Bevs Banter

2009-06-29T07:05:00.002+10:00

Hi all, hopoe you had a great weekend. Thought I would share a pic of the swirly frame I did for Julie at A2Z Scraplets A2Z. It was so quick and easy to do, in fact it took under 20 minutes. I took it outside and sprayed it with mat black paint, then it was only a matter of adding the photo and a few embellishments. If you would like to have a go at one you can buy the frames from The Scrapheap which can be found here.

First weekday of the holidays and somehow, my one kid has turned into four. I have Ebony, her boyfriend, her boyfriends younger brother and her cousin. Todays activity is fishing. If they were expecting Rex Hunt style there was bound to be disappointment. No fancy ugly sticks here, I bought them all a handreel and a packet of prawns and this morning I will be sending them off on the bus with a bottle of cordiol and some sandwiches.

Yesterday we planned a mini family outing to Robina Town Centre with Eb and her boyfriend Zac. I had saved a little money I wanted to buy Eb some track pants and a jumper...(not from Citibeach-her shop of choice ). She was actually very good about buying the stuff from Kmart and Cotton On and for forty dollars she got three pairs of trackies and a hoody. No moaning about the brands, so sulking at all. Lulled me into a false sense of security because usually family outings end with a tanty from Eb, a scolding from me and Martin swearing he will never go anywhere with us ever again. Oh dear, I was soooo wrong...she started about the iphone she wants for her birthday (months away yet). We dragged to all the phone stores to look at this over priced gadget. I told her it was unlikely we could afford it in time for her birthday and that's when the hissy fit started....yes it WAS exensive but if we got in on a plan....I told her plan was out of the question, she tots up phone bills higher than the national debt...the "you are mean" comments started flying along with a big long rant and she stomped off....Martin was oblivious to the whole tirade, he was browsing the butcher shop window...when he came back to me Ebony was missing in busy shopping centre cyber space along with Zac who had gone to look for her. Of course it was my fault because ...well it's always my fault no explanation needed. $%# this Martin says, I am going home. So off he stomps with me running behind. We were almost home when I get a phone call from Ebony asking where we are...when I told her she got really angry and told me it wasn't fair, she didn't stomp off she was just looking in a shop window (yeah right). So yet ANOTHER family day was ruined! As soon as we got home Martin jumped in his truck and drove off like a maniac to go and sulk somewhere and half an hour later Eb and Zac arrived home on the bus....and boy did I give it to her...the talk about grattiude...and how life didn't revolve around her...then I threw in the bit about kids in other countries dying of hunger and they did't whinge about owning iphones-no arguements this time she knew she was in the wrong and went straight up to her room and tidied it up , brought out all her dirty dishes, put her clothes in the laundry basket (the sure sign I knew , she was aware she had done the wrong thing). There are two ways for me to look at this. The first and most obvious is that she is spoilt and ungrateful. The second is that today she is happy to go fishing with a three dollar hand reel and a bottle of cordiol. I know that every weekend she is home playing wii and watching movies out in the garage with her friends...she isn't out smoking bongs, drinking alcohol and getting into trouble with the police....and in about 5 years time she will move out of home and someone else will be putting up with her moodiness. Some of you reading this will be shaking your heads and others will give that knowing nod which means "I know exactly what its like to have a teenager." Lord give me strength-and a double vodka!

2009-06-25T21:43:00.003+10:00

The winter chill is definately in the air now, I have got the heater blaring. I bought Emily and Ella a cute beanie and scarf each...they look so cute...buuuuutt I think Ella looks a bit bogan lol
That's the thing with 2 year olds, they have no sense of style...which is the pot calling the kettle black . When I was a teenager waaaaayyyy back in the seventies I was a style icon in my flares and platform shoes but these days I am the daggiest nerdiest thing going....in fact right at this moment I am dressed in tracky pants that are low waisted...which means half of my bum crack hangs out when I sit down, topped with one of Martins old t-shirts and pink bed socks-sexy mumma!-NOT!!!!

Ebony has been doing work experience at a child care centre all week. She comes home every day with tales of toddlers who she reckons are "psycho" and have tantrums and don't do as they are told...HELLLLOOO...When she was that age she was the queen of tantrums. She would hold her breath till she passed out, she would bite herself and pull her hair out in clumps....and the real show stopper was being able to vomit on demand...which meant if we were shopping and she wanted a toy and I said no...she would vomit...not just a little chuck but a huge dramatic chunder followed by choking. (The paediatrician told me very few children mastered that magic trick-lucky me!)

School holidays start here tomorrow, yippeee...not! Back in the good old days when the business was doing well and money wasn't an issue we could whip out the cash and shout Eb and a friend to Movie World or Dream world...but I am afraid these holidays we will be waiting for Cheap Tuesdays at the video shop for the $1 movies. I no doubt will have the boyfriend Zac (Eb's boyfriend not mine) for most of the holidays...but he is very pleasant, polite and helpful so he's no bother...in fact he is so nice sometimes I feel like keeping him...because he doesn't get PMT.

I am off to buy nit shampoo tomorrow.. a little souvenir from the childcare cantre...Ebony is scratching like mad so I am guessing we will find critters...It has been years since we have had to go through that dreadful daily ritual...from grade one to grade five it was almost a daily occurance..except in the school holdays when we would have a few weeks of nit free bliss. Those little buggars can be quite resiliant, I swear you could almost see them doing backstroke in the shampoo foam...I am surprised Ebony hasn't burnt them alive with her hair straightener...and those of you with teenage girls will know all about the hair straightening ritual. Ebonys end of the house always has the lingering aroma of singed hair.

