Well I sure did stand my ground with Ebony lol....The very next day I caved and got her much wanted guinea pig! I thought that maybe this time she really would be responsible if we got her a pet and so far so good. The cute little fellar at the top is Felix...I bought him the day I got the cage and all the expensive accessories....he is meek and mild, soft to touch and incredibly cute.....the next day we went looking for a playmate but after visiting four pet shops Homer was the only guinea pig available...in contrast he is big and mean and highly strung but Ebony took pity on him so of course he came home with us. I will be the first to admit that I am not really a creature person but these guys are pretty entertaining and Ebony (so far) is doing everything she should to care for them without being asked, so thats good. Now she is nagging me for a guinea pig lead so she can take them for walks....and I will buy one purely because that will make one hell of a scrapbook page! lol

I did the shopping today but Martin was disappointed because I didnt buy any cakes or desserts...I really wasnt in the mood for cooking but decided I would make some scones....I found a recipe that was just 3 ingredients...3 cups sr flour, cup cream, cup of lemonade....can't believe how good they turned out, the best scones ever!!! So if you want to make some just add the wet stuff to the flour, mix and knead and bake at 220 degrees for 10 to 15 minutes. Chuck on some jam and cream and you have everyone telling you what a good cook you are!

I normally have my big house clean on a Monday but since Martin was working all day today I decided to do a Sunday clean instead. My first annoyance was changing the sheets.....Because I am such a tight wad, I recently replaced the elastic in all my fitted sheets...unfortunately I have made the elastic a bit tight so I need four arms to get them onto the mattress....just when I think I have succeeded one of the corners decides to "ping" off which is very frustrating. After three beds my mood was black! Next horrible job was the main bathroom....don't you love how they clean their teeth and spit the toothpaste out but just leave the globs sitting in the bottom of the basin ....mixed with long hairs and caps off razors. The soap is always on the floor of the shower in a sloppy soggy state and the shower caddy is jammed with everything but the kitchen sink! In between I was running a chinese laundrey washing clothes that I had only just folded and put away the day before.....it seems that once you even try something on it has to go in the dirty washing basket....or heaven forbid you would have to fold it up and put it back in the drawer yourself. My next chore was cleaning out my kitchen drawers and cupboards... I threw away so many gadgets I never use that were just taking up space.... I had just finished doing this when Martin walked in with 2 big boxes of kitchen crap that his brother was going to put in a garage sale...he thought I might like them......they are going back tomorrow.

We had another escaped chook in the yard today so I had to call on Duane again....he thought he would be a smart alec and chase it right in my direction...you would be surpised at how fast I can run and how loud I can scream...Ebony came out to see what all the commotion was about and just about peed herself laughing until the chook headed for her and she ran into a closed door....needless to say Duane is in the bad books and when I made scones I failed to tell him until after they were all gone.

...and on a sweet note, Ebonys boyfriend bought her a present today...it was a packet of clay....she had been wanting some for ages...they made clay love hearts.....how romantic....or it was until Chris called Ebony diddums (she hates that) so she gave him a chinese burn and he went home....childish you may think???? Last night Martin bought me home a block of chocolate....we shared some then he said I shouldnt eat any more because my bum is big enough....I told him to get stuffed and he went to bed...Doctor Phil would have a field day analysing that!

Note to self: do not read back through old BLOG entries!!! I feel like such a failure, all this talk of losing weight and giving up smoking...I haven't done either of the above so let's just move on shall we?

Let's see where were we...ah yes, Joe and the broken leg....indeed it was broken, he did fall from a low branch of a tree and fell on a funny angle...he was flown back home to have the operation on the Gold Coast and had to wait 10 days before the swelling had gone down enough so they could perform the surgery...he will be in plaster until at least September...Haley is so thrilled...NOT! having someone else to look after...because you know what men are like, they really play on these things.

Jodie and Duane have shelved their plans to buy a house (um that's why they were staying here rent free to save lol) and instead will be leaving at the end of November for a 6 month working holiday in Canada. It is arranged through an Australian agency, they we be working at a Ski Resort somewhere...they are not doing for the money since they will only earn between 6 and 12 dollars an hour...it's rather more for the adventure aspect....Jodie doesn't want to do office admin (which is what she does here) and has applied for housekeeping or waitressing...love to be a fly on a wall, she is as clumsy as I am and has a benign tremor in her right hand (like me also) so carrying cups of coffee will be hilarious! Duane has applied to be a bellhop....lol...wonder how long it will before the glamour wears off and they get sick of being broke and not have mummy to cook for them and do their washing! I think its a great idea and told them they should get travel out of their system before they have kids...to which they replied in unison "we won't be having kids!" I believe them too!

Ebony has been in fine form for weeks now, and her little psycho outbursts have become even more dramatic...gotta love thirteen year old girls with attitude! Her latest drama was she didn't want to do HPE as a subject (sport) this term and carried on so much and made my life so hellish I wrote a letter to the school blabbing on about how much trouble she had been having with an on going virus and how I didn't think sport was such a good idea at this time...so they changed her subject to video gaming...an all boys class where they play and review computer games.....if I thought my life was hell when she had to do sport....well it got a whole lot worse when she was put into this class lol....she sux at computer games and all the boys were giving her curry so I had to send another letter saying how much her health had improved and maybe sport would be good for her...those teachers must think I am a dead set loony...the things you do to bring about a bit of peace. The fact that I am "gay", old fashioned, don't trust her, a loser and the meanest mother in the world didn't even come into play when she ws begging me to write that second letter!.....and I know what you are all thinking....I shouldn't give in to her bratty behaviour...you are so right....however you don't have to live with her rofl!

Should probably mention the photo of the cakes??No reason, just had a cooking day...I actually like cooking but I hate the fact it takes all day and all gets eaten in one afternoon... my lot are not shy when it comes to food!

We have new neighbours over the back fence and they have chooks...no worries.. I am terrified by chooks but we are separated by a fence so I could deal with it...until the other morning when I walked into the lounge room and there standing right before me with its beady little eyes looking straight at me...was a bloody chook...I nearly passed out, but realised I had to do something so I tried to shoo it out the door.....chooks can poo while they run...very effectively in fact so I ended up with chook poo and feathers all over the place till the stupid thing finally went out the door...then I had to ring Duane to come and catch it and put it back over the fence and plug up the hole where it had found its way into our yard...great! Now I live in fear everytime I go outside to hang out the washing.

As I have been typing this I have beem listening to Ebony asking her father if she can have a guinea pig tomorrow. The fact we don't have a cage didn't seem to register as she says she will put it in a washing basket... I could hear him weakening so I interjected and told her she can't have a guinea pig tomorrow we have no cage, end of story. She told me she will never learn responsibilty if she can't even have a pet......I struck below the belt and reminded her that at the start of the year her cat had been missing 10 weeks before she even realised it was gone..........I am back to being "gay" blah blah!

Is this just happening to me??? I already know all the people who have perfect children but is there anyone else out there who puts up with this kind of crap...please I am begging you come forward and cleanse your soul and make me feel better..lie if you have to!

Those little grandies of mine are sure growing up fast aren't they! Emily still comes for a sleepover at least once a week. Last time she was here I spotted her doing something naughty (I saw it in the reflection of the oven)...when I scolded her she was shocked how I knew so I told her I had eyes in the back of my head. This fascinated her so she tested me a few times to see if I knew what she was doing (and I did because I could see it in the reflection)...she stood there gobsmacked and then tried it out herself and sadly told me the eyes in the back of her head must be blind. I told her only Mum's and Nannys have eyes in the back of their heads lol. Gotta love gullible kids!

Six weeks ago I paid for a three month membership to the gym and I went for the first time yesterday..better late than never...for the first week I am supposed to do 5 minutes on the rowing machine, 10 minutes on the exercise bike, 5 minutes on the cross tainer and 10 minutes on the tread mill, then repeat.....My first day I did the rowing machime, exercise bike, the cross trainer hurt too much so I quit after one minute, did five minutes on the treadmill and decided to skip dpoing it all again...but today I felt guilty so I decided to go back and try harder....when I got the the Police Youth Club (where the gym is) the car park was chockers with police cars and there was a channel nine news crew at the door...I wasn't sure what to do , didn't know if I should enter then thought buggar it I will just walk in now....just as some important police union official was walking out and the camera crews were all scuffling for photos and here am I with my daggy trackies on water bottle in hand dodging microphones and flashes and cameras...lol, they must have edited me out because I wasn't on the news tonight. Damn, I missed my big chance to be famous!

