Hi all, hopoe you had a great weekend. Thought I would share a pic of the swirly frame I did for Julie at A2Z Scraplets A2Z. It was so quick and easy to do, in fact it took under 20 minutes. I took it outside and sprayed it with mat black paint, then it was only a matter of adding the photo and a few embellishments. If you would like to have a go at one you can buy the frames from The Scrapheap which can be found here.

First weekday of the holidays and somehow, my one kid has turned into four. I have Ebony, her boyfriend, her boyfriends younger brother and her cousin. Todays activity is fishing. If they were expecting Rex Hunt style there was bound to be disappointment. No fancy ugly sticks here, I bought them all a handreel and a packet of prawns and this morning I will be sending them off on the bus with a bottle of cordiol and some sandwiches.

Yesterday we planned a mini family outing to Robina Town Centre with Eb and her boyfriend Zac. I had saved a little money I wanted to buy Eb some track pants and a jumper...(not from Citibeach-her shop of choice ). She was actually very good about buying the stuff from Kmart and Cotton On and for forty dollars she got three pairs of trackies and a hoody. No moaning about the brands, so sulking at all. Lulled me into a false sense of security because usually family outings end with a tanty from Eb, a scolding from me and Martin swearing he will never go anywhere with us ever again. Oh dear, I was soooo wrong...she started about the iphone she wants for her birthday (months away yet). We dragged to all the phone stores to look at this over priced gadget. I told her it was unlikely we could afford it in time for her birthday and that's when the hissy fit started....yes it WAS exensive but if we got in on a plan....I told her plan was out of the question, she tots up phone bills higher than the national debt...the "you are mean" comments started flying along with a big long rant and she stomped off....Martin was oblivious to the whole tirade, he was browsing the butcher shop window...when he came back to me Ebony was missing in busy shopping centre cyber space along with Zac who had gone to look for her. Of course it was my fault because ...well it's always my fault no explanation needed. $%# this Martin says, I am going home. So off he stomps with me running behind. We were almost home when I get a phone call from Ebony asking where we are...when I told her she got really angry and told me it wasn't fair, she didn't stomp off she was just looking in a shop window (yeah right). So yet ANOTHER family day was ruined! As soon as we got home Martin jumped in his truck and drove off like a maniac to go and sulk somewhere and half an hour later Eb and Zac arrived home on the bus....and boy did I give it to her...the talk about grattiude...and how life didn't revolve around her...then I threw in the bit about kids in other countries dying of hunger and they did't whinge about owning iphones-no arguements this time she knew she was in the wrong and went straight up to her room and tidied it up , brought out all her dirty dishes, put her clothes in the laundry basket (the sure sign I knew , she was aware she had done the wrong thing). There are two ways for me to look at this. The first and most obvious is that she is spoilt and ungrateful. The second is that today she is happy to go fishing with a three dollar hand reel and a bottle of cordiol. I know that every weekend she is home playing wii and watching movies out in the garage with her friends...she isn't out smoking bongs, drinking alcohol and getting into trouble with the police....and in about 5 years time she will move out of home and someone else will be putting up with her moodiness. Some of you reading this will be shaking your heads and others will give that knowing nod which means "I know exactly what its like to have a teenager." Lord give me strength-and a double vodka!

The winter chill is definately in the air now, I have got the heater blaring. I bought Emily and Ella a cute beanie and scarf each...they look so cute...buuuuutt I think Ella looks a bit bogan lol
That's the thing with 2 year olds, they have no sense of style...which is the pot calling the kettle black . When I was a teenager waaaaayyyy back in the seventies I was a style icon in my flares and platform shoes but these days I am the daggiest nerdiest thing going....in fact right at this moment I am dressed in tracky pants that are low waisted...which means half of my bum crack hangs out when I sit down, topped with one of Martins old t-shirts and pink bed socks-sexy mumma!-NOT!!!!