It's been a while since I have done a quiz so I reckon I should put you all to the test

1. It's 9pm and everyone else is in bed...you are feeling a bit peckish so you head to the kitchen for a snack..do you choose

A. a few rice crackers and a glass of water

B. a cup of coffee and just one biscuit

c. a cup of coffee and nearly half a packet of biscuits

2. You put on your jeans and for some reason they don't even go close to doing up . Do you

A. Resign yourself to the fact that you have put on weight.

B. Accuse someone of shrinking them in the clothes dryer

C. Figure that if the jeans dont fit anyway you may as well eat the second half of the packet of biscuits

3. You have just finished a 9 hour shift at work and the grand kids come for a visit and want you to play. Do you

A. Go out the back and play a vigorous game of catchy

B. Tell them you will play doctors...and that you are too sick to get off the couch so they will have to come and make you better

C. Tell them Pop needs their help outside washing the ute.

4. It's the tenth call today from a pesky tellemarketer. Do you

A. Buy whatever the hell it is they are trying to flog

B. Politely decline their offer

C. Ask them what time they will be cooking dinner and when they ask why...say " so I can bloody ring you when you are in the middle of doing something"

5. Your teenager asks if you can buy them a $600 iphone. Do you

A. Say yeah sure and buy it

B. Tell them that it is an expensive item and that perhaps they should look for a little part time job and save up for one

C. Burst out laughing and tell them to rack off.

6. Your mum gives you a really ugly top she bought for you at the op shop. Do you

A. Gush about how beautiful it is and put it on straight away

B. Say 'What a shame it isn't my size but it might fit one of your sisters"

C. Tell your Mum it's crap but Hubby will use it to wash the car.

7. Your husband-when asked -says "Yes..your bum DOES look big in that". Do you

A. Shrug and figure you thought as much

B. Give him the death look and thank him for his opinion

C. Think under your breath " yeah, you baldy headed little fat bastard, you obviously forgot to look in the mirror this morning

If you answerd mostly A's...you are such a liar, no one is that nice

If you answered mostly B's ...I still think you are fibbing a bit...but good for you anyway

If you answered mostly C's...welcome to MY world!

That's all folks I am off for a cofee and half a packet of biscuits

2009-06-23T22:21:00.004+10:00

I already remembered some news lol. Just wanted to say how much I love browsing the gallery over at the Scrapheap. I think I have been a member of aussielayouts for five years or more now and through peoples layouts I have watched everyones kids grow up, followed their travel adventures, witnessed weddings and new births and made many many wonderful friends. If you want to check out the gallery just go here .

Also Julie has a great sketch challenge going on over at the A2Z Scraplets blog. You can check it out here. There is a great pricze up for grabs so you should really have a shot at it....there is a new competition every month so keep checking back. This months sketch was really pretty and I really enjoyed doing my layout...

....and by the way, no one...I mean no one si to bag me out about my music selection...cos I like it! lol

ok that really is all I remember now- as you were!

2009-06-23T21:41:00.005+10:00

Well somehow six months has slipped by since I last updated, I have no idea where that time went! This cute photo was taken at Emily's 6th birthday party which was at the end of May. She had a night time birthday party and then ten of her little friends slept over (brave on Haleys part). I took over as entertainment committee and we all had a blast doing the limbo, conga line and (much to Ebonys disgust) I taught them a few golden oldy specialty dances such as the monkey and the sprinkler...fun was had by all...although Ebony told me I was sooooo embarrassing and she wouldn't come to a kids party with me again...she is just jealous I can do the sprinkler dance better than her!
In other news Haley is expecting her third baby early October...we already know it's a girl and I for one am so happy...gotta love little girls.
I have broadened my work experience and now work a few days a week at the Surfers Paradise Golf Club as a waitress, barista and dishpig.....and I know what you are all thinking...and you are soooo right...I should NOT be a waitress lol....hard to turn corners and keep that darn food on the plate...it's just lucky my sister is the bistro manager and chef...when she sees me head back to the kitchen she just remakes the order no questions asked. Have to say I use the term barista very loosley as well, there is no way I could rock up to a coffee shop and apply for a job...this whole coffee thing is a bit of crock really...flat white, latte, Cappacino...all the same except the order of the way you pour it into the cup is a bit different...my theory anyway.
Other news...I have been sleepwalking on a regular basis...something I haven't done in years...Ebony got up at 4 o'clock one morning to find me with a feather duster in hand doing a bit of cleaning....have also been found washing the wardrobe doors in the middle of the night, quizzed by Martin as to what exactly i was wandering around the house looking for...to be told..a cigarette lighter to light the chip fryer??? (that's a bit freaky) and just the other night I woke up freeezing cold and found myself lying in the bath - no water thank God. Odd behaviour, I know it's brought on by stress but I haven't bothered going to the doctor because he would send me for tests...and I would put the referal in the glove box with the faeces jar, urine jar, colonoscopy request form, zyban prescription and blood test forms...no point really.
Thats all for now, I am sure I will think of some more news which I will add later when it comes to me!

2009-01-19T23:01:00.004+10:00

Eight months since I updated???Who could ever be that busy!! I won't bother catching you up, it is all rather boring and depressing...a new year , a new start!

I will bring only news from this year and since its only the first month it won't take long...

Thank heavens the weather has been fine for these school holidays, the pool is finally getting used...Haley brings the kids over a few days a week for a swim...Ella likes to wear her "gobbles" and do "bong dives". I head butted Emily in the pool a few weeks ago and knocked out her loose tooth...she was worried the tooth fairy wouldn't come through without the tooth as proof, so poor me spent an hour wearing MY "gobbles" looking for it in a pool..you have no idea how hard it is to find a tiny tooth when every pebble in your pool looks like one...but I found it!