I had to clean the salt cell on the pool the other day, it had been ages since I had done it and it was completely clogged with salt....made it nice and clean then screwed on the cap but unfortunately when I turned everything back on it was leaking like a sieve. I went to take the lid back off to check it out and the lid would not budge. I put on some rubber gloves so I could get a better grip but I still couldn't get the damn thing off. Asked Duane if he could get it off but nope, no luck...thinking it was buggared anyway I thought I would tap it with a hammer to see if I could loosen it...but still no luck. I called the pool shop and they said they would send someone over to look at replacing the whole salt cell thingy...The guy came and unscrewed it first go...so remember folks clockwise to do something up and anticlockwise to undo...it cost me thirty bucks to find that out!!!

Talk to you all again soon

I will enjoy this touching picture of my two sweet little grandies while it lasts because experience tells me in a few years time they will do nothing but fight with each other....
weight update...dont ask
I will try to catch up in no particular order. My sister-in -law Hazel flew over from Brunei this week for a brief visit....before she came she asked if her sister Linda and I could arrange to find a place to buy some wigs as the humidity in Brunei makes her hair frizzy (yeah I know!) and a hairdressers with a colour specialist...cost unimportant...We found a wig place on the Gold Coast close to where we live so that part was easy...choosing one was another story! Long and curly, short and hip, human or synthetic, hand stitched or machine stitched part, there were way too many options...In the end she couldn't decide between 2 so I told the sales assistant she would take both lol...and she did.
The hairdressers we chose for her took quite some research...all the ones I go to have "budget" somewhere in the title which just wouldnt have cut it on this occasion...pardon the pun..we finally settled on "Tony and Guys" which had a definate gay ring to it and the price list suggested first class. Linda and I were told to come back in an hour and a half which meant we had to amuse ourselves...with hardly any cash...boring!! after several cappacinos and a quick wander around some very classy clothes shops that were definately not us we went to get Hazel only to be told she would be another 2 hours ...Holy Crap we should have just taken her to Supercuts! So like a couple of street urchins we killed the next couple of hours with more coffee and some scratchy tickets freezing our bums off. When Hazel finally emerged her hair did look rather nice but when she said it cost $340 dollars for a trim and colour I almost passed out. For that much money I could outfit myself with an entire wardrobe of clothes...guess that means I am cheap and nasty lol. I would never make a successful posh person I'm afraid!
Went back to the doctor for the first lot of test results...They handed me my chest xrays when I got to reception and the whole time I was waiting to see the doc I was shaking like a leaf as there was some illegible red writing on the front which I was convinced was serious as I had spent the last fortnight convinced I have lung cancer (would explain the back pain and awful cough) ...turns out my lungs are fine and the abdominal ultrasound was also clear. Then came the blood test results...seems I am in the beginning stages of menopause...I kind of guessed that...and in his words...I am a heart attack waiting to happen....my cholesterol is terrible and my blood pressure was even worse than my last visit...he told me that I needed to stop stressing over things so much as it affects my blood pressure...I told him fine, I will deliver my tax bill (due last week) to him and let him deal with it...I would also drop off my 13 year old while I was at it...so now I have to start on Zyban next week in the lead up to giving up smoking and he wants me to join a gym to assist me in losing weight and lowering my cholesterol...hopefully also reducing my stress and improving my posture which is causing my back ache....all this news just proved my theory that you should never go to the doctor...I only went because I was getting headaches and now all of a sudden I am a stressed out wreck! Could I also add that when I got home Martin asked how I went and when I told him he started ranting about how "told you you shouldnt worry blah blah, those bloody cigarettes blah blah, you dont exercise enough blah blah, if I had a stress meter on my forehead it would have popped!
So this brings me to the following question....how the bloody hell do you reduce stress when
1. Your tax bill is overdue and you dont have a hope in hell of paying it in the near future (too late for planning ahead so dont tell me that lol)
2. your teenage daughter comes to you at 10 o'clock on Sunday evening and informs you she has an assignment due the next day and she hasn't even started it yet
3. you are trying to cook three different meals at tea time because no one likes the same things
4. The phone is ringing, someone is at the door, something is boiling over on the stove and you are trying to attend to all three things because SOMEONE is watching the football
5. You accidently throw a red sock in with a load of white school shirts
6. Your husband rings to ask if you remembered to pay his Public Liability Insurance and you lie and say "Yes of course"......and then he says good....can you fax the receipt to these five builders (yikes)
7. You are driving along and start freaking out because the temperature gauge is way up so you do an emergency lane change to pull over...then you realise you are looking at the fuel gauge
8. Your teenager needs new winter clothes (probably THE most stressful thing I endure is shopping with Ebony)
9. You realise that by this time next week you will be giving up smoking
10. You go to someones Blog and have to do word verification after you leave a comment (I have never done this successfully first attempt!)

Haley rang this morning to say Joe has broken his foot at work....we were imagining all the scenarios that could have lead up to this... falling down a mine shaft....a drilling rig trapping his foot....turns out he was sent to Broome to pick up a machinery part and while he was there he fell out of a tree????????????? Not sure if workers comp will cover this! He flies home tonight has to go straight to a hospital for surgery..while he is here we may just have to ask what the hell he was doing up in a tree in the first place lol.

Martin came home from Bunnings last weekend with a garden shed...UNASSEMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!! Invited over his brother and brother- in - law to set it up...Crikey what a fiasco!!! As they were putting it together it became apparent that it was WAYYYY bigger than he thought, we only wanted something to put the lawn mower and pool cleaning stuff in....we have ended out with something large enough to rent out...it is sitting on a quirky angle up near the back fence waiting for a concrete slab...which I am almost certain you are meant to do first....but what would I know....my favourite part is the door which has all the support brackets on the outside instead of the inside....again what would I know....so $600 for a shed, $50 for two cartons of beer which was the payment to his off- siders, $50 for meat for a barbecue because they were very hungry after a full day of assembly and $25 dollars for drill bits to replace the ones Martin threw away in a fit of frustration...and the mower and pool stuff is still out in the weather because we have to wait till the shed has a floor...Lord have mercy!
See you all next week!

