Hi all, hopoe you had a great weekend. Thought I would share a pic of the swirly frame I did for Julie at A2Z Scraplets A2Z. It was so quick and easy to do, in fact it took under 20 minutes. I took it outside and sprayed it with mat black paint, then it was only a matter of adding the photo and a few embellishments. If you would like to have a go at one you can buy the frames from The Scrapheap which can be found here.

First weekday of the holidays and somehow, my one kid has turned into four. I have Ebony, her boyfriend, her boyfriends younger brother and her cousin. Todays activity is fishing. If they were expecting Rex Hunt style there was bound to be disappointment. No fancy ugly sticks here, I bought them all a handreel and a packet of prawns and this morning I will be sending them off on the bus with a bottle of cordiol and some sandwiches.

Yesterday we planned a mini family outing to Robina Town Centre with Eb and her boyfriend Zac. I had saved a little money I wanted to buy Eb some track pants and a jumper...(not from Citibeach-her shop of choice ). She was actually very good about buying the stuff from Kmart and Cotton On and for forty dollars she got three pairs of trackies and a hoody. No moaning about the brands, so sulking at all. Lulled me into a false sense of security because usually family outings end with a tanty from Eb, a scolding from me and Martin swearing he will never go anywhere with us ever again. Oh dear, I was soooo wrong...she started about the iphone she wants for her birthday (months away yet). We dragged to all the phone stores to look at this over priced gadget. I told her it was unlikely we could afford it in time for her birthday and that's when the hissy fit started....yes it WAS exensive but if we got in on a plan....I told her plan was out of the question, she tots up phone bills higher than the national debt...the "you are mean" comments started flying along with a big long rant and she stomped off....Martin was oblivious to the whole tirade, he was browsing the butcher shop window...when he came back to me Ebony was missing in busy shopping centre cyber space along with Zac who had gone to look for her. Of course it was my fault because ...well it's always my fault no explanation needed. $%# this Martin says, I am going home. So off he stomps with me running behind. We were almost home when I get a phone call from Ebony asking where we are...when I told her she got really angry and told me it wasn't fair, she didn't stomp off she was just looking in a shop window (yeah right). So yet ANOTHER family day was ruined! As soon as we got home Martin jumped in his truck and drove off like a maniac to go and sulk somewhere and half an hour later Eb and Zac arrived home on the bus....and boy did I give it to her...the talk about grattiude...and how life didn't revolve around her...then I threw in the bit about kids in other countries dying of hunger and they did't whinge about owning iphones-no arguements this time she knew she was in the wrong and went straight up to her room and tidied it up , brought out all her dirty dishes, put her clothes in the laundry basket (the sure sign I knew , she was aware she had done the wrong thing). There are two ways for me to look at this. The first and most obvious is that she is spoilt and ungrateful. The second is that today she is happy to go fishing with a three dollar hand reel and a bottle of cordiol. I know that every weekend she is home playing wii and watching movies out in the garage with her friends...she isn't out smoking bongs, drinking alcohol and getting into trouble with the police....and in about 5 years time she will move out of home and someone else will be putting up with her moodiness. Some of you reading this will be shaking your heads and others will give that knowing nod which means "I know exactly what its like to have a teenager." Lord give me strength-and a double vodka!

The winter chill is definately in the air now, I have got the heater blaring. I bought Emily and Ella a cute beanie and scarf each...they look so cute...buuuuutt I think Ella looks a bit bogan lol
That's the thing with 2 year olds, they have no sense of style...which is the pot calling the kettle black . When I was a teenager waaaaayyyy back in the seventies I was a style icon in my flares and platform shoes but these days I am the daggiest nerdiest thing going....in fact right at this moment I am dressed in tracky pants that are low waisted...which means half of my bum crack hangs out when I sit down, topped with one of Martins old t-shirts and pink bed socks-sexy mumma!-NOT!!!!