I have a few jobs now which is bringing in some much needed extra dollars ...some of the jobs I like and some I really hate but that's life...The job I hate is cleaning...I do two houses a week for rellos and although I am not in a position to be picky I always thought I was above cleaning other peoples toilets...apparently not! So far I have broken a soap dish and came close to busting some fancy fangled new wave oven which luckliyI caught before I knocked it off the kitchen bench...My brother and his wife and shopping network junkies so there are always lots of gadgets at their place which they invite me to use...the latest is a machine youy stand on and it vibrates...the more you push the button the more violently it vibrates...and the longer you stay on it the more likely you are to spend the rest of the day walking around like you have hit the turps....

Another job I do for my brother and sister in law is work one day a week in their office..I suck at office work but the good thing is they suck at it too...I clean the office first and then do filing...they are the only people I know who have a whole file for traffic fines...which is full...if I am not sure where something should be filed they tell me to put it in miscellaneous....I need a whole filing cabinet for misc!! My sister in law usually rocks in around nine, paints her nails, puts ring tones onto her phone and eats donuts.....around 11 o clock she announces we have done enough and its time to go...I get paid 100 dollars for this back breaking yakka.

My next job is working at a golf club...My sister runs the bistro so she gets me in two days a week to be a waitress/kitchen hand/dishpig. Anyone who knows me well would be thinking how scary I would be as a waitress...and rightly so...my first day I lost two plates of sandwiches on the floor when I didn't negotiate a corner...also squirted coffee topping all over myself when making an iced coffee and last count I have dropped four cappacinos....I do however make lovely carrot curls on the carrot curling machine and I am very quick at unloading the dishwasher...which is probably what is saving my arse...all these jobs are a thousand times better than the job I did in November and lasted a whole two days.....the job description was

"how would you like to work with a team of friendly women in our exclusive and exciting salad packing business?" Hell yeah, I can just see me sitting on a little stool as little plastic tubs roll slowly by on a conveyor belt....me plopping a little bit of coleslaw in each tub, kidding around with the lady sitting next to me...so I applied and got the job....I don't know where the hell I got my idea of salad packing from but it was nothing like reality!!!!!!!! Six am start. Kitted out with a white lab coat, long white heavy vinyl apron, big gum boots, gloves, hair net, sleeve protectors, no jewellery, no makeup, three layers of clothing underneath...I was walked into a freezing cold room...and I mean polar ice cap....freeze the balls off a tennis court...I was introduced to Soon Yi and Mo Pong (not their real names but close enough!)who couldn't speak a word of bloody english who used gestures to indicate what I was supposed to be doing...which was grabbing between 24 and 28 grams of english spinach leaves out of a crate, weighing it and plopping into a punnet....you have no idea how hard it is to guess between 24 and 28 grams...and the whole time the supervisor is clapping her hands saying "come on ladies, chop chop"....I did this for nearly two hours when I was rescued (so I thought) to be put on crate packing...a long conveyor belt winds through the whole factory with thirty ladies packing an assortment of lettuce leaves into punnets and onto the belt....through a machine which packs in in plastic and it continues on its merry way and drops into a large tray...this is where I come in....my job is to pick up two packs at a time, pack them into a crate, 16 per crate, the writing all facing the one way, checking that the use by date is correct and that they are sealed properly.... ( the whole time my eyes are burning from bleach fumes ).... picking up the full crate running over to a pallet, stacking the crates 5 high in one direction, four high in the other direction on top of that, 150 crates in all, putting a description ticket on each crate, wheeling the full pallet into the next room, bringing back an empty pallet to start again....by which time the tray is over flowing with packets of lettuce which are spilling into the floor....OMG, HOLY FRIGGIN CRAP!! This was me for the next ten hours....and at the end of the day the boss says you did really well Bev, we normally have two people doing that job but one of the ladies is off sick....ONYA! The next day was a little easier but at the end of the day when we were hosing down the facory and scrubbing the floors I was overcome by the fumes...by the time I got home I had the worst head ache ever, my eyes were running non stop and I could barely breathe....I went to the docs the next day and he told me I had an allergic reaction to the cleaning products and I should consider leaving the job...HALLELLbloodyLUJAH!!!!!!!!! So the next time you are in the supermarket and you see punnets of lettuce leaves or spinach think of the poor bitches who work in that factory doing 12 hours shifts freezing their tits off....a footnote to this is I havnt been paid for the 2 x 12 days I worked because they are claiming your first two days are work experience....pigs arse, I will give them chop chop!! Stay tuned for that one!

Well that was rather ho hum...I will see what the next few weeks bring, maybe something more excting will happen!

2008-05-26T22:19:00.002+10:00

Jodie and Duane arrived home from their Canadian adventure last week armed to the eyeballs with heaps of lovely (and as you can see some not so lovely) photos to scrap. On their way home they stopped over in California so they went to Hollywood and Disneyland...lucky buggars. The Top photos are of Lake Louise...it looks so pretty...Jodie had three wishes when she went to Canada...she wanted to learn to snowboard, make a snowman and see a squirrell....well she sort of learnt to snowboard...did manage to make a snowman...hers is nicer than Daunes...his hasn't got a face (in case any kids are looking lol)....and she finally got to see a squirrel up close and personal when her roomy got up in the middle of the night to pee....heard a strange noise in the toilet...jumped up ...and there he was lol...apparently removing the said squirrel was a shit of a job...pardon the pun..Thay are both now looking for jobs to save up and go overseas again..they have been bit by the bug!