I have just realised that on shopping day I throw away as much food as I put away…a lettuce seems to be a stock standard item I seem to buy every week, but apart from a couple of leaves the rest of it ends up getting tossed along with the half tomatoes, containers of milk with just a bit left in the bottom and several bread packets with a few slices left in each. If I had chooks they would be in their element…however chooks scare me to death so that isn’t an option. My kids laugh at the way I shop…Haley calls me a turbo shopper, I just zoom along tossing things in…there is no point taking my time as my lot are very set in their ways so brand switching is out…only Heinz baked Beans, Cottonelle toilet paper, Cashmere Bouquet soap….I have on occasion tried to be daring and try new brands but they veto them so the next week I have to buy their favourites again…. I am just as bad really as the other day Jodie pointed out I have a thing for lavender…never realised it before but I buy lavender soap powder, lavender soap, lavender dishwashing liquid….I always thought lavender was an old lady thing so I guess I am officially a lavender loving old lady…it could be worse, I could go for Lilly of the valley
Ebony had her boyfriend over for tea tonight…a bit of a spur of the moment thing…we had sausages and steak done on the barbeque, potato bake, baked pumpkin, savoury bread and corn….I think it was a bit of a culture shock for him, they are obviously more civilised at his house…as soon as the food hit the table everyone dove in Simpson style, digging spoons into the potato bake and dropping corn all over the table, you would swear they had never been fed!! It didn’t take him long to work out that if he didn’t hurry up he would miss out! While I was setting the table I realised I need to buy some household items….we are drinking out of glasses (that used to be filled with jam and Nutella) with Disney pictures on them… not very classy….nor are the mismatched dinner plates, survivors of three different dinner sets…and I don’t own a table cloth (used it for a drop sheet when I painted Ebony’s room)…Home decor obviously doesn’t rate very highly on my list of must haves? I think its just a case of when you live with something every day you stop taking notice…much like Martins favourite recliner chair…it is 12 years old and has a big rip in the arm and all the leather is worn where his legs go and has the most annoying squeak! I mentioned to Martin the other night that we really should buy a new lounge suite and he replied that I have a few cracks in my face and showing signs of wear but he doesn’t think of replacing me (and he thought that was a compliment lol). I had so many smart come backs in my head but I didn’t bother wasting my wit on him.
On the diet front my weight stayed the same..I am so lazy, I hate exercise so its my own fault...I have also been sneaking in a few biscuits with my coffee, so not kosher..
Just for something a bit different I thought I would start a little quiz and tag someone
Name three things that scare you. Chooks, electricity bills and 13 year olds with PMS
The daggiest thing in your music collection. Hits of the 70’s (which I Love!)
Your three favourite clothing items. My pink flannelette pj’s, my blue flannelette pj’s and my penguin pj’s
Your partners most annoying habit. I have so many to choose from but probably that he doesn’t look in the mirror before he makes smart comments about me
What stresses you out. Shopping with teenagers, trying to send faxes, driving, cooking more than three things at once, loud music or tv’s, doing letter verification on blogs, standing on bathroom scales, soduku puzzles.
If I could change the world I would……………..put dimmer switches in changing rooms, invent carpet that self cleans, make chocolate a part of the healthy food pyramid, include a mute button on teenagers (and husbands) outlaw any exercise that caused working up a sweat
7 Your favourite household chore…. Ha!!! Funny!
8 If you had fifty bucks to spend at Target which section would you head straight for…. Toys…though I should probably go to the homewares section
9 In my next life I would like to come back as …..a size 10
10 Your least favourite celebrity…Paris Hilton…I so wish I was Bea Smith right now (if you are under 40 you probably wont get that one lol)
ok I tag Debbie Y and Tess

Check out my Slide Show!

What a wonderful time Emily had at her 4th birthday party. I have been to Hungry Jacks parties before and was never overly impressed but this one was lovely...guess it depends which one you go to...the party room was a flurry of pink with fairy placemats, party bags and party favours and the little girls all looked gorgeous in their fairy outfits. (One lone boy didn't seem very pleased lol). This is the fairy outfit Emily chose for her birthday...when she saw it in Toys R Us she said "Nanny, this is the one!" We were actually there to buy a sandpit but I couldn't resist that look on her face so of course i had to buy it too ....among other things.
The party bags were a big hit, and at the end there were some left over which were literally snatched up (by the mums lol)
Emily has already been for a sleepover with her new Barbie pull along suitcase...knock knock on the door and a little voice calling "Nanny, I'm baaaack!' lol. She packed books , games and money but no clothes!
That's all for now, I just had a few people asking how the party went, I will "see " you all again on Friday!

I forgot to check in last week as I was away at swig but my weight last Friday was 72 kilos...a .6 loss...but...I obviously ate too much while I was away and put on a kilo over the weekend...I tried to make up for it this week and weighed in at 72.2 this morning so I can live with that, it's a minor set back.
Miss Emily turns 4 tomorrow and is having a fairy party at Hungry Jacks..It's a little easier for Haley as Ella has been sick and she wouldn't have had time to organize things...I was miffed as it meant I wasn't needed for mouse cakes duties....one of my fave jobs, I have been making those little patty cakes for the kids birthdays for years...Haley softened the blow by putting me in charge of lolly bags...Jodie and I had a working bee the other night making Fairy shoe party bags (they are actually baby shoes but Emily won't notice lol) They are made from Bazzill bling cardstock and I have to say they look pretty darn cute though after making 20 I was over it!
I went shopping with her for her birthday present the other day and I got her a sandpit and sand toys, a new fairy costume, a rolling suit case for when she comes for sleepovers (that was her idea lol, I made sure it was only big enough for an overnight stay) and some Dora toy...then Ebony reminded me I had a set of books and a really cute bag and purse up in my wardrobe...I really must stop stashing things in there, I forget about them.
I came home from my weekend expecting the worst but the house wasn't too bad, I think Jodie must have been on their case. I had to have a chuckle at Martin though when he told me he washed his own work clothes like it was some major drama...I pointed out I had done all the washing before I left and since he only worked on Saturday it was only one set of dirty clothes but he was determined to let me know I inconvenienced him...care factor zero!!! Eb had been shopping with Daddy Dearest while I was away and scored some new jeans, tops and a dress...boy she has him wrapped around her little finger!!
Today I cleaned out the fridge as it had developed a disgusting odour...not the nicest job is it....I wish you could buy half tomatoes as we seem to only use half and then put the other half in the fridge and leave it till its all shrivelled up. The crisper was the offending location, I found a cucumber that had turned to liquid which was causing the stench although the mouldy pumpkin didn't smell like roses, I must say...I found some mayonnaise that expired last year and a container of something I wasn't game to open so it went in the bin tupperware and all! Seems my house keeping skills are slipping, my mother would have been in her glory armed with the spray n wipe and a chux cloth.
I went into Ebonys room today and all her Beanie Kids had been dumped unceremoniously into a plastic bag and taking pride of place on the shelf were her dirty orange gym boots...what the??? When I questioned her she said it looked cool....so tomorrow I am getting rid of the ornaments on my bookcase and I am going to hang my undies there...I wonder if that will look cool? I can't keep up with what's cool these days...it seems Ebony spends hours straightening her hair then does some messy crooked hanging out pony tail thing...and that's cool....then she takes a perfectly good school folder and scribbles all over it with nikko pen and white out..and that's cool....as is skinny leg jeans that are too long so the hems go right under you feet.....it is not cool however to walk next to your mother when you go shopping...a few paces ahead or behind is the rule...also on the not cool list is getting a call on your mobile from your mum while you are on the school bus... I have been warned repeatedly about that one... Have to admit cool rules were around when I was her age, they were just a little different...like wearing jeans so tight you almost ruptured your spleen when you tried to sit, or writing Hush and AC/DC all over your school bag or better yet wearing knitted bikinis with your body lathered in coconut oil...no wonder I am so wrinkly now.
And speaking of bikinis I almost wet myself at swig when the lovely Anna was talking about the day she walked past a beauty salon with her daughter and commented that she wouldn't mind having a Brazillian wax...her daughter asked if she knew what it was and was a little shocked to learn it had nothing to do with the hair on your upper lip! How would you feel if you rocked up and asked for a brazillian and the therapist asked you to lie down and spread em...and you gave them a big smile...lol
On that note....

Happy Mother's Day everyone, I hope you all enjoyed your special day, I know I sure did! My day started with a Mc Donalds breakfast which Jodie brought home for me...a deli bacon and egg roll and cappucino...very yum but I had to skip lunch as those suckers are loaded with calories...I was starving by tea time. I was spoilt this year and got new pajamas, new dresses and shoes, a step machine and Eb got me a tiny little gold heart on a chain that says Mum. My sil was down for the day so we went to one of the big shopping centres for some retail therapy....I just had to get a new cordless phone as our old one died and its hell without it...the phone rings up to twenty times a night between 5 pm and 8 pm...all the calls for Eb.....she has had to slum it and talk on the wall phone in the kitchen which is a drama in itself...she has to whisper so we can't hear and she shoots me a dirty look every time I walk into the kitchen like I have just ruined the party...so today I got a nice new cordless with two handsets so I can leave one in her room so she doesnt ever have to leave the "cave" except for food or toilet...it works for both of us!

Lost 1 kilo this week bringing my weight to 72.6...boy it was hard this week, we had Martins birthday and two nights over the weekend with takeaway....while they scoffed their pizza and KFC I made myself proper low fat meals and passed on the mud cake which just about killed me, it would be so much easier if it were fashionable to be "slightly rounded".

Martin had a fantastic birthday on Wednesday. Jodie and Duane got him new runners...He was thrilled to bits as his existing ones are older than Ebony! New clothes and socks and jocks, but the present he was most excited about came from his brother and sister..they got him a gift voucher to drive 5 laps in a v8 supercar at Willowbank raceway over the June long weekend...he carried on like a little kid, I have never ever seen him that excited...and to think I tried to talk them out of it as I didn't think he would take a day off to do it! I cant wait til its over as every time we go somewhere in the car he practices maintaining constant speed around sweeping curves...I shit myself (more than ever) now every time we go out...