Ebony has been doing work experience at a child care centre all week. She comes home every day with tales of toddlers who she reckons are "psycho" and have tantrums and don't do as they are told...HELLLLOOO...When she was that age she was the queen of tantrums. She would hold her breath till she passed out, she would bite herself and pull her hair out in clumps....and the real show stopper was being able to vomit on demand...which meant if we were shopping and she wanted a toy and I said no...she would vomit...not just a little chuck but a huge dramatic chunder followed by choking. (The paediatrician told me very few children mastered that magic trick-lucky me!)

School holidays start here tomorrow, yippeee...not! Back in the good old days when the business was doing well and money wasn't an issue we could whip out the cash and shout Eb and a friend to Movie World or Dream world...but I am afraid these holidays we will be waiting for Cheap Tuesdays at the video shop for the $1 movies. I no doubt will have the boyfriend Zac (Eb's boyfriend not mine) for most of the holidays...but he is very pleasant, polite and helpful so he's no bother...in fact he is so nice sometimes I feel like keeping him...because he doesn't get PMT.

I am off to buy nit shampoo tomorrow.. a little souvenir from the childcare cantre...Ebony is scratching like mad so I am guessing we will find critters...It has been years since we have had to go through that dreadful daily ritual...from grade one to grade five it was almost a daily occurance..except in the school holdays when we would have a few weeks of nit free bliss. Those little buggars can be quite resiliant, I swear you could almost see them doing backstroke in the shampoo foam...I am surprised Ebony hasn't burnt them alive with her hair straightener...and those of you with teenage girls will know all about the hair straightening ritual. Ebonys end of the house always has the lingering aroma of singed hair.

It's been a while since I have done a quiz so I reckon I should put you all to the test

1. It's 9pm and everyone else is in bed...you are feeling a bit peckish so you head to the kitchen for a snack..do you choose

A. a few rice crackers and a glass of water

B. a cup of coffee and just one biscuit

c. a cup of coffee and nearly half a packet of biscuits

2. You put on your jeans and for some reason they don't even go close to doing up . Do you

A. Resign yourself to the fact that you have put on weight.

B. Accuse someone of shrinking them in the clothes dryer

C. Figure that if the jeans dont fit anyway you may as well eat the second half of the packet of biscuits

3. You have just finished a 9 hour shift at work and the grand kids come for a visit and want you to play. Do you

A. Go out the back and play a vigorous game of catchy

B. Tell them you will play doctors...and that you are too sick to get off the couch so they will have to come and make you better

C. Tell them Pop needs their help outside washing the ute.

4. It's the tenth call today from a pesky tellemarketer. Do you

A. Buy whatever the hell it is they are trying to flog

B. Politely decline their offer

C. Ask them what time they will be cooking dinner and when they ask why...say " so I can bloody ring you when you are in the middle of doing something"

5. Your teenager asks if you can buy them a $600 iphone. Do you

A. Say yeah sure and buy it

B. Tell them that it is an expensive item and that perhaps they should look for a little part time job and save up for one

C. Burst out laughing and tell them to rack off.

6. Your mum gives you a really ugly top she bought for you at the op shop. Do you

A. Gush about how beautiful it is and put it on straight away

B. Say 'What a shame it isn't my size but it might fit one of your sisters"

C. Tell your Mum it's crap but Hubby will use it to wash the car.

7. Your husband-when asked -says "Yes..your bum DOES look big in that". Do you

A. Shrug and figure you thought as much

B. Give him the death look and thank him for his opinion

C. Think under your breath " yeah, you baldy headed little fat bastard, you obviously forgot to look in the mirror this morning

If you answerd mostly A's...you are such a liar, no one is that nice

If you answered mostly B's ...I still think you are fibbing a bit...but good for you anyway

If you answered mostly C's...welcome to MY world!