2008-05-26T21:35:00.002+10:00

I can hardly believe that Emily is five already...those years have gone by in a blur!!! This afternoon we had a little afternoon tea at our place to celebrate her birthday. She was impressed with all her presents...I went mad as usual...bratz doll, polly pocket, fuzzy felts, Barbie pixi under the sea play centre, Amigo computer game ( so cute...a little pet dog you have to train), clothes clothes and more clothes, princess dress ups and LOTS of hair accessories (she loves them). I couldn't give one without the other so there was a bag of goodies for Ella as well but I needn"t have bothered...she was more interested in the blow out whistles. Emily took her birthday girl role very seriously and announced that she would be eating her fifth freddo frog in a row as she was the birthday girl and she could do whatever she wanted....unfortunately for her, Dad happens to be back from the mines and told her in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't be touching any more frogs ...this really upset the apple cart and in true female form she had to go off for a while and have a big sulk.
When I took Ems photo holding up how many fingers for her age, Ella got in on the act and held up one finger and announced "two"...Such a dag that kid...she also preferred to wear her princess crown as sunnies.
We had a simple little party tea and Emily announced she was just going to eat icecream cake because she was the birthday girl and she could eat whatever she wanted....Dad once again had to pull her into line which resulted in another girly sulk. Didn't bother Ella...she tucked into her fairy bread with tomato sauce no worries. Thankfully Ebony was home to set up her new computer game which kept Emily amused for the rest of the afternoon while Ella ran amok...I gave her a torch to play with and next thing I know she is pulling down the back of my jeans and shining the torch down my pants and asking if I "do poo?" She also painted a chocolate mural on the front of the fridge, upended her icecream cake on the table and gave Pop one mighty big whack over the head with her new fairy wand...That was the cue that it was time to go home to bed. Emily announced she didn't have to go to bed because she was the birthday girl and she could do whatever she wanted ....you can guess the rest! Ah the joys of grandkids....quick pat on the head and they were on their way....I bet Haley and Joe were in for a little hyperactivity when they got home...not my fault they were sneaking freddo frogs all afternoon!!!

2008-05-11T22:53:00.002+10:00

Happy Mother's Day everyone, I hope you were all thoroughly spoilt today!!!Before I forgoet the photo is of me, my eldest Sister Jenny, Mum and Josh who is one of Mum's 20 great grandchildren. My day started with a sleep in until 8.30...pure bliss. Next were the pressies...flanny jammies from Haley, almost my national costume in the cooler weather both day and night. Martin and Ebony spent most of Saturday afternoon shopping for my gift and I have to say I never would have guessed in a million years. The first one I opened was a wooden jewellery box...Martin must have noticed the bewildered look on my face since the only jewellery I own is a watch and pair of earrings which I never take off. The next parcel was a lovely gold chain and pendant...hence the jewellery box?? Knowing how much I love completely practical things like doona covers and vacuum cleaners, Ebony explained that they never know what to but me so from now on they will be adding to the collection...lovely sentiment....but I still really love doona covers and vacuum cleaners.
We decided...or rather Martin and Ebony decided we should go somewhere special for lunch....this was at 11am not giving us much chance of finding anywhere on the Gold Coast that wouldn't already be booked out...after letting my fingers do the walking we got a reservation at The Town and Country...a local restauarant...my sil and bil came along too. Turns out theplace is brilliant and I have no idea why we have never been there before since its only a five minute drive from where we live. It was an all you can eat buffet consisting of cold seafood and hot roast and vegetables so it suited Ebony , who loves roast, my sister in law who is vegetarian and Martin who is just a guts...as I looked around at all the families gathered for a special lunch with family, I noticed they were deep in conversation, laughing and generally relaxing and having a good time...our party of five however were watching the clock waiting for the magical hour of 12 so they could rush up when the buffet started. As soon as the big hand and little hand were both on the 12, Martin and Mick did the fifty yard dash and started loading their plates with king prawns...far too many for the rather small plates. Ebony was doing her usual whinge because there was hardly anything she liked and everything looked like it had onion in it...sheesh...I told her to load her plate with the lovely looking chicken breasts ......she did and was really pissed off to find it was actually salmon...my bad! As with most all you can eat buffets, we all ate way too much, incuding one of everything in the desserts...gotta love mud cake and baked cheescake...I know for a fact that Martin and Mick both got their fifty bucks worth and although Ebony didnt eat much to start with she made up for it with dessert. All in all a great day out...of course when we got home Martin and I had a few hours nanny nap!
During the week we took Mum back home after staying with us for a fortnight. I think she had a good time, but like all people her age she loves her own place. I had warned Ebony and Martin to behave while she was here and apart from a few Eb tantys they were pretty well behaved. Mum has trouble getting around now, she has arthritus in her spine and knees, so we were pretty much house bound. I did manage to convince her to go and have a look at one of our local junk shops and she was so pleased she did....got a cheapo version of one of those spinning dusters they flog to death on those tv ads...except these ones were only 14.95 instead of the million dollars they want for the real deal. I bet she has dusted her house from top to bottom by now! While she was here she got new teeth...it turns out my neighbours father in law is a retired dental technician, so he came to the house....what service!! Took impressions on Wednesday and she had her teeth by Friday...both top and bottom and at a fraction of the cost you would normally pay...Mum hasnt had bottom teeth for 17 years so when she put her new ones in she was talking with the familiar whistle...not that I am hanging shit because I have been having a few problems myself with my bottom teeth as well. On a recent scrapbooking getaway I was eating some roast beef when I detected what I thought was a bone...I didnt panic until I realised the bone was in fact my bottom plate which had somehow managed not only to dislodge but turn completely sideways in my mouth...I discretely tried to rectify the problem, but with a mouthful of meat and pumpkin it was never going to be easy...add to that a cough that just came from nowhere and I had food AND teeth escaping my mouth which was no doubt grossing everybody out....hard to choke on your teeth without doing it loudly!!...sorry everone...you will be pleased to know I have packed the bottom teeth away for now.
I am still trying to fight off a wog I picked up along the way...snotty nose, wino cough, sinus, sneezing..the whole kit and kaboodle...went to the docs twice...on my second visit he got out the dreaded blood pressure monitor.....and before I know it I have this big long list of things to have tested at pathology including cholesterol (again) ...then he handed me a suss looking brown jar....which I have to use to provide a stool sample...yay, how I love shitting in jars!! And all this because I have a cough????????????????????PLEASE!
I had a visit from my nephew and his wife this week along with their seven year old son Josh ( he is in the photos) They had to see a child psychologist hre on the Gold Coast....Josh has mild aspergers along with a few other problems and they are currently trying to sort out his medication. Hats off to anyone who has a child with this condition, he is a real handful!! While eating the dinner I cooked he told me my cooking was shit and HIS nan cooks much better than me....also referred to my husband as fatboy rofl. We went down to get takeaway the next night and we ordered extra as Ebony had friends over,,,when they were putting food on their plates Josh asked them if they were going to pay as they shouldn't get to eat for free....Ebony was mortified.. Although he struggles with school, he certainly is good with his hands...his mum got up to go to work one morning only to find her car jacked up with all the wheels missing (cant get over that, he is only 7, I dont think I could do it!)...he also pulled his sisters laptop into a million pieces and unscrewed an aluminium strip from the whole perimetre of his pops caravan...needless to say it was lovely and quiet when they left.
Emily and Ella are as cute as ever, I see them four or five times a week...last time Joe was home Emily told him he should not have another beer...when asked why she said she is learning about the food pyramid and beer is as bad as fats and oils...the things they learn!
Martin turned 56 yesterday...along with UnderbellyUncut and a chair massager as well as his usual chocolates and licorice, he received five new shirts...all extra large as it seems I have done something to all his old shirts and they don't fit anymore.....HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish I could use that excuse!
Well it seems that even though I havent updated for 4 months I have nothing much else to tell...maybe I will have some more news for you when Jodie gets back from Canada next week...stay tuned!