Jodies boyfriend works at Melba's Nightclub here on the Gold Coast, a job he started just a few weeks ago...every afternoon we get his excited run down on his previous nights work, how he had to have his photo taken with a group of bikini girls, how he met someone famous..blah blah...but on Saturday he was very quiet..when I asked how work went he blurted out"do I look gay to you??" Apparently he was having a good old natter with some bloke until he realised he was being chatted up rofl! Martin is having a field day with that one..

In an effort to make exercise a little more interesting I bought myself a hula hoop this week. I suck at it big time but every afternoon, I go out the back to give it my best shot...nothing wrong with that...the other day I hear Ebony and 3 of her friends in hysterics in her room...when I go to see what's going on I got the shock of my life...Eb had secretly filmed one of my hula sessions and put it on her "my space" set to the music of "I like to move it move it". I look like a whale trying to jump through a hoop, it is truly one of the most embarrassing things I have seen...I have asked her to take it off but she won't...that's ok I will wait till she wants to go somewhere and the ball will be back in my court...exercise is one of my pitfalls I hate everything about it...Jodie loaned me her pilates dvd's and I was really keen ......for about 60 seconds....I don't know what happened to my flexiness but I can't lay on my back with my legs raised AND lift my head off the floor....not even for a few seconds....the skipping rope I bought is now in Emily's toybox as I discovered I pee when I skip and after nearly knocking myself out with my hand weights, they too have been retired....so this new stepper will be interesting I know the idea is to try and do it for half an hour but I do a half dozen steps and my legs ache so I quit....and unfortunately you don't burn many calories lying on the couch watching Dr Phil...bummer!

Emily turns 4 in a few weeks and this year Haley decided on a party at Hungry Jacks as Emily has been to a few and like the idea...I was shattered at first because it meant I won't be needed for mouse cakes or M &M slice but then Haley softened the blow by telling me I am in charge of party bags...woohoo, I am thinking of doing fairy slippers..Stay tuned for that one!! (meaning I have no clue how to do that just yet!)

Well thats about it for this weeks check in, catch you all in 7 days

Go on ask me how I went with the diet! I fair dinkum didn't cheat once this week and I'm happy to say I lost 2.4 kilos so I am now 73.6...and bloody Martin has blitzed it on the Tony Furguson diet going from 85 kilos to 79.6 ...over 5 kilos!! I had to burst his bubble a bit and warn him that when he starts eating normal food again he wont lose anywhere near that much. I have to begrudgingly admit he deserves the success he has stuck to the plan like glue. I try to eat the same as him for tea but tonight it was some steamed fish in a pouch bizzo and I was dry reaching as it was cooking.....I bailed out and had something different. As you can see my roller blading technique hasn't improved, it takes a split second to fall and five minutes to get up again...also love the arm action at least they get a good work out lol.

I have just suffered yet another embarrassing moment..Eb asked me to take her to the video shop so I changed out of my pj's into a pair of jeans that were lying on my bedroom floor. While we were standing in the shop I felt something on my foot and thinking it was a bug, flicked my leg....it was a pair of undies that must have been in the leg of my jeans...of course it couldnt happen in an empty shop, it was jammed packed...I got looks varying from sympathy to a smartarse grin on one teenage boys face...I felt like grabbing the undies and rubbing that smirk clean off his face! This has happened to me before, you should always check the legs of your jeans before you put them on

Went shopping the other day to get Martins birthday present (it's next Wednesday) He is so hard to buy for, all he likes is t-shirts and shorts, he has no hobbies aside from watching telly ..and chocolates are out this year because of his diet....so shorts and shirts was what I got...but while I was in Big W....which in my opinion is the BEST shop I saw two dresses I liked so I rang Jodie and asked if she would like to buy me a dress for Mothers Day which she jumped at....and the other one...well that can be from Martin...my expensive taste astounds me, they were 24.95 each!! lol

Eb was with me and was horrified at my choices and said they looked like mu mu's and begged me not to get them.....hello!!!! I can't exactly get around in skinny leg jeans and crop tops! (Well I could put I would need to pass out buckets). Eb bought herself another eyeliner...what is it with teenage girls and eyeliner??? I could put my foot down and tell her she isn't allowed to wear makeup but as we all know that would immediately put me in the "so gay" bracket and also the "you just don't get it" bracket as well, so I will save my battles for more important issues like body piercings. It was lunchtime by the time we had finished so we went to the food court to grab a bite...Eb had Maccas and I wandered from kiosk to kiosk and couldn't find a single thing that even looked remotely low fat..so I had to sit around dozens of people scoffing their faces while I drank a diet coke...while I was there I observed how many people have a g string hanging out when they sit down....I mean half way up their backs.... for blokes it's bum cracks, I don't know what's worse! Do you do that.??..observe people while you are sitting around??...I can't believe how many people pull out wedgies or scratch their bums or worse still drop a fart while they are walking around and don't give it a second thought...I save all that stuff for the privacy of my own home. It's the same when you are sitting in your car in traffic and you see the person in the car ahead of you looking for treasure in their noses...having a real good dig around without even checking to see if anyone is looking...

My personal favourite is the toff nosed ladies in high heels that check out their reflections in the shop windows as they walk past...when I catch my reflection I think, god who's that fat chick lol

We have had our fair share of bickering over homework and assignments this week ..so damn stressful! Ebony is hopeless at organising herself and leaves everything till the last minute then starts bitching and carrying on...thank god for the internet, when I was a kid you had to look it up in the encyclopedia...and ours were so old a lot of world events hadn't even happened yet....wouldn't you be spewing if you were an encyplopedia salesman now....it all fits on a compact disc lol

That's it folks, I did warn I wouldnt have much news if I updated weekly!! I will try for some sort of disaster for next week I promise!

