I am under pressure now that Jackie has challenged me to update weekly!!! If I can't come up with some news I will just have to lie!!
Well as you can see, Miss Ella is now on the move however her technique is rather odd lol. Up on the palm of her hands, bum held high and doing a serious split manoevre she then takes a lunge forward planting her face into the carpet, then does it all again to caterpillar all over the place...it might look a bit strange but she can do it with alarming speed. Emily gets really miffed all the time because Ella gets into her space wrecking her games, grabbing her dolls and all sorts of other mischief...Sibling rivalry has begun...
This week Martin and I both came to the realisation that we need to lose weight. I found a website that works out your BMI and did a calculation on us both...martin came up as obese and was most indignant so I added some centimetres to his height so he could be overweight instead..I too came up as overweight (using my real height, I am not a sook like him). He has started the Tony Furguson diet which is run through Terry White chemists, replacing 2 meals a day with a protein shake and an evening meal...he cant have bread, rice, pasta or biscuits ...no worries he says I love vegies...um cant have potato, pumpkin, peas or corn...what else is there??? Was thrilled to know he could still have a beer....but only if he sacrifices his fruit allowance of the day (which doesn't include his favourite fruits of rockmelon and watermelon!) Good luck to him, I had to be realistic and admit I would never in a million years stick to that so I am just doing a healthy eating plan that does include my favourites....I couldnt survive a day without bread!! I will be brave and let you all know my starting weight of 76 kilos, I need to lose 10 kilos to be at the top of my healthy weight range...please ask me every week how I am doing so I will shame myself into not failing (again!) I also bought one one those huge exercise balls and some hand weights...I dont care how wide your bum is , it is next to impossible to try and balance on one of those things, while trying to lift weights...funniest home video would have a field day here while I am trying to do my stuff!! Martin also has to lose 10 kilos and unfortunately has way more will power than me so it will be interesting to see how we go...The first test came for me tonight when Ebony had a dagwood dog and chips for tea while I had a half a tin of vegetable soup (which looked very much like diahorrea in a toilet bowl...yuk!) I almost snuck into the kitchen to lick the paper Ebs tea had been wrapped in but I held back...only just!
I spent the afternoon at the doctors as I have been suffering from dreadful headaches...I had a coughing fit as soon as I entered his office which straight away earned me a piece of paper to take for a chest xray and a huge lecture on smoking and lung cancer...not even what I was there for...he then gave me a menopause questionnaire to fill out where I had to put a number between 0 and 3 next to each question...He told me that a score of over 15 was a concern...........I scored 52...(the highest I have ever scored on a test lol) so I have to go for blood tests yada yada as well as an abdominal ultrasound as he thinks there is a problen with my gall bladder...and then a colonoscopy because my brother had bowel cancer at forty...and at the same time I am having a colonoscopy I am also to have a ...whatever you call that scope they put down your throat and into your stomach....oh and a mamogram and pap smear....how much does that suck!!! go in for a headache and I come out like an old fart (no offence to any old farts out here).
Other news???
1.Eb is still going out with her skater boyfriend...its been weeks...I obviously didnt scare him off last time I did his hair as he is coming in the morning to have his roots redone.
2. Jodie has finally got all her test results back...the doctor was very concerned she has lost 5 kilos over the last few months...she now weighs 42 kilos...thyroid and all other tests normal.....verdict...she is naturally thin....( dont you hate people like that!!!! She eats like a horse!)
3. My bathroom is still waiting to have the vanity doors put on...I might as well do it my bloody self! cept I would have to use a drill and that could get ugly!
4. I burnt my lip on a piece of tomato out of my toasted sandwich...while I was carrying on trying to get it off my lip the rest of the tomato went down the front of my top...while I was carrying on trying to get the tomato off my chest I knocked over my can of pepsi max on my BAS statement and all through my keyboard...lesson in there for you all
5. Drove up to visit Mum on Anzac Day...Came home with 12 bottles of green tomato pickles and a shirt she got me from the op shop...in her eyes I am still thin because the top was a size 8 and the ugliest little number I think I have ever seen in my entire life...thank God it's too small
6. Haley rang to tell me Ella can wave bye byes and then said to Ella "show Nanny how you wave bye byes" duh don't know which side of the family she inherited her brains from...ok so it was me lol
7. I have learnt that I can't do a soduku...Jodie and I have started to do the Thats Life puzzles and I cant for the life of me do the stupid soduku...To add insult to injury in the blurb of the puzzle it states its a game of common sense...I waited till Jodie went to bed and copied the answer from her magazine....
