Jodie and Duane arrived home from their Canadian adventure last week armed to the eyeballs with heaps of lovely (and as you can see some not so lovely) photos to scrap. On their way home they stopped over in California so they went to Hollywood and Disneyland...lucky buggars. The Top photos are of Lake Louise...it looks so pretty...Jodie had three wishes when she went to Canada...she wanted to learn to snowboard, make a snowman and see a squirrell....well she sort of learnt to snowboard...did manage to make a snowman...hers is nicer than Daunes...his hasn't got a face (in case any kids are looking lol)....and she finally got to see a squirrel up close and personal when her roomy got up in the middle of the night to pee....heard a strange noise in the toilet...jumped up ...and there he was lol...apparently removing the said squirrel was a shit of a job...pardon the pun..Thay are both now looking for jobs to save up and go overseas again..they have been bit by the bug!

I can hardly believe that Emily is five already...those years have gone by in a blur!!! This afternoon we had a little afternoon tea at our place to celebrate her birthday. She was impressed with all her presents...I went mad as usual...bratz doll, polly pocket, fuzzy felts, Barbie pixi under the sea play centre, Amigo computer game ( so cute...a little pet dog you have to train), clothes clothes and more clothes, princess dress ups and LOTS of hair accessories (she loves them). I couldn't give one without the other so there was a bag of goodies for Ella as well but I needn"t have bothered...she was more interested in the blow out whistles. Emily took her birthday girl role very seriously and announced that she would be eating her fifth freddo frog in a row as she was the birthday girl and she could do whatever she wanted....unfortunately for her, Dad happens to be back from the mines and told her in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't be touching any more frogs ...this really upset the apple cart and in true female form she had to go off for a while and have a big sulk.
When I took Ems photo holding up how many fingers for her age, Ella got in on the act and held up one finger and announced "two"...Such a dag that kid...she also preferred to wear her princess crown as sunnies.
We had a simple little party tea and Emily announced she was just going to eat icecream cake because she was the birthday girl and she could eat whatever she wanted....Dad once again had to pull her into line which resulted in another girly sulk. Didn't bother Ella...she tucked into her fairy bread with tomato sauce no worries. Thankfully Ebony was home to set up her new computer game which kept Emily amused for the rest of the afternoon while Ella ran amok...I gave her a torch to play with and next thing I know she is pulling down the back of my jeans and shining the torch down my pants and asking if I "do poo?" She also painted a chocolate mural on the front of the fridge, upended her icecream cake on the table and gave Pop one mighty big whack over the head with her new fairy wand...That was the cue that it was time to go home to bed. Emily announced she didn't have to go to bed because she was the birthday girl and she could do whatever she wanted ....you can guess the rest! Ah the joys of grandkids....quick pat on the head and they were on their way....I bet Haley and Joe were in for a little hyperactivity when they got home...not my fault they were sneaking freddo frogs all afternoon!!!