I am under pressure now that Jackie has challenged me to update weekly!!! If I can't come up with some news I will just have to lie!!
Well as you can see, Miss Ella is now on the move however her technique is rather odd lol. Up on the palm of her hands, bum held high and doing a serious split manoevre she then takes a lunge forward planting her face into the carpet, then does it all again to caterpillar all over the place...it might look a bit strange but she can do it with alarming speed. Emily gets really miffed all the time because Ella gets into her space wrecking her games, grabbing her dolls and all sorts of other mischief...Sibling rivalry has begun...
This week Martin and I both came to the realisation that we need to lose weight. I found a website that works out your BMI and did a calculation on us both...martin came up as obese and was most indignant so I added some centimetres to his height so he could be overweight instead..I too came up as overweight (using my real height, I am not a sook like him). He has started the Tony Furguson diet which is run through Terry White chemists, replacing 2 meals a day with a protein shake and an evening meal...he cant have bread, rice, pasta or biscuits ...no worries he says I love vegies...um cant have potato, pumpkin, peas or corn...what else is there??? Was thrilled to know he could still have a beer....but only if he sacrifices his fruit allowance of the day (which doesn't include his favourite fruits of rockmelon and watermelon!) Good luck to him, I had to be realistic and admit I would never in a million years stick to that so I am just doing a healthy eating plan that does include my favourites....I couldnt survive a day without bread!! I will be brave and let you all know my starting weight of 76 kilos, I need to lose 10 kilos to be at the top of my healthy weight range...please ask me every week how I am doing so I will shame myself into not failing (again!) I also bought one one those huge exercise balls and some hand weights...I dont care how wide your bum is , it is next to impossible to try and balance on one of those things, while trying to lift weights...funniest home video would have a field day here while I am trying to do my stuff!! Martin also has to lose 10 kilos and unfortunately has way more will power than me so it will be interesting to see how we go...The first test came for me tonight when Ebony had a dagwood dog and chips for tea while I had a half a tin of vegetable soup (which looked very much like diahorrea in a toilet bowl...yuk!) I almost snuck into the kitchen to lick the paper Ebs tea had been wrapped in but I held back...only just!
I spent the afternoon at the doctors as I have been suffering from dreadful headaches...I had a coughing fit as soon as I entered his office which straight away earned me a piece of paper to take for a chest xray and a huge lecture on smoking and lung cancer...not even what I was there for...he then gave me a menopause questionnaire to fill out where I had to put a number between 0 and 3 next to each question...He told me that a score of over 15 was a concern...........I scored 52...(the highest I have ever scored on a test lol) so I have to go for blood tests yada yada as well as an abdominal ultrasound as he thinks there is a problen with my gall bladder...and then a colonoscopy because my brother had bowel cancer at forty...and at the same time I am having a colonoscopy I am also to have a ...whatever you call that scope they put down your throat and into your stomach....oh and a mamogram and pap smear....how much does that suck!!! go in for a headache and I come out like an old fart (no offence to any old farts out here).
Other news???
1.Eb is still going out with her skater boyfriend...its been weeks...I obviously didnt scare him off last time I did his hair as he is coming in the morning to have his roots redone.
2. Jodie has finally got all her test results back...the doctor was very concerned she has lost 5 kilos over the last few months...she now weighs 42 kilos...thyroid and all other tests normal.....verdict...she is naturally thin....( dont you hate people like that!!!! She eats like a horse!)
3. My bathroom is still waiting to have the vanity doors put on...I might as well do it my bloody self! cept I would have to use a drill and that could get ugly!
4. I burnt my lip on a piece of tomato out of my toasted sandwich...while I was carrying on trying to get it off my lip the rest of the tomato went down the front of my top...while I was carrying on trying to get the tomato off my chest I knocked over my can of pepsi max on my BAS statement and all through my keyboard...lesson in there for you all
5. Drove up to visit Mum on Anzac Day...Came home with 12 bottles of green tomato pickles and a shirt she got me from the op shop...in her eyes I am still thin because the top was a size 8 and the ugliest little number I think I have ever seen in my entire life...thank God it's too small
6. Haley rang to tell me Ella can wave bye byes and then said to Ella "show Nanny how you wave bye byes" duh don't know which side of the family she inherited her brains from...ok so it was me lol
7. I have learnt that I can't do a soduku...Jodie and I have started to do the Thats Life puzzles and I cant for the life of me do the stupid soduku...To add insult to injury in the blurb of the puzzle it states its a game of common sense...I waited till Jodie went to bed and copied the answer from her magazine....
I don't have an 8, 9 or 10
see you next Friday and dont forget to ask me how I am doing with my "lifestyle change" (you know the stinkin diet!)

Happy Easter everyone!!! I have been very slack and haven't updated for yonks, however because of the very mundane life I lead you haven't missed much. We have recently renovated one of our bathrooms. The house is twenty years old so the bathroom was looking very sad indeed...tiles falling off, grout permantly scarred with mould, a vanity that left droppings of chipboard every time you opened or closed the doors, well past its use by date. I had visions of a pristine white bathroom, the sort you see in decorator magazines, however our budget didn't allow for that kind of luxury, we got instead an elcheapo version. Martin says it looks like a block of public toilets lol. When you watch those make over shows it all looks so easy, they must edit out all the crap that goes on behind the scenes...When I didn't want the tiles to come off they would fall like a deck of cards whenever you had a shower....but when I was trying to remove them for the renovation they didn't want to come off at all. Armed with a chisel and hammer I sat for days removing them, so pleased when I had finally finished only to be told by darling husband that the thick black glue also had to be scraped from the walls-that took another couple of days. It was all down hill after that, our plans of doing everything ourselves went out the window because of plumbing and drainage problems so we were over budget by a country mile after paying tradesmen to fix everything up we ended up paying a tiler as well because Martin just doesnt have enough time after working 14 hour days. I am also not very good with colours either as my white tiles turned out to be cream. Never mind its clean and new and doesnt leak, even if it is a bit ugly lol
Haley and the girls are sleeping over tonight as Joe is back at the mines and they thought Easter Bunny at our place would be more fun....we have just finished doing the traditional stencilled bunny footprints, wonder what Emily will think of it this year...Last year she asked her Mum why there was baby powder all over the floor...Haley told her it was storm dust that Easter Bunny had walked in, all through the house..Emily replied....Oh yes, storm dust....but it smells very much like baby powder!
Eb has just returned home from a date with her boyfriend...they went to Sizzler with his Mum and little sister...too cute. Chris is a skater boy (not a surfy, get it right). Last week I had to blonde his hair as his Mum had never done it before and asked if I would do it for him...three girls in the house I can do it with my eyes closed...the good thing with boys is they dont carry on if it goes a bit orange...ok a LOT orange rofl
I have extra house guests again....Haley had no sooner moved all of her crap out of our garage when Jodie asked if she and Duane could move in there for four months till they buy a house...12 years we have lived here and we have never once been able to park our car in that garage ! Martin cannot for the life of him pronounce Duanes name...not sure if its his Scottish accent but it comes out duh -wayne with a real dopey sound to it. They have also brought along their cat, which just to be confusing is called dog .
Other news in brief
*Ella is nearly six months old and worms around on the floor like a caterpiller getting into all sorts of mischief
* Ebony got a "much better than ususal" report card which ungrounded her this weekend
* I have finally thrown away the sample sized bottle of lux shower gel which for three days running I confused with the colgate bottled toothpaste
* I have Easter Eggs coming out of my ears after discovering the hidden stash of eggs in my wardrobe I had forgotten I had bought weeks ago, so everyone gets double
* Emily says Pop is no longer on her team after a backyard game of soccer resulted in her getting a ball in the chest...she says she will never play soccer with him again....Pop is pleased

And to finish off, a rather gross tale....Martin like many poor tradesmen who work outside in the stinking heat, suffers from heat rashy groin....(you know if someone suffers from this just by the way they walk) My mother told him if you used an antiperspirant roll on in this area it alleviates the problem. I didn't give this a second thought until I was going shopping
Martin: Dont forget to get me some deoderant while you are out
Bev: I bought you a tin of Brut spray last week
Martin: No not spray, roll on
Bev: You don't use roll on
Martin : Yes I do, I have been using yours
So very nice of him to tell me he had been using my Dove for weeks....eeeeww!

Yesterday when the phone rang I thought it was someone playing a practical joke on me and I was not only rude but used swear words as well....so of course when I found out it was a charity I felt it only proper I should purchase the rather expensive steak knives that were on offer. The phone and I have a real love hate relationship...it's always lovely when it's a call from someone you like but most times it's from someone I would rather not hear from... I love to be able to support charities but there are so many now I can't support them all and there is nothing worse than saying no to somebody...unless it's one of those dreaded negative gearing mortgage set ups, time share, opposing phone companies or purified water salesmen.... It's gotten to the stage where I get butterflies in my stomach every time the phone rings.
I love listening to Martin talking on the phone, its like he is talking into one of those tin cans and string get ups you used to make when you were a kid...he yells as if that's the only way they can hear him...Ebony uses the no hands method strutting around the house with the cordless phone tucked into the crook of her neck talking to friends she was just on the bus with five minutes ago. I also am intrigued when the phone rings how we all sit there waiting for someone else to answer it...we all make a half hearted attempt to look as if you are about to get up but no one actually does until its too late and the caller gives up. Because Martin goes to bed so early, if we get any calls after 6 pm he always says...'Who the hell would be ringing at this time of night" lol. My absolute pet peeve is the automated responses you get when you ring a business...if your enquiry is regarding blah blah press 1...if your call is regarding blah blah press 2.... I can never take it all in and forget which option I am after and have to go back to the main menu and listen to it all again. Just today I had to call Austar regarding our pay tv account....voice responses this time...even worse.
"Please state what your enquiry is regarding"
"bill enquiry"
"bill enquiry, is this correct?"
"yes"
"Are you after current balance, bill payment or other"
"other"
"I'm sorry, was that other?"
"Yes"
"please wait while we put you through to a customer service officer"
****interlude of other fabulous austar packages available ****(this goes on for a good five minutes!)
ring ring , ring ring, ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.....
" I'm sorry but we are currently experiencing heavier than normal phone traffic, please call again later"
Doesn't that just really pi** you off!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually doesn't the phone bill pi** you off even more...Anyone with a teenager in the house will know the shock of opening up a phone bill and seeing the monthly total...enough to feed a third world nation for a few weeks! Add to that the rates, the car rego, electricity bill and before you know it you are eating sausages and mince for weeks on end.
Anyway, enough of the whinging, this week we have had lots of lovely rain and with that the grass has gone green and grown much faster than usual...guess that means I will be mowing some time this week..Its a job I really love but it always comes with its trials and tribulations...Like how you are supposed to get that petrol into the tiny hole in the petrol tank....funnel I hear you say...keep forgetting to buy one of those.....so instead half of it ends up on the driveway (note to self, don't light cigarette). Then I have to remember if the lever on the handle is meant to be up or down when you pull the cord.....after twenty pulls you realise its obviously meant to be up....but by then you are so knackered you have to rest for 10 minutes before you try again...then its a matter of avoiding obstacles like clothes pegs, screwdrivers and my personal favourite, the neighbours dog's crap...if they are old and white it isn't an issue, it just goes up like a puff of smoke....but if you happen to hit a fresh one it gets REALLY ugly. Our front yard is a rather steep hill so going down is a breeze but pushing the mower back up is another matter entirely....you can feel it starting to slip backwards and all you can think of is how you would manage minus your feet. I hope I never find out!
Speaking of missing limbs lol, when Martins brother was in his twenties he lost his arm in a motorbike accident (30 years ago now) When he buys shirts or jumpers he cuts off one sleeve and sews up the opening. Last time we visited Victoria, Gordon gave Martin a bag full of jumpers and shirts. When Martin asked what the hell he was supposed to do with them, Gordon got quite shitty and said "well if you are going to be ungrateful I will give them to the op shop!" (not sure if they get much call for one armed jumpers either rofl)
As usual I have waffled on about nothing in particular once again, so until next time..