That's all folks I am off for a cofee and half a packet of biscuits

I already remembered some news lol. Just wanted to say how much I love browsing the gallery over at the Scrapheap. I think I have been a member of aussielayouts for five years or more now and through peoples layouts I have watched everyones kids grow up, followed their travel adventures, witnessed weddings and new births and made many many wonderful friends. If you want to check out the gallery just go here .

Also Julie has a great sketch challenge going on over at the A2Z Scraplets blog. You can check it out here. There is a great pricze up for grabs so you should really have a shot at it....there is a new competition every month so keep checking back. This months sketch was really pretty and I really enjoyed doing my layout...

....and by the way, no one...I mean no one si to bag me out about my music selection...cos I like it! lol

ok that really is all I remember now- as you were!

Well somehow six months has slipped by since I last updated, I have no idea where that time went! This cute photo was taken at Emily's 6th birthday party which was at the end of May. She had a night time birthday party and then ten of her little friends slept over (brave on Haleys part). I took over as entertainment committee and we all had a blast doing the limbo, conga line and (much to Ebonys disgust) I taught them a few golden oldy specialty dances such as the monkey and the sprinkler...fun was had by all...although Ebony told me I was sooooo embarrassing and she wouldn't come to a kids party with me again...she is just jealous I can do the sprinkler dance better than her!
In other news Haley is expecting her third baby early October...we already know it's a girl and I for one am so happy...gotta love little girls.
I have broadened my work experience and now work a few days a week at the Surfers Paradise Golf Club as a waitress, barista and dishpig.....and I know what you are all thinking...and you are soooo right...I should NOT be a waitress lol....hard to turn corners and keep that darn food on the plate...it's just lucky my sister is the bistro manager and chef...when she sees me head back to the kitchen she just remakes the order no questions asked. Have to say I use the term barista very loosley as well, there is no way I could rock up to a coffee shop and apply for a job...this whole coffee thing is a bit of crock really...flat white, latte, Cappacino...all the same except the order of the way you pour it into the cup is a bit different...my theory anyway.
Other news...I have been sleepwalking on a regular basis...something I haven't done in years...Ebony got up at 4 o'clock one morning to find me with a feather duster in hand doing a bit of cleaning....have also been found washing the wardrobe doors in the middle of the night, quizzed by Martin as to what exactly i was wandering around the house looking for...to be told..a cigarette lighter to light the chip fryer??? (that's a bit freaky) and just the other night I woke up freeezing cold and found myself lying in the bath - no water thank God. Odd behaviour, I know it's brought on by stress but I haven't bothered going to the doctor because he would send me for tests...and I would put the referal in the glove box with the faeces jar, urine jar, colonoscopy request form, zyban prescription and blood test forms...no point really.
Thats all for now, I am sure I will think of some more news which I will add later when it comes to me!

Eight months since I updated???Who could ever be that busy!! I won't bother catching you up, it is all rather boring and depressing...a new year , a new start!

I will bring only news from this year and since its only the first month it won't take long...

1. Thank heavens the weather has been fine for these school holidays, the pool is finally getting used...Haley brings the kids over a few days a week for a swim...Ella likes to wear her "gobbles" and do "bong dives". I head butted Emily in the pool a few weeks ago and knocked out her loose tooth...she was worried the tooth fairy wouldn't come through without the tooth as proof, so poor me spent an hour wearing MY "gobbles" looking for it in a pool..you have no idea how hard it is to find a tiny tooth when every pebble in your pool looks like one...but I found it!
   

I have a few jobs now which is bringing in some much needed extra dollars ...some of the jobs I like and some I really hate but that's life...The job I hate is cleaning...I do two houses a week for rellos and although I am not in a position to be picky I always thought I was above cleaning other peoples toilets...apparently not! So far I have broken a soap dish and came close to busting some fancy fangled new wave oven which luckliyI caught before I knocked it off the kitchen bench...My brother and his wife and shopping network junkies so there are always lots of gadgets at their place which they invite me to use...the latest is a machine youy stand on and it vibrates...the more you push the button the more violently it vibrates...and the longer you stay on it the more likely you are to spend the rest of the day walking around like you have hit the turps....