I don't have an 8, 9 or 10
see you next Friday and dont forget to ask me how I am doing with my "lifestyle change" (you know the stinkin diet!)

Happy Easter everyone!!! I have been very slack and haven't updated for yonks, however because of the very mundane life I lead you haven't missed much. We have recently renovated one of our bathrooms. The house is twenty years old so the bathroom was looking very sad indeed...tiles falling off, grout permantly scarred with mould, a vanity that left droppings of chipboard every time you opened or closed the doors, well past its use by date. I had visions of a pristine white bathroom, the sort you see in decorator magazines, however our budget didn't allow for that kind of luxury, we got instead an elcheapo version. Martin says it looks like a block of public toilets lol. When you watch those make over shows it all looks so easy, they must edit out all the crap that goes on behind the scenes...When I didn't want the tiles to come off they would fall like a deck of cards whenever you had a shower....but when I was trying to remove them for the renovation they didn't want to come off at all. Armed with a chisel and hammer I sat for days removing them, so pleased when I had finally finished only to be told by darling husband that the thick black glue also had to be scraped from the walls-that took another couple of days. It was all down hill after that, our plans of doing everything ourselves went out the window because of plumbing and drainage problems so we were over budget by a country mile after paying tradesmen to fix everything up we ended up paying a tiler as well because Martin just doesnt have enough time after working 14 hour days. I am also not very good with colours either as my white tiles turned out to be cream. Never mind its clean and new and doesnt leak, even if it is a bit ugly lol
Haley and the girls are sleeping over tonight as Joe is back at the mines and they thought Easter Bunny at our place would be more fun....we have just finished doing the traditional stencilled bunny footprints, wonder what Emily will think of it this year...Last year she asked her Mum why there was baby powder all over the floor...Haley told her it was storm dust that Easter Bunny had walked in, all through the house..Emily replied....Oh yes, storm dust....but it smells very much like baby powder!
Eb has just returned home from a date with her boyfriend...they went to Sizzler with his Mum and little sister...too cute. Chris is a skater boy (not a surfy, get it right). Last week I had to blonde his hair as his Mum had never done it before and asked if I would do it for him...three girls in the house I can do it with my eyes closed...the good thing with boys is they dont carry on if it goes a bit orange...ok a LOT orange rofl
I have extra house guests again....Haley had no sooner moved all of her crap out of our garage when Jodie asked if she and Duane could move in there for four months till they buy a house...12 years we have lived here and we have never once been able to park our car in that garage ! Martin cannot for the life of him pronounce Duanes name...not sure if its his Scottish accent but it comes out duh -wayne with a real dopey sound to it. They have also brought along their cat, which just to be confusing is called dog .
Other news in brief
*Ella is nearly six months old and worms around on the floor like a caterpiller getting into all sorts of mischief
* Ebony got a "much better than ususal" report card which ungrounded her this weekend
* I have finally thrown away the sample sized bottle of lux shower gel which for three days running I confused with the colgate bottled toothpaste
* I have Easter Eggs coming out of my ears after discovering the hidden stash of eggs in my wardrobe I had forgotten I had bought weeks ago, so everyone gets double
* Emily says Pop is no longer on her team after a backyard game of soccer resulted in her getting a ball in the chest...she says she will never play soccer with him again....Pop is pleased

And to finish off, a rather gross tale....Martin like many poor tradesmen who work outside in the stinking heat, suffers from heat rashy groin....(you know if someone suffers from this just by the way they walk) My mother told him if you used an antiperspirant roll on in this area it alleviates the problem. I didn't give this a second thought until I was going shopping
Martin: Dont forget to get me some deoderant while you are out
Bev: I bought you a tin of Brut spray last week
Martin: No not spray, roll on
Bev: You don't use roll on
Martin : Yes I do, I have been using yours
So very nice of him to tell me he had been using my Dove for weeks....eeeeww!