Today, Martin and I drove to Toogoolawah to visit Mum and we took Haley and the girls as she has yet to meet Ella. Before we came home I asked Martin to take a photo of us as its four generations and would have made a great keepsake....that is if Haley and Emily hadn't pulled one of their stupid faces and my mother could have resisted the old bunny ears behind the head routine!
Haley hasnt been in Grandmas house since she was a little girl...on the way she said "I wonder if Grandma still has that old yellow rabbit on her bed and the bear soaps in the bathroom?" Yep!!!! 18 years and that yellow rabbit is still on the bed and the soaps are still in the soap dish...it got the better of me and I had to ask....mum those soaps are at least 20 years old, why do they still look new?....what a ridiculous question! She uses a little paint brush to dust them each week...of course!!! Note to self, buy a paintbrush so I can dust my soaps ...not!!!!!!!!!!
Mum's place is like a time warp..it hasnt changed in over 25 years...the beaded curtains in the hallway, the macrame pot hangers, the cow clock, the dolly vardin bed doll...and yes, the crocheted toilet roll doll...Emily's personal favourite....the donkey that belonged to my Dad....lift his tail and a cigarette dispenses from his bum...do it again, do it again!! I am afraid to say the whole town is a bit of a time warp...I had to go to the corner store to get some ham for lunch. " Could I please have six slices of ham for Yvonne sliced the way she like it...yes I will take her newspaper while I am here....yes , I can drop Maureens paper off on my way home, thats fine, no trouble...yes I will tell her you loved her fruitcake...sorry not sure if she has made your green tomato pickles yet" Yikes, no wonder she spends all day Fridays doing her shopping.
Our lunch was ham and green tomato pickle sandwiches and tea from a teapot all spread out nicely on the flannel backed plastic table cloth (which doesnt flutter or move as it is held in place with large tablecloth clips.)
After lunch we went to the loungeroom where Emily got to sit on a poof...you know those footstool things??? orange vinyl variety that looks as pristine as they day she bought it in 1970...apparently Mr Sheen keeps it's shiny appearance. A quick glance in the magazine rack revealed a magazine with the shock headline "Lady Di Killed in Auto Accident". Mum saw me looking at it and told me she is keeping it for one of the kids to have when she dies...(her youngest kid is 41) and that everything else is labelled....I divert this conversation as it has been discussed many times in the past and I already know who gets the china horse and who gets the cane bicycle planter (not me thank heavens).
I know you get older you get set in your ways and you become sentimetal but I can never imagine myself dusting my soaps or writing my kids names on band aids and sticking them on the bottom of my ornaments so there will be no bickering when I go to meet my maker...Having said that I am rather attached to the pot pourri hat that hangs on the wall in the bathroom....maybe it's time to let it go!

Footnote...I dont normally talk scrapping on my Blog but as some of you may be aware some people on aussielayouts are having a blast taking the mickey out of me...I am a good sport and have to admit the lengths they go to is rather funny..but if you happen to read anything about my fanclub its all BS started by Wendie and in no way my idea, I am so going to get her and a few others! (when I find out who they are!)

Lol, I think Miss Emily thinks she is it and a bit in her new bikinis I bought for her.Ella on the other hand has a fuller figure and chooses to dress in a more modest manner like Nanny! The girls come to visit several times a week to cool off in the pool. Ella is never overly excited when she takes a dip but Em gets right into it and takes Ken and Barbie for a bit of a splash as well...all good fun.
Well Eb is back at school, year 9 this year, where has the time gone? I forgot to order the stationery pack from the school so in the last week of the holidays we went to Office Works. Don't know about you but that place really tickles my fancy, I wander around in a euphoric daze amid all those fancy pens and papers. Our shopping trip ended up costing more than double the price of the school pack, but I take most of the bame....why would you buy a black scientific calculator for $14.95 when you can have a funky hot pink one for $29.95??? And did you know you can get lime green USB sticks???? My God well worth the extra 10 bucks. Eb just wrote her name on the front of the books and that was it....she just doesn't know what she is missing out on covering them like we did in the dark ages when I went to school...no trendy contact back then...it was plain brown paper with a label from the special back to school issue of the Womans Weekly and then plastic over the top....I tell you those Womans Weekly school book labels used to cause all out war at our place...Me being the eldest of the kids at school assumed I should be entitled to all the cool ones...you know, the ones with the pop stars like ABBA and Bay City Rollers...I figured my younger brother and sister could have all the cutesy cat and dog ones...but no, Mum would cut them all out and we would take turns pulling one out of a hat...that sucked and I was the one that usually ended up with the crap ones...from there it moved onto stage two where we would barter among ourselves trading until we were happy ...it helped that the other two were young and stupid and didn't realise they were being duped....suckers!
Shopping for school shoes was fairly painless this year, I knew before I went she would hate the fifty dollar ones and would love the ninety dollar ones so they were the ones we got. One pair of shoes lasts her all year so it's not so bad...The school bag was rather amusing...in previous years it was big name surf brand but this year she chose a Spiderman back pack with detachable lunch box for under 20 bucks...I told her she would get teased but when I dropped her off at the bus stop one friend had a Dora the Explorer and the other had Barbie? It's apparently cool to be juvy whatever that means.
During the holidays Eb and her friend went to a movie marathon which started at 11 pm and finished at 5 in the morning. As usual I had to do both the drop off and pick up. I got up at 4.30 am to go and pick them up and used the key to unlock the car door instead of the beep beep thingo on the keyring. Next thing I know the horn starts honking and the lights were flashing on and off ..OMG it was so scary!! Martin and his brother came running outside (dressed only in their undies, not a good look) to see what the hell was going on. it was bedlam...seems the new car has an alarm something were unaware of up until that point. I don't think the neighbours were too impressed.
Finally got new glasses last week...I lost my last ones at SWIG in October...I have been winging it with an old pair from three prescriptions ago....The first thing I noticed when I put the new ones on was that my eyebrows had over taken the entire upper portion of my brow...I had gone to pluck them a few times before but when I looked in the mirror they looked fine....I took that as a sign that it probably wasn't a good idea to check out my bum...so now I have reading glasses, walking around glasses and prescription sunglasses...team that with Martins three pair and between the two of us it takes a while to sort out whose is whose when we need them for something. Since my track record for losing glasses is getting rather bad I got myself one of those granny chain things...but I fell asleep in bed reading one night and almost met my demise with a two dollar cord so I have given it the flick...it was ruining my image anyway...oh yes thats right, I don't have an image.
One of my plans for this year is to get fit (have given up on the whole losing weight thing, its too depressing).My sister and I were having a discussion one day about how we were so good at roller skating when we were teens so we decided to take up roller blading...if any of you are thinking of doing this let me warn you...once you have them on it's a very long way down to the ground....fine if you are fifteen but when you are on the wrong side of forty it is frightening...we chose our venue...in the undercover carpark of the local chemist which is deserted by six o'clock at night so noone can see us...which is just as well. Our first night we strapped on our blades and full of confidence we began our new regime. Who would have thought that a discarded half chewed lolly would jam a skate wheel so easily. Both my legs went up in the air and I landed nice and hard on my bum....all within the first two minutes. It left me winded and badly bruised and I was laughing and crying at the same time. Five minutes after that Pam came a cropper landing on her elbow..she was on the ground spinning round in agony looking very much like a cockroach that had just been Pea Beu'd...however we have kept it up and a couple of nights ago we were bragging how we were almost ready for stunts...suddenly a nice looking young man aged about 30 appeared on our turf with a skateboard under his arm and proceeded to do bunny hops and some other techo stuff...I felt ready to exhibit some of my finer skills and attempted to do the leg crossover thing on a corner as I rounded a pilon...lets just say I may have been premature to attempt such a thing and went down like a bag of shit failing to impress anyone. Nuff said!
Cass if you are reading this, I updated my blog just for you!
catcha next time