Another job I do for my brother and sister in law is work one day a week in their office..I suck at office work but the good thing is they suck at it too...I clean the office first and then do filing...they are the only people I know who have a whole file for traffic fines...which is full...if I am not sure where something should be filed they tell me to put it in miscellaneous....I need a whole filing cabinet for misc!! My sister in law usually rocks in around nine, paints her nails, puts ring tones onto her phone and eats donuts.....around 11 o clock she announces we have done enough and its time to go...I get paid 100 dollars for this back breaking yakka.

My next job is working at a golf club...My sister runs the bistro so she gets me in two days a week to be a waitress/kitchen hand/dishpig. Anyone who knows me well would be thinking how scary I would be as a waitress...and rightly so...my first day I lost two plates of sandwiches on the floor when I didn't negotiate a corner...also squirted coffee topping all over myself when making an iced coffee and last count I have dropped four cappacinos....I do however make lovely carrot curls on the carrot curling machine and I am very quick at unloading the dishwasher...which is probably what is saving my arse...all these jobs are a thousand times better than the job I did in November and lasted a whole two days.....the job description was

"how would you like to work with a team of friendly women in our exclusive and exciting salad packing business?" Hell yeah, I can just see me sitting on a little stool as little plastic tubs roll slowly by on a conveyor belt....me plopping a little bit of coleslaw in each tub, kidding around with the lady sitting next to me...so I applied and got the job....I don't know where the hell I got my idea of salad packing from but it was nothing like reality!!!!!!!! Six am start. Kitted out with a white lab coat, long white heavy vinyl apron, big gum boots, gloves, hair net, sleeve protectors, no jewellery, no makeup, three layers of clothing underneath...I was walked into a freezing cold room...and I mean polar ice cap....freeze the balls off a tennis court...I was introduced to Soon Yi and Mo Pong (not their real names but close enough!)who couldn't speak a word of bloody english who used gestures to indicate what I was supposed to be doing...which was grabbing between 24 and 28 grams of english spinach leaves out of a crate, weighing it and plopping into a punnet....you have no idea how hard it is to guess between 24 and 28 grams...and the whole time the supervisor is clapping her hands saying "come on ladies, chop chop"....I did this for nearly two hours when I was rescued (so I thought) to be put on crate packing...a long conveyor belt winds through the whole factory with thirty ladies packing an assortment of lettuce leaves into punnets and onto the belt....through a machine which packs in in plastic and it continues on its merry way and drops into a large tray...this is where I come in....my job is to pick up two packs at a time, pack them into a crate, 16 per crate, the writing all facing the one way, checking that the use by date is correct and that they are sealed properly.... ( the whole time my eyes are burning from bleach fumes ).... picking up the full crate running over to a pallet, stacking the crates 5 high in one direction, four high in the other direction on top of that, 150 crates in all, putting a description ticket on each crate, wheeling the full pallet into the next room, bringing back an empty pallet to start again....by which time the tray is over flowing with packets of lettuce which are spilling into the floor....OMG, HOLY FRIGGIN CRAP!! This was me for the next ten hours....and at the end of the day the boss says you did really well Bev, we normally have two people doing that job but one of the ladies is off sick....ONYA! The next day was a little easier but at the end of the day when we were hosing down the facory and scrubbing the floors I was overcome by the fumes...by the time I got home I had the worst head ache ever, my eyes were running non stop and I could barely breathe....I went to the docs the next day and he told me I had an allergic reaction to the cleaning products and I should consider leaving the job...HALLELLbloodyLUJAH!!!!!!!!! So the next time you are in the supermarket and you see punnets of lettuce leaves or spinach think of the poor bitches who work in that factory doing 12 hours shifts freezing their tits off....a footnote to this is I havnt been paid for the 2 x 12 days I worked because they are claiming your first two days are work experience....pigs arse, I will give them chop chop!! Stay tuned for that one!