2008-01-31T21:57:00.000+10:00

wwwoooooohooo, yeehaa, uh huh uh huh uh huh.....I am mildy excited about the kids being back to school, are you?? This year Ebony and her cousin Cody are in year ten, I truly never thought I would see the day!! Shopping for school goodies was relatively painless this year...well apart from the shoes, that one is always torture. Ebony has a knack for wanting shoes that haven't even been invented yet which usually means trekking to every shoe shop, sporting shop and surf shop within a twenty mile radius. After thirty odd shops I was prepared to pay a million dollars but as it turns out they were only 100 dollars...and just in case you want to know what's hot this year it is DC's ...Of course that means nothing to me, they are white sneakers with blue letters and I probably could have found something very similar in KMart...then again I am not 14 and I have very GAY taste.

My tiny little Emily started Prep this year...where the hell did that time go??? I jumped ahead of mum and got her a very cute canvas Bratz bag, cool white Bratz sneakers (not DC's and only 25 bucks lol), you beaut shiny black school shoes and a pretty pink lunch box and drink bottle. Her size 4 uniform swims on her and I had to adjust the skorts to make them stay up but she looks cute in it all the same...the photo is from after school so her hair is looking a little bit naff but she still looks pretty excited.

Having wet school holidays sucked big time. Every day I had a housefull of bored loud hungry kids (um why do they always come here???). I struggled to keep up with chips and drinks and got very used to having the tv blaring with MTV. I would like to take this opportunity to warn parents to ban the following programs...My Sweet 16...a show about rich little yanky kids whose parents spend thousands and thousands of dollars on their kids 16th birthdays, usually hiring a prominent rapper for entertainment at the venue and then presenting their spoilt brat with a mercedes sports car...dream on I say, a pool party is about as good as it will get around here and maybe a Datsun 120Y. The other show (which was the boys favourite) was Jackass....a whole heap of dickheads pulling ridiculous dangerous stunts...I really hated that one because as soon as it finished I would be out the front yelling "Cody get off the roof with your skateboard" or "Chris, if you wrap your face with Gladwrap you WILL die" Sheesh bring back the Simpsons, at least it was harmless.

Martin has almost finished his two weeks holiday...(of which he has so far worked 9 days) We were going to go and stay at the Sunshine Coast for 2 weeks but somehow that fizzled....We managed a day at Burleigh Beach....Martin and I both hate the beach but Ebony and Chris really really wanted to go..before we left they wanted to buy a boogie board but Dad wasnt going to be conned into a major shopping centre so we stopped off at our local Woolworths and gave them 10 minutes to find a boogie board each...they came back to the car with very long faces...they bought the last two... Ebony got a pink one with a Maui Girl logo ( which is SO not Quicksilver) and Chris seriously lucked out with a Wiggles one (try walking down the beach with one of those trying to look cool!) They both seemed to have a good time although they probably would have preferred it if I didnt spend the whole day on the edge of the water telling them to move back between the flags, don't go out so far, come and put a tshirt on so you don't get belly rash, sunscreen time!! We had lunch at a cafe on the boardwalk and Ebony was horrified when I ordered a burger....I pulled my knife out of my bag (I carry it everywhere) and cut it into tiny bite sized pieces (yep the new teeth are still giving me grief...anything not sloppy is challenging!!) I think thats why she moved to another table lol.

Another outing which was surprisingly successful was to Tropical Fruit World. I thought after the thrills and spills of the theme parks, Eb and Cody would find it boring, but they had a fantastic time and learned heaps of interesting facts...did you know pineapples and bananas are not fruits but herbs?....neither did I! We took a tractor ride through the plantation and at one stage stopped near macadamia bushes so eveyone could get out and gather some....I saw Cody heading back towards the tractor with a big handful so I pulled out my camera and yelled out "Cody , stand over there and show me your nuts" Everyone burst out laughing and I didnt know why until Eb pointed out my embarrassing blunder..