Only a few more sleeps till Santa comes!! Pleased to say I am all ready and waiting. Did the groceries today to avoid the weekend rush, the presents were wrapped weeks ago and are all sitting under the tree and I have bought batteries of every shape and size. Emily and Ellas Daddy arrived home today for a week so Haley is relieved as Joe was almost rostered on for Xmas which would have been sad.
Love this picture of my two angels though it took some doing getting a decent photo as Emily likes to pull stupid faces so I have dozens of those photos lol. Ebony is hanging out for her new ipod, its been nearly a month since her last one was stolen so I hope she is more careful with this one...I still cant get over the size of them... a lot smaller than the PYE radiogram I had as a kid! I remember stacking up four or five LP'S and watch them drop to the turntable and the arm slide over to start playing the tracks...a masterpiece of technology though you could hardly shove it in your pocket like they do these days.
I got a new car for Christmas as the head gasket blew on mine and no one could fix it before the New Year and the cost was outrageous for an 11 year old car. When I say new, its 3 years old but the newest one I have ever had so I am pretty chuffed with my XT BA falcon! Martin also gave me 200 dollars to go and buy myself some stuff so he could give it to Eb to wrap for under the tree (He's been working 14 hours a day 7 days a week and doesnt get time) I bought some new clothes and sunnies and a pair of thongs exactly the same as the ones I already have as they were the only ones I could find that fitted my stupid feet.
How are you all enjoying the Christmas holidays!!! The sleep ins are good but you need a money tree to keep teenagers amused. Eb has been to the movies a few times and shopping to spend the$50.00 her Uncle staurt gave her for Christmas. She came home and showed me the bikini top she got at City Beach for 48 bucks...she looked at me stupid when I asked her where the bottoms were (ok to fill you all in, you don't wear bikini bottoms, you wear shorts).....so nearly 50 bucks for HALF a bikini!!!!!!!! Yikes! It looks so tiny too, I remember the days when I could wear a bikini....wouldnt be seen dead in one now, not with the bulges, flabby overhang and cellulite. Now when I hop in the pool its shorts and a tshirt and even that looks gross when its wringing wet and sticking into all the crevices....Geez I have just put myself off my Christmas dinner!!!!
No doubt my New Years resolution will once again be to lose weight...I should take a leaf out of my sisters book...She got herself a personal trainer back in October and has gone from 138 kilos to 96 and is looking terrific...She hopes to get to her goal weight of 60 kilos so I hope she makes it.... I on the other hand am sitting here as I type eating chips...hopeless!
News in brief........
**My mother once again drove her motorised scooter up the street for her shopping (in downtown Toogoolawah) then forgot and caught a taxi home...The Co- op man kindly drove it back to her house
**My brother and his wife recently went into hospital to have their gastric lapbands loosened in readiness for their overseas trip (what the????)
**My middle daughter Jodie won a trophy for her car in a show and shine contest...and no its not a prize for the shiniest car (lol silly me)
**Haley turns 25 on the 30th December.....I gave her birthday money early so she could buy something for her new house.....she bought a mop and bucket, a jug, an ironing board, a toilet brush, a laundrey hamper, door mats and coat hangers??? However I personally don't think that's sad as it's the sorts of things I would buy lol
**Martin is not working for the next 4 days straight....he will be bored out of his brain and when he is bored he thinks of funny names to call me...I wont think they are funny...in fact I will think he's a dickhead
** I cleaned out my pantry and found a tin of curry powder that had an expiry date of 2000...and when I cleaned out the freezer I found Barbie and Ken (will interview Emily about that, I wouldnt be that stupid)
Ok folks, thats all ...have a Merry Christmas and stay safe!

How cute are these little girls lol...Neither of them were very cooperative when I was trying to take their picture...Emily has to have a dozen or so shots of poking out her tongue and pulling faces before I get any good ones...and Miss Ella...well she put on a bit of a tizzy and I had to come back to her lol
And here is our tree in all its pink and purple glory....My decorations were becoming very shabby looking so I tossed them out and bought all new ones and went with a funky new colour scheme...I just love looking at it!!

I have to say I prefer fake trees to real ones for a couple of reasons..One is I put it up so early a real tree would be well and truly dead and brown before the time Christmas Day arrived...and the other reason is I am emotionally scarred by the real trees we had when I was a kid...My Dad used to bring home the sickest, most pathetic trees you could possibly imagine!!! They used to have stalls at the side of the road where you could buy a decent tree but he preferred to aquire (pinch) his own. Man, try making something look pretty when it only has three branches....cannot be done! Another thing I have a problem with is tinsel...just cant get my head around that stuff...no matter how creative I try to be, it always looks like it is strangling the tree...so I go for beads instead.
My Christmas shopping was done weeks ago but last night I took Ebony shopping so she could select her gifts....Love the way their minds work lol...She got her Dad got a Homer Simpson coffee cup with chocolates...Homer is Dads Hero!...Her friends got pooping penguins...little novelty lolly dispensers, and some undie shaped chocolates called Calvin Cleans...too funny...
Emily will be pleased with her Dora the Explorer singing crayons (Mum wont be!) and Ella got some cute little clothes.....She selected nice gifts for her sisters and other friends too along with very expensive wrapping paper...her fifty dollar budget soon blew out to $135 so I nervously handed over my store card fully expecting sirens to go off for being over my limit...thankfully I wasn't.
School holidays are almost upon us and already I am broke...I renewed Ebonys Dreamworld pass as she uses it several times a week during the holidays to go with her friends so its money well spent....no doubt I will be forking out money left ride and centre for trips to the movies and other assorted excursions so scrapping supplies will be few and far between!
Already I am dreading our annual trip to Victoria to visit Martins Mum and Brothers and sisters...Last year we flew but this year we will probably drive again as Martin likes to up and leave on the spur of the moment which you can't do when you have a plane ticket booked....The last car trip was a nightmare...Martin does all the driving as I am way too scary behind the wheel on unfamiliar roads..Eb started complaining not long after we got down the driveway and didnt stop till we drove up it again ten days later...it was freezing in Vic and I had no warm clothes and couldnt buy any as all the summer stock was out...We slept on a blow up air bed which was dead flat every morning and my sister in laws dog insisted on humping my leg at every opportunity....On the way down Martin got confused and was driving down the middle of a tram line, then we got lost and added a further three hours to an already too long trip.....holy crap, I so dont want to go, please dont make me go!
It is so quiet here now Haley and the girls have moved out..Her new home is lovely , a huge 4 bedroom with a massive lounge and family room, fully air conditioned , remote garage ..the works! Joe hasn't even seen it yet, he doesnt get back from the mines till the 18th December...Haley has slept on the floor next to Emilys bed every night as she is scared...poor thing I know what thats like...I laughed when I called around the other day, Emily said I could come in but I had to take off my shoes and I wasn't allowed to jump on the couch....Damn I was looking forward to that....she has already asked when she can come over for a sleepover...and they have only been gone four days!
Well that's about it for now, boring I know, I will try to do something exciting next week to make for an interesting post!