Well that was rather ho hum...I will see what the next few weeks bring, maybe something more excting will happen!

Jodie and Duane arrived home from their Canadian adventure last week armed to the eyeballs with heaps of lovely (and as you can see some not so lovely) photos to scrap. On their way home they stopped over in California so they went to Hollywood and Disneyland...lucky buggars. The Top photos are of Lake Louise...it looks so pretty...Jodie had three wishes when she went to Canada...she wanted to learn to snowboard, make a snowman and see a squirrell....well she sort of learnt to snowboard...did manage to make a snowman...hers is nicer than Daunes...his hasn't got a face (in case any kids are looking lol)....and she finally got to see a squirrel up close and personal when her roomy got up in the middle of the night to pee....heard a strange noise in the toilet...jumped up ...and there he was lol...apparently removing the said squirrel was a shit of a job...pardon the pun..Thay are both now looking for jobs to save up and go overseas again..they have been bit by the bug!

I can hardly believe that Emily is five already...those years have gone by in a blur!!! This afternoon we had a little afternoon tea at our place to celebrate her birthday. She was impressed with all her presents...I went mad as usual...bratz doll, polly pocket, fuzzy felts, Barbie pixi under the sea play centre, Amigo computer game ( so cute...a little pet dog you have to train), clothes clothes and more clothes, princess dress ups and LOTS of hair accessories (she loves them). I couldn't give one without the other so there was a bag of goodies for Ella as well but I needn"t have bothered...she was more interested in the blow out whistles. Emily took her birthday girl role very seriously and announced that she would be eating her fifth freddo frog in a row as she was the birthday girl and she could do whatever she wanted....unfortunately for her, Dad happens to be back from the mines and told her in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't be touching any more frogs ...this really upset the apple cart and in true female form she had to go off for a while and have a big sulk.
When I took Ems photo holding up how many fingers for her age, Ella got in on the act and held up one finger and announced "two"...Such a dag that kid...she also preferred to wear her princess crown as sunnies.
We had a simple little party tea and Emily announced she was just going to eat icecream cake because she was the birthday girl and she could eat whatever she wanted....Dad once again had to pull her into line which resulted in another girly sulk. Didn't bother Ella...she tucked into her fairy bread with tomato sauce no worries. Thankfully Ebony was home to set up her new computer game which kept Emily amused for the rest of the afternoon while Ella ran amok...I gave her a torch to play with and next thing I know she is pulling down the back of my jeans and shining the torch down my pants and asking if I "do poo?" She also painted a chocolate mural on the front of the fridge, upended her icecream cake on the table and gave Pop one mighty big whack over the head with her new fairy wand...That was the cue that it was time to go home to bed. Emily announced she didn't have to go to bed because she was the birthday girl and she could do whatever she wanted ....you can guess the rest! Ah the joys of grandkids....quick pat on the head and they were on their way....I bet Haley and Joe were in for a little hyperactivity when they got home...not my fault they were sneaking freddo frogs all afternoon!!!