Our last outing of the school holidays was to Aussieworld at the Sunshine Coast. The kids racked off and deserted Martin and I as soon as we got there so we headed off for a game of mini golf...it was so darned hot I fainted on the 16th hole....Martin was flapping around like a chook not knowing what to do ...he eventually ran and got me a drink which was a relief...but we still had to finish the last two bloody holes...I hate that game they need bigger holes I reckon!

Ebony begged me to go on the Wild Mouse ride , which really didnt look too bad...I have been on all the rides at the other theme parks including the Lethal Weapon, Giant Drop and wipeout so I figured it would be a piece of cake...I figured wrong, it was the scariest bloody thing I have ever been on and I very nearly lost my teeth...again again Eb begged .... NO WAY!!!! She settled for a ride on the octopus....note to self....if you suffer vertigo, do not ride on things that spin.....I hopped off the ride and 3 days later I am still spinning!

I had to go for an eye test the other day....she knew I had high blood pressure and cholesterol just by looking at the blood vessels in my eyes...that freaked me out a bit, I am making a very concious effort to eat properly now...when I went to pick up my new glasses I told the receptionist there had been a mistake...I had paid extra money to have the lenses ground down thinner...she pointed out they had been ground down....to coke bottle thickness!! Holy crap I must be almost blind. When the optomitrist tried them on me she said in the near future I should consider blepharoplasty as I have hooded eyelids and my right one is obscuring my peripheral vision....I said yes...then came home and looked up blepharoplasty on the internet as I didnt have a clue what it was.....an eyelid lift, now why couldnt she have just said that! Dunno about that one, I will ponder for a while...I have seen this procedure on the health channel and it kinda looks like a circumcision of the eyelid...thats gotta hurt!

Since having my teeth done I have lost five kilos...I need to lose at least that much again...it really is an unpleasant experience getting dentures...a few weeks ago we took Martins mum to the pokies for a bit of an outing before she had to fly back to Melbourne...it got to 2.30 in the afternoon and I hadnt had a thing to eat all day...I went to a vending machine and bought a pack of Cadbury choc ball thingys... I sat down at my poker machine and put a couple in my mouth and bit down....to my absolute horror my top teeth somersaulted out of my mouth and landed in the coin tray....i retrieved them like a rocket but in my embarrassed haste I was trying to put them in upside down...they were coated in chocolate......and well the whole scene was very ugly....I use hold tite powder now to glue them in each day till I get a relign in 5 months time.

Well thats about all the shame and scandal I have for now, I was going to try and change my music but I forget how to do it lol...catch you all later!

2007-12-22T22:31:00.000+10:00

There are only two words I fear at Xmas time and they are "assembly required" This year I bought Emily (amongst lots of other things) a lovely big wooden doll house. Normally it wouldn't bother me that it had to be made up as thats Joes job but since he won't be home for xmas and since Haley is clueless in that department, I felt obliged to do the right thing...
I was pleased to see the screws were all separated out in a plastic box with compartments...however none of them looked like the screws in the picture diagrams so there was a lot of "process of elimination" throughout the whole procedure...thankfully each wooden piece was numbered which helped but I am not the greatest at following instructions so what I thought would take an hour actually took 4 hours and several times I blew a poofer valve and had to go outside and have a smoke to calm down...Emily will love it, it even has a lift for heavens sake....a far cry from the dollhouse I had as a kid made from a toilet roll box.
Ebony was been diligent at changing the numbers on the advent tree every morning and I can't believe it is only 3 more sleeps till santa comes...I am so ready for this, I can't wait to see everyones face when they unwrap their gifts.....may I add that Ella has already started to unwrap several of them none of which were hers.
We have decided on our xmas menu..prawns, chicken and honey glazed baked ham..the ham was my idea even though none of us are really into ham....but I really want to to the whole diamond criss cross thing with the cloves..looks so cool...they couldnt decide on one dessert so we are having the usual pav and trifle and this year we are adding triple choc honeycomb log...I have had a practice run and its yum...not that I should even care as I wont be able to eat it anyway.
Jodie emailed me a few days ago and said she had received her care package...she loved everything but was most excited about the milo....they seem to be loving it in Canada, Duane earned 800 dollars in tips when he helped out as barman during the world cup.....Jodie had been promoted and is now supervisor of her department and gained a payrise to....wait for it......$10.20 per hour!! She also got employee of the month which earned her a restaurant meal, a $70 gift voucher and a 3 hour snow boarding lesson.
Martin intends to take three days off for Xmas..woopdeedoo, he isnt big on the whole relaxing holiday thing, he would much rather go to work...but I think he will take a week off at the end of JAnuary so we are trying to find a holiday destination that will suit all of us...Martin hates the beach or anything even remotely related to water or fishing or anything that separates him from his big screen tv....I hate anything that resembles camping or roughing it....Ebony hates anywhere without access to a power point to her hair straightener and needs to be in close proximity to major shopping centres...as expected we havent been able to think of anything that suits all of us...in fact I reckon we should just stay at home because it meets all of the above criteria.
Thats all for now as I need to get an early night as I want to be at the shops at opening time tomorrow to do my xmas food shopping...my list is a foot long and I know th ecrowds will be out in force. Merry Christmas everyone, enjoy the day with your family and I hope Santa comes to each and everyone of you , even if you have been naughty...see you next year!