Ebony has been doing work experience at a child care centre all week. She comes home every day with tales of toddlers who she reckons are "psycho" and have tantrums and don't do as they are told...HELLLLOOO...When she was that age she was the queen of tantrums. She would hold her breath till she passed out, she would bite herself and pull her hair out in clumps....and the real show stopper was being able to vomit on demand...which meant if we were shopping and she wanted a toy and I said no...she would vomit...not just a little chuck but a huge dramatic chunder followed by choking. (The paediatrician told me very few children mastered that magic trick-lucky me!)

School holidays start here tomorrow, yippeee...not! Back in the good old days when the business was doing well and money wasn't an issue we could whip out the cash and shout Eb and a friend to Movie World or Dream world...but I am afraid these holidays we will be waiting for Cheap Tuesdays at the video shop for the $1 movies. I no doubt will have the boyfriend Zac (Eb's boyfriend not mine) for most of the holidays...but he is very pleasant, polite and helpful so he's no bother...in fact he is so nice sometimes I feel like keeping him...because he doesn't get PMT.

I am off to buy nit shampoo tomorrow.. a little souvenir from the childcare cantre...Ebony is scratching like mad so I am guessing we will find critters...It has been years since we have had to go through that dreadful daily ritual...from grade one to grade five it was almost a daily occurance..except in the school holdays when we would have a few weeks of nit free bliss. Those little buggars can be quite resiliant, I swear you could almost see them doing backstroke in the shampoo foam...I am surprised Ebony hasn't burnt them alive with her hair straightener...and those of you with teenage girls will know all about the hair straightening ritual. Ebonys end of the house always has the lingering aroma of singed hair.

It's been a while since I have done a quiz so I reckon I should put you all to the test

1. It's 9pm and everyone else is in bed...you are feeling a bit peckish so you head to the kitchen for a snack..do you choose

A. a few rice crackers and a glass of water

B. a cup of coffee and just one biscuit

c. a cup of coffee and nearly half a packet of biscuits

2. You put on your jeans and for some reason they don't even go close to doing up . Do you

A. Resign yourself to the fact that you have put on weight.

B. Accuse someone of shrinking them in the clothes dryer

C. Figure that if the jeans dont fit anyway you may as well eat the second half of the packet of biscuits

3. You have just finished a 9 hour shift at work and the grand kids come for a visit and want you to play. Do you

A. Go out the back and play a vigorous game of catchy

B. Tell them you will play doctors...and that you are too sick to get off the couch so they will have to come and make you better

C. Tell them Pop needs their help outside washing the ute.

4. It's the tenth call today from a pesky tellemarketer. Do you

A. Buy whatever the hell it is they are trying to flog

B. Politely decline their offer

C. Ask them what time they will be cooking dinner and when they ask why...say " so I can bloody ring you when you are in the middle of doing something"

5. Your teenager asks if you can buy them a $600 iphone. Do you

A. Say yeah sure and buy it

B. Tell them that it is an expensive item and that perhaps they should look for a little part time job and save up for one

C. Burst out laughing and tell them to rack off.

6. Your mum gives you a really ugly top she bought for you at the op shop. Do you

A. Gush about how beautiful it is and put it on straight away

B. Say 'What a shame it isn't my size but it might fit one of your sisters"

C. Tell your Mum it's crap but Hubby will use it to wash the car.

7. Your husband-when asked -says "Yes..your bum DOES look big in that". Do you

A. Shrug and figure you thought as much

B. Give him the death look and thank him for his opinion

C. Think under your breath " yeah, you baldy headed little fat bastard, you obviously forgot to look in the mirror this morning

If you answerd mostly A's...you are such a liar, no one is that nice

If you answered mostly B's ...I still think you are fibbing a bit...but good for you anyway

If you answered mostly C's...welcome to MY world!

That's all folks I am off for a cofee and half a packet of biscuits

I already remembered some news lol. Just wanted to say how much I love browsing the gallery over at the Scrapheap. I think I have been a member of aussielayouts for five years or more now and through peoples layouts I have watched everyones kids grow up, followed their travel adventures, witnessed weddings and new births and made many many wonderful friends. If you want to check out the gallery just go here .