Happy Mother's Day everyone, I hope you were all thoroughly spoilt today!!!Before I forgoet the photo is of me, my eldest Sister Jenny, Mum and Josh who is one of Mum's 20 great grandchildren. My day started with a sleep in until 8.30...pure bliss. Next were the pressies...flanny jammies from Haley, almost my national costume in the cooler weather both day and night. Martin and Ebony spent most of Saturday afternoon shopping for my gift and I have to say I never would have guessed in a million years. The first one I opened was a wooden jewellery box...Martin must have noticed the bewildered look on my face since the only jewellery I own is a watch and pair of earrings which I never take off. The next parcel was a lovely gold chain and pendant...hence the jewellery box?? Knowing how much I love completely practical things like doona covers and vacuum cleaners, Ebony explained that they never know what to but me so from now on they will be adding to the collection...lovely sentiment....but I still really love doona covers and vacuum cleaners.
We decided...or rather Martin and Ebony decided we should go somewhere special for lunch....this was at 11am not giving us much chance of finding anywhere on the Gold Coast that wouldn't already be booked out...after letting my fingers do the walking we got a reservation at The Town and Country...a local restauarant...my sil and bil came along too. Turns out theplace is brilliant and I have no idea why we have never been there before since its only a five minute drive from where we live. It was an all you can eat buffet consisting of cold seafood and hot roast and vegetables so it suited Ebony , who loves roast, my sister in law who is vegetarian and Martin who is just a guts...as I looked around at all the families gathered for a special lunch with family, I noticed they were deep in conversation, laughing and generally relaxing and having a good time...our party of five however were watching the clock waiting for the magical hour of 12 so they could rush up when the buffet started. As soon as the big hand and little hand were both on the 12, Martin and Mick did the fifty yard dash and started loading their plates with king prawns...far too many for the rather small plates. Ebony was doing her usual whinge because there was hardly anything she liked and everything looked like it had onion in it...sheesh...I told her to load her plate with the lovely looking chicken breasts ......she did and was really pissed off to find it was actually salmon...my bad! As with most all you can eat buffets, we all ate way too much, incuding one of everything in the desserts...gotta love mud cake and baked cheescake...I know for a fact that Martin and Mick both got their fifty bucks worth and although Ebony didnt eat much to start with she made up for it with dessert. All in all a great day out...of course when we got home Martin and I had a few hours nanny nap!
During the week we took Mum back home after staying with us for a fortnight. I think she had a good time, but like all people her age she loves her own place. I had warned Ebony and Martin to behave while she was here and apart from a few Eb tantys they were pretty well behaved. Mum has trouble getting around now, she has arthritus in her spine and knees, so we were pretty much house bound. I did manage to convince her to go and have a look at one of our local junk shops and she was so pleased she did....got a cheapo version of one of those spinning dusters they flog to death on those tv ads...except these ones were only 14.95 instead of the million dollars they want for the real deal. I bet she has dusted her house from top to bottom by now! While she was here she got new teeth...it turns out my neighbours father in law is a retired dental technician, so he came to the house....what service!! Took impressions on Wednesday and she had her teeth by Friday...both top and bottom and at a fraction of the cost you would normally pay...Mum hasnt had bottom teeth for 17 years so when she put her new ones in she was talking with the familiar whistle...not that I am hanging shit because I have been having a few problems myself with my bottom teeth as well. On a recent scrapbooking getaway I was eating some roast beef when I detected what I thought was a bone...I didnt panic until I realised the bone was in fact my bottom plate which had somehow managed not only to dislodge but turn completely sideways in my mouth...I discretely tried to rectify the problem, but with a mouthful of meat and pumpkin it was never going to be easy...add to that a cough that just came from nowhere and I had food AND teeth escaping my mouth which was no doubt grossing everybody out....hard to choke on your teeth without doing it loudly!!...sorry everone...you will be pleased to know I have packed the bottom teeth away for now.
I am still trying to fight off a wog I picked up along the way...snotty nose, wino cough, sinus, sneezing..the whole kit and kaboodle...went to the docs twice...on my second visit he got out the dreaded blood pressure monitor.....and before I know it I have this big long list of things to have tested at pathology including cholesterol (again) ...then he handed me a suss looking brown jar....which I have to use to provide a stool sample...yay, how I love shitting in jars!! And all this because I have a cough????????????????????PLEASE!
I had a visit from my nephew and his wife this week along with their seven year old son Josh ( he is in the photos) They had to see a child psychologist hre on the Gold Coast....Josh has mild aspergers along with a few other problems and they are currently trying to sort out his medication. Hats off to anyone who has a child with this condition, he is a real handful!! While eating the dinner I cooked he told me my cooking was shit and HIS nan cooks much better than me....also referred to my husband as fatboy rofl. We went down to get takeaway the next night and we ordered extra as Ebony had friends over,,,when they were putting food on their plates Josh asked them if they were going to pay as they shouldn't get to eat for free....Ebony was mortified.. Although he struggles with school, he certainly is good with his hands...his mum got up to go to work one morning only to find her car jacked up with all the wheels missing (cant get over that, he is only 7, I dont think I could do it!)...he also pulled his sisters laptop into a million pieces and unscrewed an aluminium strip from the whole perimetre of his pops caravan...needless to say it was lovely and quiet when they left.
Emily and Ella are as cute as ever, I see them four or five times a week...last time Joe was home Emily told him he should not have another beer...when asked why she said she is learning about the food pyramid and beer is as bad as fats and oils...the things they learn!
Martin turned 56 yesterday...along with UnderbellyUncut and a chair massager as well as his usual chocolates and licorice, he received five new shirts...all extra large as it seems I have done something to all his old shirts and they don't fit anymore.....HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish I could use that excuse!
Well it seems that even though I havent updated for 4 months I have nothing much else to tell...maybe I will have some more news for you when Jodie gets back from Canada next week...stay tuned!