2007-12-22T22:17:00.000+10:00

The dental work is all over folks, on Thursday I had my remaing top teeth removed and an upper and partial lower denture fitted...I was in agony for three or four hours but after that (touch wood) I was shocked to find myself pain free and now a few days later still pain free...I have to say the first time I removed the top denture to rinse my mouth I honestly almost fainted...it looks like I have been shot in the mouth..no joke, I still cant believe something that looks that bad isn't causing pain.The upside is (now the swelling has gone down) the teeth are quite realistic and dont look very fake....the downside is I talk with a terrible speech impediment and it is impossible to eat...it either hurts or I simply cant chew with them yet....since wednesday night I have had two bowls of runny porridge and a small tin of creamed rice...and eating that was an ordeal...Martin keeps asking me questions that require an answer with an S word which I simply cannot manage....you cant say s words with new dentures...So I wont have toothache for xmas...but I also wont be eating xmas dinner either!

2007-12-04T21:52:00.000+10:00

This is as good as it gets as far as a xmas photo shoot with Miss Ella...she wouldn't co operate at all- no hat, no smiles -no way! WE even tried to get her to cooperate by letting her hold the guinea pig but she choked it and made the poor thing throw up..end of story...However I did manage a couple of cute ones of Emily.
So excited that it is only 21 sleeps til Santa comes!! The tree went up at the end of November, I give in every year. The presents (way too many) are prettily wrapped and under the tree and now we just have to await the arrival of the big guy in red. Emily is here for a sleepover tonight...she was looking at the animated Santa we have who holds a list in his hand and she asked Pop to read the names on his list...Pop rattled off the names of everyone including Ella (they were not the real names on the list) and Emily asked...Pop, isn't my name on there? Pop replied, "no it doesn't look like it" Emily placed her hands on her hips most indignantly and said, "How COULD he leave me off that list, I wasted my time being good!" We just about wet ourselves laughing.
I sent a care package to Jodie and Duane in Canada...hope they like their bloody milo - it cost me $79.50 in postage lol! I included some anzac biscuits, twisties, vegemite, milo along with chocolates, xmas decorations and green and gold aussie xmas hats and stockings...well not for Duane -he hates xmas so I sent him a black santa hat that says Bah humbug on the front. Did I mention that when Duane arrived they had changed his job...he is the portaloo guy...rofl, I will call him Kenny from now on..they seem to be enjoying themselves despite the fact that if they go jogging in the park they have to carry bear spray???Let me tell you, if you are close enough to a bear to spray it you would much rather be carrying a shot gun I reckon!
It seems I have started sleep walking again which is a worry...a few weeks ago I woke up standing next to the clothes line in the back yard and a few nights after that Martin heard the front door open, so he got up to investigate and I was off down the driveway (thank God I don't sleep in the raw!) I am shit scared of the dark, so as you can imagine it freaks me out. I was a nightly sleepwalker when I was kid, so bad mum used to have to give me sleeping tablets. When I was 11 I went into hospital to have my tonsils out...I terrified all the other kids in the ward so badly they had to restrain me in my bed. I only do it occasionally now thank heavens.
I would like to congratulate Sue Jones on becoming a Nanna for the first time to a beautiful grand daughter. You will love the job Sue! I have compiled a few tips
1. Only buy outfits if they are in colours that are easy to match up to patterned papers and embellishhments
2. If the baby is screaming and can't be settled, offer to help...when you become a Nanna you are given some sort of magical power that puts babies to sleep even though nothing ever worked with your own kids
3. Respect the fact that the parents would prefer the child not to have lollies....which means you have to hide the M&M's when they are around, then hope to God the kid doesn't point to the pantry and ask for a lol lol
4. Resist the urge to impulse buy cute toys.......for at least a minute then whip out the cash
5. Remember when they are old enough to ask for a sleepover that once you say yes they will never ever ever walk in the door for a visit again without an overnight bag.
6.Cute overnight bags can be purchased at Target or Kmart
7. You can say no all you like, but once they drop that bottom lip you will say yes quick smart
8. Expect to be the guest of honour when they have seniors day at Kindy
9. Hundreds and thousands on honey toast is acceptable for breakfast
10. YOUR grand kid is way cuter than anyone elses, even when they are being naughty!
Talk to you all soon