Also Julie has a great sketch challenge going on over at the A2Z Scraplets blog. You can check it out here. There is a great pricze up for grabs so you should really have a shot at it....there is a new competition every month so keep checking back. This months sketch was really pretty and I really enjoyed doing my layout...

....and by the way, no one...I mean no one si to bag me out about my music selection...cos I like it! lol

ok that really is all I remember now- as you were!

Well somehow six months has slipped by since I last updated, I have no idea where that time went! This cute photo was taken at Emily's 6th birthday party which was at the end of May. She had a night time birthday party and then ten of her little friends slept over (brave on Haleys part). I took over as entertainment committee and we all had a blast doing the limbo, conga line and (much to Ebonys disgust) I taught them a few golden oldy specialty dances such as the monkey and the sprinkler...fun was had by all...although Ebony told me I was sooooo embarrassing and she wouldn't come to a kids party with me again...she is just jealous I can do the sprinkler dance better than her!
In other news Haley is expecting her third baby early October...we already know it's a girl and I for one am so happy...gotta love little girls.
I have broadened my work experience and now work a few days a week at the Surfers Paradise Golf Club as a waitress, barista and dishpig.....and I know what you are all thinking...and you are soooo right...I should NOT be a waitress lol....hard to turn corners and keep that darn food on the plate...it's just lucky my sister is the bistro manager and chef...when she sees me head back to the kitchen she just remakes the order no questions asked. Have to say I use the term barista very loosley as well, there is no way I could rock up to a coffee shop and apply for a job...this whole coffee thing is a bit of crock really...flat white, latte, Cappacino...all the same except the order of the way you pour it into the cup is a bit different...my theory anyway.
Other news...I have been sleepwalking on a regular basis...something I haven't done in years...Ebony got up at 4 o'clock one morning to find me with a feather duster in hand doing a bit of cleaning....have also been found washing the wardrobe doors in the middle of the night, quizzed by Martin as to what exactly i was wandering around the house looking for...to be told..a cigarette lighter to light the chip fryer??? (that's a bit freaky) and just the other night I woke up freeezing cold and found myself lying in the bath - no water thank God. Odd behaviour, I know it's brought on by stress but I haven't bothered going to the doctor because he would send me for tests...and I would put the referal in the glove box with the faeces jar, urine jar, colonoscopy request form, zyban prescription and blood test forms...no point really.
Thats all for now, I am sure I will think of some more news which I will add later when it comes to me!

Eight months since I updated???Who could ever be that busy!! I won't bother catching you up, it is all rather boring and depressing...a new year , a new start!

I will bring only news from this year and since its only the first month it won't take long...

1. Thank heavens the weather has been fine for these school holidays, the pool is finally getting used...Haley brings the kids over a few days a week for a swim...Ella likes to wear her "gobbles" and do "bong dives". I head butted Emily in the pool a few weeks ago and knocked out her loose tooth...she was worried the tooth fairy wouldn't come through without the tooth as proof, so poor me spent an hour wearing MY "gobbles" looking for it in a pool..you have no idea how hard it is to find a tiny tooth when every pebble in your pool looks like one...but I found it!
   

I have a few jobs now which is bringing in some much needed extra dollars ...some of the jobs I like and some I really hate but that's life...The job I hate is cleaning...I do two houses a week for rellos and although I am not in a position to be picky I always thought I was above cleaning other peoples toilets...apparently not! So far I have broken a soap dish and came close to busting some fancy fangled new wave oven which luckliyI caught before I knocked it off the kitchen bench...My brother and his wife and shopping network junkies so there are always lots of gadgets at their place which they invite me to use...the latest is a machine youy stand on and it vibrates...the more you push the button the more violently it vibrates...and the longer you stay on it the more likely you are to spend the rest of the day walking around like you have hit the turps....

