wwwoooooohooo, yeehaa, uh huh uh huh uh huh.....I am mildy excited about the kids being back to school, are you?? This year Ebony and her cousin Cody are in year ten, I truly never thought I would see the day!! Shopping for school goodies was relatively painless this year...well apart from the shoes, that one is always torture. Ebony has a knack for wanting shoes that haven't even been invented yet which usually means trekking to every shoe shop, sporting shop and surf shop within a twenty mile radius. After thirty odd shops I was prepared to pay a million dollars but as it turns out they were only 100 dollars...and just in case you want to know what's hot this year it is DC's ...Of course that means nothing to me, they are white sneakers with blue letters and I probably could have found something very similar in KMart...then again I am not 14 and I have very GAY taste.

My tiny little Emily started Prep this year...where the hell did that time go??? I jumped ahead of mum and got her a very cute canvas Bratz bag, cool white Bratz sneakers (not DC's and only 25 bucks lol), you beaut shiny black school shoes and a pretty pink lunch box and drink bottle. Her size 4 uniform swims on her and I had to adjust the skorts to make them stay up but she looks cute in it all the same...the photo is from after school so her hair is looking a little bit naff but she still looks pretty excited.

Having wet school holidays sucked big time. Every day I had a housefull of bored loud hungry kids (um why do they always come here???). I struggled to keep up with chips and drinks and got very used to having the tv blaring with MTV. I would like to take this opportunity to warn parents to ban the following programs...My Sweet 16...a show about rich little yanky kids whose parents spend thousands and thousands of dollars on their kids 16th birthdays, usually hiring a prominent rapper for entertainment at the venue and then presenting their spoilt brat with a mercedes sports car...dream on I say, a pool party is about as good as it will get around here and maybe a Datsun 120Y. The other show (which was the boys favourite) was Jackass....a whole heap of dickheads pulling ridiculous dangerous stunts...I really hated that one because as soon as it finished I would be out the front yelling "Cody get off the roof with your skateboard" or "Chris, if you wrap your face with Gladwrap you WILL die" Sheesh bring back the Simpsons, at least it was harmless.

Martin has almost finished his two weeks holiday...(of which he has so far worked 9 days) We were going to go and stay at the Sunshine Coast for 2 weeks but somehow that fizzled....We managed a day at Burleigh Beach....Martin and I both hate the beach but Ebony and Chris really really wanted to go..before we left they wanted to buy a boogie board but Dad wasnt going to be conned into a major shopping centre so we stopped off at our local Woolworths and gave them 10 minutes to find a boogie board each...they came back to the car with very long faces...they bought the last two... Ebony got a pink one with a Maui Girl logo ( which is SO not Quicksilver) and Chris seriously lucked out with a Wiggles one (try walking down the beach with one of those trying to look cool!) They both seemed to have a good time although they probably would have preferred it if I didnt spend the whole day on the edge of the water telling them to move back between the flags, don't go out so far, come and put a tshirt on so you don't get belly rash, sunscreen time!! We had lunch at a cafe on the boardwalk and Ebony was horrified when I ordered a burger....I pulled my knife out of my bag (I carry it everywhere) and cut it into tiny bite sized pieces (yep the new teeth are still giving me grief...anything not sloppy is challenging!!) I think thats why she moved to another table lol.

Another outing which was surprisingly successful was to Tropical Fruit World. I thought after the thrills and spills of the theme parks, Eb and Cody would find it boring, but they had a fantastic time and learned heaps of interesting facts...did you know pineapples and bananas are not fruits but herbs?....neither did I! We took a tractor ride through the plantation and at one stage stopped near macadamia bushes so eveyone could get out and gather some....I saw Cody heading back towards the tractor with a big handful so I pulled out my camera and yelled out "Cody , stand over there and show me your nuts" Everyone burst out laughing and I didnt know why until Eb pointed out my embarrassing blunder..

Our last outing of the school holidays was to Aussieworld at the Sunshine Coast. The kids racked off and deserted Martin and I as soon as we got there so we headed off for a game of mini golf...it was so darned hot I fainted on the 16th hole....Martin was flapping around like a chook not knowing what to do ...he eventually ran and got me a drink which was a relief...but we still had to finish the last two bloody holes...I hate that game they need bigger holes I reckon!

Ebony begged me to go on the Wild Mouse ride , which really didnt look too bad...I have been on all the rides at the other theme parks including the Lethal Weapon, Giant Drop and wipeout so I figured it would be a piece of cake...I figured wrong, it was the scariest bloody thing I have ever been on and I very nearly lost my teeth...again again Eb begged .... NO WAY!!!! She settled for a ride on the octopus....note to self....if you suffer vertigo, do not ride on things that spin.....I hopped off the ride and 3 days later I am still spinning!

I had to go for an eye test the other day....she knew I had high blood pressure and cholesterol just by looking at the blood vessels in my eyes...that freaked me out a bit, I am making a very concious effort to eat properly now...when I went to pick up my new glasses I told the receptionist there had been a mistake...I had paid extra money to have the lenses ground down thinner...she pointed out they had been ground down....to coke bottle thickness!! Holy crap I must be almost blind. When the optomitrist tried them on me she said in the near future I should consider blepharoplasty as I have hooded eyelids and my right one is obscuring my peripheral vision....I said yes...then came home and looked up blepharoplasty on the internet as I didnt have a clue what it was.....an eyelid lift, now why couldnt she have just said that! Dunno about that one, I will ponder for a while...I have seen this procedure on the health channel and it kinda looks like a circumcision of the eyelid...thats gotta hurt!

Since having my teeth done I have lost five kilos...I need to lose at least that much again...it really is an unpleasant experience getting dentures...a few weeks ago we took Martins mum to the pokies for a bit of an outing before she had to fly back to Melbourne...it got to 2.30 in the afternoon and I hadnt had a thing to eat all day...I went to a vending machine and bought a pack of Cadbury choc ball thingys... I sat down at my poker machine and put a couple in my mouth and bit down....to my absolute horror my top teeth somersaulted out of my mouth and landed in the coin tray....i retrieved them like a rocket but in my embarrassed haste I was trying to put them in upside down...they were coated in chocolate......and well the whole scene was very ugly....I use hold tite powder now to glue them in each day till I get a relign in 5 months time.

Well thats about all the shame and scandal I have for now, I was going to try and change my music but I forget how to do it lol...catch you all later!