Happy Mother's Day everyone, I hope you were all thoroughly spoilt today!!!Before I forgoet the photo is of me, my eldest Sister Jenny, Mum and Josh who is one of Mum's 20 great grandchildren. My day started with a sleep in until 8.30...pure bliss. Next were the pressies...flanny jammies from Haley, almost my national costume in the cooler weather both day and night. Martin and Ebony spent most of Saturday afternoon shopping for my gift and I have to say I never would have guessed in a million years. The first one I opened was a wooden jewellery box...Martin must have noticed the bewildered look on my face since the only jewellery I own is a watch and pair of earrings which I never take off. The next parcel was a lovely gold chain and pendant...hence the jewellery box?? Knowing how much I love completely practical things like doona covers and vacuum cleaners, Ebony explained that they never know what to but me so from now on they will be adding to the collection...lovely sentiment....but I still really love doona covers and vacuum cleaners.
We decided...or rather Martin and Ebony decided we should go somewhere special for lunch....this was at 11am not giving us much chance of finding anywhere on the Gold Coast that wouldn't already be booked out...after letting my fingers do the walking we got a reservation at The Town and Country...a local restauarant...my sil and bil came along too. Turns out theplace is brilliant and I have no idea why we have never been there before since its only a five minute drive from where we live. It was an all you can eat buffet consisting of cold seafood and hot roast and vegetables so it suited Ebony , who loves roast, my sister in law who is vegetarian and Martin who is just a guts...as I looked around at all the families gathered for a special lunch with family, I noticed they were deep in conversation, laughing and generally relaxing and having a good time...our party of five however were watching the clock waiting for the magical hour of 12 so they could rush up when the buffet started. As soon as the big hand and little hand were both on the 12, Martin and Mick did the fifty yard dash and started loading their plates with king prawns...far too many for the rather small plates. Ebony was doing her usual whinge because there was hardly anything she liked and everything looked like it had onion in it...sheesh...I told her to load her plate with the lovely looking chicken breasts ......she did and was really pissed off to find it was actually salmon...my bad! As with most all you can eat buffets, we all ate way too much, incuding one of everything in the desserts...gotta love mud cake and baked cheescake...I know for a fact that Martin and Mick both got their fifty bucks worth and although Ebony didnt eat much to start with she made up for it with dessert. All in all a great day out...of course when we got home Martin and I had a few hours nanny nap!
During the week we took Mum back home after staying with us for a fortnight. I think she had a good time, but like all people her age she loves her own place. I had warned Ebony and Martin to behave while she was here and apart from a few Eb tantys they were pretty well behaved. Mum has trouble getting around now, she has arthritus in her spine and knees, so we were pretty much house bound. I did manage to convince her to go and have a look at one of our local junk shops and she was so pleased she did....got a cheapo version of one of those spinning dusters they flog to death on those tv ads...except these ones were only 14.95 instead of the million dollars they want for the real deal. I bet she has dusted her house from top to bottom by now! While she was here she got new teeth...it turns out my neighbours father in law is a retired dental technician, so he came to the house....what service!! Took impressions on Wednesday and she had her teeth by Friday...both top and bottom and at a fraction of the cost you would normally pay...Mum hasnt had bottom teeth for 17 years so when she put her new ones in she was talking with the familiar whistle...not that I am hanging shit because I have been having a few problems myself with my bottom teeth as well. On a recent scrapbooking getaway I was eating some roast beef when I detected what I thought was a bone...I didnt panic until I realised the bone was in fact my bottom plate which had somehow managed not only to dislodge but turn completely sideways in my mouth...I discretely tried to rectify the problem, but with a mouthful of meat and pumpkin it was never going to be easy...add to that a cough that just came from nowhere and I had food AND teeth escaping my mouth which was no doubt grossing everybody out....hard to choke on your teeth without doing it loudly!!...sorry everone...you will be pleased to know I have packed the bottom teeth away for now.
I am still trying to fight off a wog I picked up along the way...snotty nose, wino cough, sinus, sneezing..the whole kit and kaboodle...went to the docs twice...on my second visit he got out the dreaded blood pressure monitor.....and before I know it I have this big long list of things to have tested at pathology including cholesterol (again) ...then he handed me a suss looking brown jar....which I have to use to provide a stool sample...yay, how I love shitting in jars!! And all this because I have a cough????????????????????PLEASE!
I had a visit from my nephew and his wife this week along with their seven year old son Josh ( he is in the photos) They had to see a child psychologist hre on the Gold Coast....Josh has mild aspergers along with a few other problems and they are currently trying to sort out his medication. Hats off to anyone who has a child with this condition, he is a real handful!! While eating the dinner I cooked he told me my cooking was shit and HIS nan cooks much better than me....also referred to my husband as fatboy rofl. We went down to get takeaway the next night and we ordered extra as Ebony had friends over,,,when they were putting food on their plates Josh asked them if they were going to pay as they shouldn't get to eat for free....Ebony was mortified.. Although he struggles with school, he certainly is good with his hands...his mum got up to go to work one morning only to find her car jacked up with all the wheels missing (cant get over that, he is only 7, I dont think I could do it!)...he also pulled his sisters laptop into a million pieces and unscrewed an aluminium strip from the whole perimetre of his pops caravan...needless to say it was lovely and quiet when they left.
Emily and Ella are as cute as ever, I see them four or five times a week...last time Joe was home Emily told him he should not have another beer...when asked why she said she is learning about the food pyramid and beer is as bad as fats and oils...the things they learn!
Martin turned 56 yesterday...along with UnderbellyUncut and a chair massager as well as his usual chocolates and licorice, he received five new shirts...all extra large as it seems I have done something to all his old shirts and they don't fit anymore.....HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish I could use that excuse!
Well it seems that even though I havent updated for 4 months I have nothing much else to tell...maybe I will have some more news for you when Jodie gets back from Canada next week...stay tuned!

wwwoooooohooo, yeehaa, uh huh uh huh uh huh.....I am mildy excited about the kids being back to school, are you?? This year Ebony and her cousin Cody are in year ten, I truly never thought I would see the day!! Shopping for school goodies was relatively painless this year...well apart from the shoes, that one is always torture. Ebony has a knack for wanting shoes that haven't even been invented yet which usually means trekking to every shoe shop, sporting shop and surf shop within a twenty mile radius. After thirty odd shops I was prepared to pay a million dollars but as it turns out they were only 100 dollars...and just in case you want to know what's hot this year it is DC's ...Of course that means nothing to me, they are white sneakers with blue letters and I probably could have found something very similar in KMart...then again I am not 14 and I have very GAY taste.

My tiny little Emily started Prep this year...where the hell did that time go??? I jumped ahead of mum and got her a very cute canvas Bratz bag, cool white Bratz sneakers (not DC's and only 25 bucks lol), you beaut shiny black school shoes and a pretty pink lunch box and drink bottle. Her size 4 uniform swims on her and I had to adjust the skorts to make them stay up but she looks cute in it all the same...the photo is from after school so her hair is looking a little bit naff but she still looks pretty excited.