Another job I do for my brother and sister in law is work one day a week in their office..I suck at office work but the good thing is they suck at it too...I clean the office first and then do filing...they are the only people I know who have a whole file for traffic fines...which is full...if I am not sure where something should be filed they tell me to put it in miscellaneous....I need a whole filing cabinet for misc!! My sister in law usually rocks in around nine, paints her nails, puts ring tones onto her phone and eats donuts.....around 11 o clock she announces we have done enough and its time to go...I get paid 100 dollars for this back breaking yakka.

My next job is working at a golf club...My sister runs the bistro so she gets me in two days a week to be a waitress/kitchen hand/dishpig. Anyone who knows me well would be thinking how scary I would be as a waitress...and rightly so...my first day I lost two plates of sandwiches on the floor when I didn't negotiate a corner...also squirted coffee topping all over myself when making an iced coffee and last count I have dropped four cappacinos....I do however make lovely carrot curls on the carrot curling machine and I am very quick at unloading the dishwasher...which is probably what is saving my arse...all these jobs are a thousand times better than the job I did in November and lasted a whole two days.....the job description was

"how would you like to work with a team of friendly women in our exclusive and exciting salad packing business?" Hell yeah, I can just see me sitting on a little stool as little plastic tubs roll slowly by on a conveyor belt....me plopping a little bit of coleslaw in each tub, kidding around with the lady sitting next to me...so I applied and got the job....I don't know where the hell I got my idea of salad packing from but it was nothing like reality!!!!!!!! Six am start. Kitted out with a white lab coat, long white heavy vinyl apron, big gum boots, gloves, hair net, sleeve protectors, no jewellery, no makeup, three layers of clothing underneath...I was walked into a freezing cold room...and I mean polar ice cap....freeze the balls off a tennis court...I was introduced to Soon Yi and Mo Pong (not their real names but close enough!)who couldn't speak a word of bloody english who used gestures to indicate what I was supposed to be doing...which was grabbing between 24 and 28 grams of english spinach leaves out of a crate, weighing it and plopping into a punnet....you have no idea how hard it is to guess between 24 and 28 grams...and the whole time the supervisor is clapping her hands saying "come on ladies, chop chop"....I did this for nearly two hours when I was rescued (so I thought) to be put on crate packing...a long conveyor belt winds through the whole factory with thirty ladies packing an assortment of lettuce leaves into punnets and onto the belt....through a machine which packs in in plastic and it continues on its merry way and drops into a large tray...this is where I come in....my job is to pick up two packs at a time, pack them into a crate, 16 per crate, the writing all facing the one way, checking that the use by date is correct and that they are sealed properly.... ( the whole time my eyes are burning from bleach fumes ).... picking up the full crate running over to a pallet, stacking the crates 5 high in one direction, four high in the other direction on top of that, 150 crates in all, putting a description ticket on each crate, wheeling the full pallet into the next room, bringing back an empty pallet to start again....by which time the tray is over flowing with packets of lettuce which are spilling into the floor....OMG, HOLY FRIGGIN CRAP!! This was me for the next ten hours....and at the end of the day the boss says you did really well Bev, we normally have two people doing that job but one of the ladies is off sick....ONYA! The next day was a little easier but at the end of the day when we were hosing down the facory and scrubbing the floors I was overcome by the fumes...by the time I got home I had the worst head ache ever, my eyes were running non stop and I could barely breathe....I went to the docs the next day and he told me I had an allergic reaction to the cleaning products and I should consider leaving the job...HALLELLbloodyLUJAH!!!!!!!!! So the next time you are in the supermarket and you see punnets of lettuce leaves or spinach think of the poor bitches who work in that factory doing 12 hours shifts freezing their tits off....a footnote to this is I havnt been paid for the 2 x 12 days I worked because they are claiming your first two days are work experience....pigs arse, I will give them chop chop!! Stay tuned for that one!

Well that was rather ho hum...I will see what the next few weeks bring, maybe something more excting will happen!