wwwoooooohooo, yeehaa, uh huh uh huh uh huh.....I am mildy excited about the kids being back to school, are you?? This year Ebony and her cousin Cody are in year ten, I truly never thought I would see the day!! Shopping for school goodies was relatively painless this year...well apart from the shoes, that one is always torture. Ebony has a knack for wanting shoes that haven't even been invented yet which usually means trekking to every shoe shop, sporting shop and surf shop within a twenty mile radius. After thirty odd shops I was prepared to pay a million dollars but as it turns out they were only 100 dollars...and just in case you want to know what's hot this year it is DC's ...Of course that means nothing to me, they are white sneakers with blue letters and I probably could have found something very similar in KMart...then again I am not 14 and I have very GAY taste.

My tiny little Emily started Prep this year...where the hell did that time go??? I jumped ahead of mum and got her a very cute canvas Bratz bag, cool white Bratz sneakers (not DC's and only 25 bucks lol), you beaut shiny black school shoes and a pretty pink lunch box and drink bottle. Her size 4 uniform swims on her and I had to adjust the skorts to make them stay up but she looks cute in it all the same...the photo is from after school so her hair is looking a little bit naff but she still looks pretty excited.

Having wet school holidays sucked big time. Every day I had a housefull of bored loud hungry kids (um why do they always come here???). I struggled to keep up with chips and drinks and got very used to having the tv blaring with MTV. I would like to take this opportunity to warn parents to ban the following programs...My Sweet 16...a show about rich little yanky kids whose parents spend thousands and thousands of dollars on their kids 16th birthdays, usually hiring a prominent rapper for entertainment at the venue and then presenting their spoilt brat with a mercedes sports car...dream on I say, a pool party is about as good as it will get around here and maybe a Datsun 120Y. The other show (which was the boys favourite) was Jackass....a whole heap of dickheads pulling ridiculous dangerous stunts...I really hated that one because as soon as it finished I would be out the front yelling "Cody get off the roof with your skateboard" or "Chris, if you wrap your face with Gladwrap you WILL die" Sheesh bring back the Simpsons, at least it was harmless.