Having wet school holidays sucked big time. Every day I had a housefull of bored loud hungry kids (um why do they always come here???). I struggled to keep up with chips and drinks and got very used to having the tv blaring with MTV. I would like to take this opportunity to warn parents to ban the following programs...My Sweet 16...a show about rich little yanky kids whose parents spend thousands and thousands of dollars on their kids 16th birthdays, usually hiring a prominent rapper for entertainment at the venue and then presenting their spoilt brat with a mercedes sports car...dream on I say, a pool party is about as good as it will get around here and maybe a Datsun 120Y. The other show (which was the boys favourite) was Jackass....a whole heap of dickheads pulling ridiculous dangerous stunts...I really hated that one because as soon as it finished I would be out the front yelling "Cody get off the roof with your skateboard" or "Chris, if you wrap your face with Gladwrap you WILL die" Sheesh bring back the Simpsons, at least it was harmless.

Martin has almost finished his two weeks holiday...(of which he has so far worked 9 days) We were going to go and stay at the Sunshine Coast for 2 weeks but somehow that fizzled....We managed a day at Burleigh Beach....Martin and I both hate the beach but Ebony and Chris really really wanted to go..before we left they wanted to buy a boogie board but Dad wasnt going to be conned into a major shopping centre so we stopped off at our local Woolworths and gave them 10 minutes to find a boogie board each...they came back to the car with very long faces...they bought the last two... Ebony got a pink one with a Maui Girl logo ( which is SO not Quicksilver) and Chris seriously lucked out with a Wiggles one (try walking down the beach with one of those trying to look cool!) They both seemed to have a good time although they probably would have preferred it if I didnt spend the whole day on the edge of the water telling them to move back between the flags, don't go out so far, come and put a tshirt on so you don't get belly rash, sunscreen time!! We had lunch at a cafe on the boardwalk and Ebony was horrified when I ordered a burger....I pulled my knife out of my bag (I carry it everywhere) and cut it into tiny bite sized pieces (yep the new teeth are still giving me grief...anything not sloppy is challenging!!) I think thats why she moved to another table lol.

Another outing which was surprisingly successful was to Tropical Fruit World. I thought after the thrills and spills of the theme parks, Eb and Cody would find it boring, but they had a fantastic time and learned heaps of interesting facts...did you know pineapples and bananas are not fruits but herbs?....neither did I! We took a tractor ride through the plantation and at one stage stopped near macadamia bushes so eveyone could get out and gather some....I saw Cody heading back towards the tractor with a big handful so I pulled out my camera and yelled out "Cody , stand over there and show me your nuts" Everyone burst out laughing and I didnt know why until Eb pointed out my embarrassing blunder..

Our last outing of the school holidays was to Aussieworld at the Sunshine Coast. The kids racked off and deserted Martin and I as soon as we got there so we headed off for a game of mini golf...it was so darned hot I fainted on the 16th hole....Martin was flapping around like a chook not knowing what to do ...he eventually ran and got me a drink which was a relief...but we still had to finish the last two bloody holes...I hate that game they need bigger holes I reckon!

Ebony begged me to go on the Wild Mouse ride , which really didnt look too bad...I have been on all the rides at the other theme parks including the Lethal Weapon, Giant Drop and wipeout so I figured it would be a piece of cake...I figured wrong, it was the scariest bloody thing I have ever been on and I very nearly lost my teeth...again again Eb begged .... NO WAY!!!! She settled for a ride on the octopus....note to self....if you suffer vertigo, do not ride on things that spin.....I hopped off the ride and 3 days later I am still spinning!

I had to go for an eye test the other day....she knew I had high blood pressure and cholesterol just by looking at the blood vessels in my eyes...that freaked me out a bit, I am making a very concious effort to eat properly now...when I went to pick up my new glasses I told the receptionist there had been a mistake...I had paid extra money to have the lenses ground down thinner...she pointed out they had been ground down....to coke bottle thickness!! Holy crap I must be almost blind. When the optomitrist tried them on me she said in the near future I should consider blepharoplasty as I have hooded eyelids and my right one is obscuring my peripheral vision....I said yes...then came home and looked up blepharoplasty on the internet as I didnt have a clue what it was.....an eyelid lift, now why couldnt she have just said that! Dunno about that one, I will ponder for a while...I have seen this procedure on the health channel and it kinda looks like a circumcision of the eyelid...thats gotta hurt!

Since having my teeth done I have lost five kilos...I need to lose at least that much again...it really is an unpleasant experience getting dentures...a few weeks ago we took Martins mum to the pokies for a bit of an outing before she had to fly back to Melbourne...it got to 2.30 in the afternoon and I hadnt had a thing to eat all day...I went to a vending machine and bought a pack of Cadbury choc ball thingys... I sat down at my poker machine and put a couple in my mouth and bit down....to my absolute horror my top teeth somersaulted out of my mouth and landed in the coin tray....i retrieved them like a rocket but in my embarrassed haste I was trying to put them in upside down...they were coated in chocolate......and well the whole scene was very ugly....I use hold tite powder now to glue them in each day till I get a relign in 5 months time.

Well thats about all the shame and scandal I have for now, I was going to try and change my music but I forget how to do it lol...catch you all later!