Yesterday when the phone rang I thought it was someone playing a practical joke on me and I was not only rude but used swear words as well....so of course when I found out it was a charity I felt it only proper I should purchase the rather expensive steak knives that were on offer. The phone and I have a real love hate relationship...it's always lovely when it's a call from someone you like but most times it's from someone I would rather not hear from... I love to be able to support charities but there are so many now I can't support them all and there is nothing worse than saying no to somebody...unless it's one of those dreaded negative gearing mortgage set ups, time share, opposing phone companies or purified water salesmen.... It's gotten to the stage where I get butterflies in my stomach every time the phone rings.
I love listening to Martin talking on the phone, its like he is talking into one of those tin cans and string get ups you used to make when you were a kid...he yells as if that's the only way they can hear him...Ebony uses the no hands method strutting around the house with the cordless phone tucked into the crook of her neck talking to friends she was just on the bus with five minutes ago. I also am intrigued when the phone rings how we all sit there waiting for someone else to answer it...we all make a half hearted attempt to look as if you are about to get up but no one actually does until its too late and the caller gives up. Because Martin goes to bed so early, if we get any calls after 6 pm he always says...'Who the hell would be ringing at this time of night" lol. My absolute pet peeve is the automated responses you get when you ring a business...if your enquiry is regarding blah blah press 1...if your call is regarding blah blah press 2.... I can never take it all in and forget which option I am after and have to go back to the main menu and listen to it all again. Just today I had to call Austar regarding our pay tv account....voice responses this time...even worse.
"Please state what your enquiry is regarding"
"bill enquiry"
"bill enquiry, is this correct?"
"yes"
"Are you after current balance, bill payment or other"
"other"
"I'm sorry, was that other?"
"Yes"
"please wait while we put you through to a customer service officer"
****interlude of other fabulous austar packages available ****(this goes on for a good five minutes!)
ring ring , ring ring, ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.....
" I'm sorry but we are currently experiencing heavier than normal phone traffic, please call again later"
Doesn't that just really pi** you off!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually doesn't the phone bill pi** you off even more...Anyone with a teenager in the house will know the shock of opening up a phone bill and seeing the monthly total...enough to feed a third world nation for a few weeks! Add to that the rates, the car rego, electricity bill and before you know it you are eating sausages and mince for weeks on end.
Anyway, enough of the whinging, this week we have had lots of lovely rain and with that the grass has gone green and grown much faster than usual...guess that means I will be mowing some time this week..Its a job I really love but it always comes with its trials and tribulations...Like how you are supposed to get that petrol into the tiny hole in the petrol tank....funnel I hear you say...keep forgetting to buy one of those.....so instead half of it ends up on the driveway (note to self, don't light cigarette). Then I have to remember if the lever on the handle is meant to be up or down when you pull the cord.....after twenty pulls you realise its obviously meant to be up....but by then you are so knackered you have to rest for 10 minutes before you try again...then its a matter of avoiding obstacles like clothes pegs, screwdrivers and my personal favourite, the neighbours dog's crap...if they are old and white it isn't an issue, it just goes up like a puff of smoke....but if you happen to hit a fresh one it gets REALLY ugly. Our front yard is a rather steep hill so going down is a breeze but pushing the mower back up is another matter entirely....you can feel it starting to slip backwards and all you can think of is how you would manage minus your feet. I hope I never find out!
Speaking of missing limbs lol, when Martins brother was in his twenties he lost his arm in a motorbike accident (30 years ago now) When he buys shirts or jumpers he cuts off one sleeve and sews up the opening. Last time we visited Victoria, Gordon gave Martin a bag full of jumpers and shirts. When Martin asked what the hell he was supposed to do with them, Gordon got quite shitty and said "well if you are going to be ungrateful I will give them to the op shop!" (not sure if they get much call for one armed jumpers either rofl)
As usual I have waffled on about nothing in particular once again, so until next time..

Today, Martin and I drove to Toogoolawah to visit Mum and we took Haley and the girls as she has yet to meet Ella. Before we came home I asked Martin to take a photo of us as its four generations and would have made a great keepsake....that is if Haley and Emily hadn't pulled one of their stupid faces and my mother could have resisted the old bunny ears behind the head routine!
Haley hasnt been in Grandmas house since she was a little girl...on the way she said "I wonder if Grandma still has that old yellow rabbit on her bed and the bear soaps in the bathroom?" Yep!!!! 18 years and that yellow rabbit is still on the bed and the soaps are still in the soap dish...it got the better of me and I had to ask....mum those soaps are at least 20 years old, why do they still look new?....what a ridiculous question! She uses a little paint brush to dust them each week...of course!!! Note to self, buy a paintbrush so I can dust my soaps ...not!!!!!!!!!!
Mum's place is like a time warp..it hasnt changed in over 25 years...the beaded curtains in the hallway, the macrame pot hangers, the cow clock, the dolly vardin bed doll...and yes, the crocheted toilet roll doll...Emily's personal favourite....the donkey that belonged to my Dad....lift his tail and a cigarette dispenses from his bum...do it again, do it again!! I am afraid to say the whole town is a bit of a time warp...I had to go to the corner store to get some ham for lunch. " Could I please have six slices of ham for Yvonne sliced the way she like it...yes I will take her newspaper while I am here....yes , I can drop Maureens paper off on my way home, thats fine, no trouble...yes I will tell her you loved her fruitcake...sorry not sure if she has made your green tomato pickles yet" Yikes, no wonder she spends all day Fridays doing her shopping.
Our lunch was ham and green tomato pickle sandwiches and tea from a teapot all spread out nicely on the flannel backed plastic table cloth (which doesnt flutter or move as it is held in place with large tablecloth clips.)
After lunch we went to the loungeroom where Emily got to sit on a poof...you know those footstool things??? orange vinyl variety that looks as pristine as they day she bought it in 1970...apparently Mr Sheen keeps it's shiny appearance. A quick glance in the magazine rack revealed a magazine with the shock headline "Lady Di Killed in Auto Accident". Mum saw me looking at it and told me she is keeping it for one of the kids to have when she dies...(her youngest kid is 41) and that everything else is labelled....I divert this conversation as it has been discussed many times in the past and I already know who gets the china horse and who gets the cane bicycle planter (not me thank heavens).
I know you get older you get set in your ways and you become sentimetal but I can never imagine myself dusting my soaps or writing my kids names on band aids and sticking them on the bottom of my ornaments so there will be no bickering when I go to meet my maker...Having said that I am rather attached to the pot pourri hat that hangs on the wall in the bathroom....maybe it's time to let it go!

Footnote...I dont normally talk scrapping on my Blog but as some of you may be aware some people on aussielayouts are having a blast taking the mickey out of me...I am a good sport and have to admit the lengths they go to is rather funny..but if you happen to read anything about my fanclub its all BS started by Wendie and in no way my idea, I am so going to get her and a few others! (when I find out who they are!)