Martin has almost finished his two weeks holiday...(of which he has so far worked 9 days) We were going to go and stay at the Sunshine Coast for 2 weeks but somehow that fizzled....We managed a day at Burleigh Beach....Martin and I both hate the beach but Ebony and Chris really really wanted to go..before we left they wanted to buy a boogie board but Dad wasnt going to be conned into a major shopping centre so we stopped off at our local Woolworths and gave them 10 minutes to find a boogie board each...they came back to the car with very long faces...they bought the last two... Ebony got a pink one with a Maui Girl logo ( which is SO not Quicksilver) and Chris seriously lucked out with a Wiggles one (try walking down the beach with one of those trying to look cool!) They both seemed to have a good time although they probably would have preferred it if I didnt spend the whole day on the edge of the water telling them to move back between the flags, don't go out so far, come and put a tshirt on so you don't get belly rash, sunscreen time!! We had lunch at a cafe on the boardwalk and Ebony was horrified when I ordered a burger....I pulled my knife out of my bag (I carry it everywhere) and cut it into tiny bite sized pieces (yep the new teeth are still giving me grief...anything not sloppy is challenging!!) I think thats why she moved to another table lol.

Another outing which was surprisingly successful was to Tropical Fruit World. I thought after the thrills and spills of the theme parks, Eb and Cody would find it boring, but they had a fantastic time and learned heaps of interesting facts...did you know pineapples and bananas are not fruits but herbs?....neither did I! We took a tractor ride through the plantation and at one stage stopped near macadamia bushes so eveyone could get out and gather some....I saw Cody heading back towards the tractor with a big handful so I pulled out my camera and yelled out "Cody , stand over there and show me your nuts" Everyone burst out laughing and I didnt know why until Eb pointed out my embarrassing blunder..

Our last outing of the school holidays was to Aussieworld at the Sunshine Coast. The kids racked off and deserted Martin and I as soon as we got there so we headed off for a game of mini golf...it was so darned hot I fainted on the 16th hole....Martin was flapping around like a chook not knowing what to do ...he eventually ran and got me a drink which was a relief...but we still had to finish the last two bloody holes...I hate that game they need bigger holes I reckon!

Ebony begged me to go on the Wild Mouse ride , which really didnt look too bad...I have been on all the rides at the other theme parks including the Lethal Weapon, Giant Drop and wipeout so I figured it would be a piece of cake...I figured wrong, it was the scariest bloody thing I have ever been on and I very nearly lost my teeth...again again Eb begged .... NO WAY!!!! She settled for a ride on the octopus....note to self....if you suffer vertigo, do not ride on things that spin.....I hopped off the ride and 3 days later I am still spinning!

I had to go for an eye test the other day....she knew I had high blood pressure and cholesterol just by looking at the blood vessels in my eyes...that freaked me out a bit, I am making a very concious effort to eat properly now...when I went to pick up my new glasses I told the receptionist there had been a mistake...I had paid extra money to have the lenses ground down thinner...she pointed out they had been ground down....to coke bottle thickness!! Holy crap I must be almost blind. When the optomitrist tried them on me she said in the near future I should consider blepharoplasty as I have hooded eyelids and my right one is obscuring my peripheral vision....I said yes...then came home and looked up blepharoplasty on the internet as I didnt have a clue what it was.....an eyelid lift, now why couldnt she have just said that! Dunno about that one, I will ponder for a while...I have seen this procedure on the health channel and it kinda looks like a circumcision of the eyelid...thats gotta hurt!

Since having my teeth done I have lost five kilos...I need to lose at least that much again...it really is an unpleasant experience getting dentures...a few weeks ago we took Martins mum to the pokies for a bit of an outing before she had to fly back to Melbourne...it got to 2.30 in the afternoon and I hadnt had a thing to eat all day...I went to a vending machine and bought a pack of Cadbury choc ball thingys... I sat down at my poker machine and put a couple in my mouth and bit down....to my absolute horror my top teeth somersaulted out of my mouth and landed in the coin tray....i retrieved them like a rocket but in my embarrassed haste I was trying to put them in upside down...they were coated in chocolate......and well the whole scene was very ugly....I use hold tite powder now to glue them in each day till I get a relign in 5 months time.

Well thats about all the shame and scandal I have for now, I was going to try and change my music but I forget how to do it lol...catch you all later!