Whoops, haven't updated for a while! Let's see, what has been happening since I spoke to you all last. As you can see, Ella is coming along nicely. Haley says she is much easier to manage than Emily was a baby and sleeps heaps during the day which is something Emily never did. Em is coping much better now but still gets mighty miffed if Ella starts squawking while "her shows" are on.
I have almost finished my Christmas shopping now, just a few secret santa's to go and I am done. So glad to be finished before the mad rush, I hate crowds. Most of the people I buy for are girls, so that's easy as I have had a bit of experience in that area but choosing a gift for my six year old great nephew had me perplexed let me tell you!! Very unfamiliar territory is the "boy aisle". I wandered up and down scratching my head looking at all the scary stuff on offer and not quite getting what half of the things even did.....none of them played pretty music, nothing was pastel coloured and I was getting more confused by the minute. I eventually settled on a Spiderman boogie board (I know he likes him!) and a very lethal looking huge water pistol with built in shield and sounds effects....I am sure his mother will love that lol.
Shopping for Ebony was a bit different this year, now she's a teenager she is passed all the cutie pie stuff she used to love. Got her a LCD TV for her room and bright orange Converse hightop boots....(very flash name for what we used to call gym boots that were a dime a dozen, but now they have become trendy you have to take out a second mortgage to afford them), some clothes that I had to let her pick and try on as my taste is apparently "gay" which is not good. Also some jewellery which I hope she doesn't manage to lose like she usually does and other assorted odds and ends.
Thought that was her done but last week she had her ipod stolen which is comparable to losing limb. The way she carried on you would have thought there had been a death in the family. She looks odd walking around with wires hanging out of her ears. For five days straight she has left for school in the morning and TIDIED HER ROOM before she left. I was most concerned as this is unheard of, she never ever does that, and especially without being nagged to do it...then the motive was revealled when she asked if she could earn money to save for a new ipod...aha, so that's why! I didn't dare tell her dear old Dad has already OK'ed a new one for Xmas in lime green....I am going to milk this cleaning the room bizzo for a while yet!
And speaking of dear old Dad, he bought her a new bed last week, a nice trendy wooden one with a pull out trundle for when her friends sleep over. I was happy to fnally saying goodbye to the daggy old bunk bed but when I realise the new bed came flat packed my excitement went out the window....we all know flat pack means you have to read instructions...men do not read instructions! Just as I thought he upended the three boxes mixing up all the screws and bits in one messy pile and then started with the cursing and hed scratching.....several hours later the bed was assembled but not without many swear words (some I had never heard of) and quite a few left over bits which he assures me are spares.
Almost time to drag out the Christmas tree...then it will be my turn to curse when it comes time to untangle the Christmas lights...or I could do what I did last year and just throw them out and buy new ones. I have to also confess that I let the kids decorate the tree , telling them what a great job they are doing...then when they are in bed, I redo it! Geez you dont hang the big balls at the top and the little ones at the bottom! And you dont put two red things together!!! Then I have to hang the tacky knitted angels at the back of tree...cant throw them away as Mum made them but crikey they are soooo ugly lol.
Right about now parents all around the world are milking the Santa thing for all it's worth. Haley had to make a call to Santa today as Emily was having "listening "issues. Em stood there wide eyed listening to the conversation. I think she was in shock that Mum was dobbing her in to the big fellar! When she got off the phone she told Em that Santa had said that if she didn't start listening and doing what she was told, he would have to move her onto the naughty page and the Whack A Mole game she wants so badly might have to go to someone who does listen to their Mum. Em nodded her head and said "ok Mum, do I have to start today?" lol too cute.
Ok that's about it from me, I have a pile of washing to fold....note I said fold, ironing doesn't happen around here!

Things are improving with the whole "I was here first" scenario and I have witnessed some sweet moments with Emily and her baby sister. I even saw her share one of her toys today...granted, it was one of her scabbiest ones but hey, it's a start! The fact that Ella usually winds up around four o'clock is an inconvenience as thats when Playschool is on...Emily sits there with the remote control turning the tv up louder and louder till I can't hear myself think! I had forgotten what an upheaval it is having a newborn in the house...everywhere you look there is prams, rockers, baby baths and nappies along with Emily's blocks and Barbies...how I haven't broken my neck yet is a miracle, it's like walking through a mine field..you don't know what pain is until you step on a piece of Lego or a Barbie high heeled boot with bare feet....and talking of feet I got stung on the toe by a bee yesterday and Holy clappers it stung like hell...I used every swear word I knew which did nothing for the pain but amused everyone who witnessed the incident....My whole foot is swollen like a balloon and itchy like you wouldn't believe...however getting stung on the toe is nowhere near as bad as the sting I got last year when I sat on on a bee and it got me right where babies come from...try scratching that in public without getting weird looks!
That's all from me for now , the novelty of uploading pictures of the grandies is bound to wear off soon...HA!!

The girls arrived home today!! Ella settled well and slept most of the time but I had my fair share of cuddles. Miss Emily is not taking this well at all, within minutes of arriving home she announced in a gleeful voice "hey, I have a good idea...Ella could go and live in Iceland!" Iceland?????????? She must have thought thats a very long way away lol. We have all been trying very hard to give Ella little obvious attention but our efforts still aren't enough for Emily who has turned into a tyrant and is bossing us all around and is generally most annoyed with the latest change in lifestyle. I know she will get over it, its just tough to share the pedestal. Haley took her to the room today and had a bit of a talk to her and said that nothing will change, Mummy and Daddy still love you the same. It really worked too...she announced the room is too squashy and Ellas cot can go in nannys room....too funny it must be hard being three and I have to say even when she is being a bossy boots, Emily is still the apple of my eye...I don't want to get on her wrong side or she will pack me off to Iceland too!!! I will take some pics when a certain someone isn't looking...after all I have lots of scrapping to do!

Here is my beautiful new grand daughter Ella Grace born at 9.27 am on the 11th Oct 2006 weighing 7lb 2 ozs

Jo arrived home from the mines yesterday afternoon and Haley went into labour at 9 o'clock that night...Talk about good timing! They left for the hospital just after 4 am and I was like a caged animal until they rang with the good news.

When Emily woke up I told her that daddy and mummy were at the hospital and she replied "is Ella getting out today?' kinda like a jail break lol. Keeping Em entertained was real work, I cut her toast into squares instead of triangles which was a real big deal and then I couldn't get the DVD player to work and had to call on the kid next door for help....seems I had the remote control; facing the wrong way lol....as the day wore on her anxiety grew because she though Dad wasnt coming back, which was causing tears every five minutes....I stopped at nothing trying to keep her entertained doing my best interpretation of the song Old Man Emu, playing Barbies complete with sassy accents, made a fruit bowl with fruit out of blocks (ever seen a square orange?) sat through Boobah, Wiggles, Blues clues and countless other preschool shows and even let her make her own strawberry quik...more quik than milk.

I thought she would be so pleased when we went to see Mum and the new baby but just after arriving she asked me to take her home..Didn't want to stay with Mum and Dad....Sobbed non stop all the way home, refused to let me read the books that were a gift from baby Ella (mum tried to plan for everything)...She is really out of sorts the poor little buggar.

Jo is not sending her to kindy tomorrow, he is going to take her to TimeZone to whack crabs (some game she loves) and buy a special baby doll so she can have her own baby to look after (My idea, remember that Golden Book "Baby Dear "?rofl)

Haley just rang to tell me they have put Ella in the special care nursery for tonight as she had several episodes of not being able to breathe...they put tubes down her throat to suck out the mucous which is causing the problems and have assured Haley she will be fine.....Haley should try and get a good nights sleep while the baby is being cared for......geez break out the stiff drinks!!

I am babbling I will share more when we are all sane again...thanks everyone for the well wishes...I am going to bed to ready myself for the toast routine tomorrow morning!