2007-11-08T21:44:00.000+10:00

oops no photo, haven't had the camera out for a while! Well they are off...Jodie and Duane I mean, they left for Canada over a week ago...Big old tough me thought I would be fine and dandy and glad to claim our garage back but when the time came to say goodbye I was a blubbering mess.....I have had several emails since their arrival....food seems to be a big issue with them, they hate the grub where they are staying....the bus into the big town only comes once a week so they headed off to the corner store hoping to find some food more to their liking...jodie thought some tinned soup would be nice....beef and veg or pumpkin but the only ones on offer were clam chouder or chicken fajita....plan B was baked beans but they contained maple syrup so they settled on a box of Special K...seems the familiar packaging was about as far as it went because Jodie reckons the cereal looked like squashed up rice bubbles....I think its already time for a care package!!! On their second day they were going to go for a jog in a park but there were warning signs not to venture off without bear spray so that kind of killed that idea lol!! Also lucked out on accomodation, they were hoping for a room with just the two of them together but its Jodie, Duane and six other lads all in the one dorm, certainly must be cosy!
Things have certainly been hectic here, we have had Martins Mum come up from Victoria to stay again along with his sister who is over from Scotland and also his Aunty Betty and Uncle Eric...I thought I had the scottish accent sussed but their lingo had me puzzled many a time over the last few weeks...tarties are not jam tarts as I suspected but potatoes.....if you dee you are dead and if something has slaver o'er it dont touch it!!! It means its covered in saliva!!!!!!!!!!!!! nor yull nor means no you won't and the Scots really do say och aye!! Martin talked his sister Edith into making him a suet dumpling while she was here.....one of his all time faves, but I guess its an aquired taste..
I wasn't far out with my prediction, little Miss Ella is now walking....dont they look cute when they first start, like little robots with arms out and stiff straight legs....Ella isnt a nannies girl like Emily (not yet any way) if I put my hands out to pick her up she shakes her head"no! I thought I had finished my xmas shopping for the two littlies but Kmart had smart cyles on special the other day so I just had to grab one....do you know the ones I mean...its like an exercise bike for kids that hooks up to the tv and it looks like you are riding down the road, the faster you pedal the more points you get...now theres an idea for adults...I am sure if I was on an exercise bike with a picture of KFC on the screen in front of me I would pedal my guts out!!
While I was away at SWIG a few weeks ago MArtin and Ebony went off to Amart and bought a new leather lounge suite which was delivered yesterday... I was hanging out for a new one but after sitting on this one I am not so sure....without the worn in bum groove you sit up really high and my feet dont touch the floor...Martin hates it but doesn't say much because he chose it... I am sure it won't be long before we wear it in...the old suite was moved into....wait for it...the pool room! Well not exactly the pool room but the newly vacated double garage...Martin isn't taking any chances on having more freeloaders...I mean family taking up residence in there...so he is filling it up with as much stuff as possible...since it is detached from the house we thought it would make a great games room...Martin has wanted a pool table for ever so he bought a second hand one out of the Trading Post ...we decided that since it would be mostly Eb and her friends using it we didnt want to spend a lot of money on a flash new one in case it got wrecked...he got a 8 x 4 slate one that he haggled the guy down to 500 dollars which is pretty reasonable since the felt is ok just a bit faded and it came with a heap of accessories....aaahhh but then we had to find a way to get it home and the only choice we had was one of the few removalists who do that sort of thing, so another three hundred dollars to bring it three suburbs over....so on Saturday it will be going straight to the pool room...
Among all the chaos over the last few weeks we threw in a bathroom reno, the ensuite this time....we still had tiles left over from the last bathroom so it was just a matter of a new vanity, shower screen and dunny...our old dunny has a cracked base...Martin is blaming me...smartarse!! The tiling is all done but the other stuff is yet to be installed, its on the to do list.....along with our half painted exterior walls, the garden shed which still doesnt have a floor, the roofless pergola, the pool solar heating which is flapping all over the roof and the vanity in the other bathroom which still hasnt been finished properly...Poor Martin just doesnt have enough hours in the day....and at the moment he is suffering a severe case of gout....He gets it often but it usually only lasts three or four days at a time....this time it has been more than a week and he is suffering badly....which in turn is making me suffer...the tablets he takes make him quite ill and give him the runs...for some reason he feels it neccessary to give me a blow by blow account every time he goes to the john...waaaay too much information....
My mouth is still giving me buggery, it was just starting to be bearable and then I got mouth ulcers, by the crikey those things hurt and the stuff I have to paint on them tastes like a cross between metho and savlon...yuck!!!! and in another few weeks the rest of the painfull process takes place...these bloody false teeth better be worth it...THats if I even go back to the dentist, I have become used to chewing on the few teeth I have left, I am not sure if I can go through it all again..Santa if you are listening, all I want for xmas are a few back teeth lol
I wish you were all here the other day to witness my dog surfing....it was a stinking hot afternoon so Martins Mum, sister and I decided to dangle our legs in the pool...For the last few years thats as far as I have gone into the water but it was just so damn inviting, the kid in me burst free...Emily has a blow up dalmation pool floatie that looked just perfect for surfing on....I positioned it near the edge, took a flying leap onto it and made it almost to the other end. What fun!! I did it so many times the poor dog got a puncture but it was well worth it...I also had a go at hand stands and water ballet....very difficult to do when wearing wet denim pants and tshirt...thank god we had no unexpected visitors...the down side is I ended up with a horrific earache that night which reminded me why I dont swim.....the last time I ended up with a severe ear infection I had to go to the doctors every day for a fortnight to have a fresh antiseptic wick packed in my ear...I went to bingo one night and couldnt hear so I started to removed the packing and it looked like a magicians magic hanky trick, it just kept coming and coming and coming.....
News in brief
1. Now that Jodie has gone I have to work out how to do the tricky bookwork stuff she used to do for me...I should have listened more closely when she tried to explain things
2. It is difficult to cook for gout suffers when they cant have red meat, oily fish, shellfish, tomatoes, oranges, cabbage, peas and a million other things
3. There is NO foolproof way to empty the styrofoam balls from bean bags that require washing
4. When the tiler says the grout and sealer is still wet you shouldnt be tempted to touch it to see if that really is the case
5. DVD cases left on the floor make excellent skates if you accidently happen to stand on one...please dont try this at home because if the dvd happens to be inside the case it will cost you thirty bucks at the video shop when you return it broken in half
Thats all folks, catch you later!

2007-10-17T05:34:00.000+10:00

Jodie had a practice run through packing her back pack for Canada (they leave in less than 2 weeks). I commented that she had done a good job till she pointed out she hadnt packed any toiletries, jumpers or shoes.....I think she may need to practice some more! Jodie weighs 42 kilos, the back pack at this stage weighs about the same...I hope they dont have to walk too far.
Day 6 after having my teeth out and I have to say it has been horrendous, I thought things would be much better by now..The pain is unbearable, I have never cried so much, what a sook. I went back a few days ago and had the holes dressed...that meant more needles...bastard!!! The only light at the end of the tunnel for me was the thought of losing weight, but guess what..I have gained over a kilo!!!!!!! I have no idea how that has happened I am living on fresh air and slop through a straw, this totally sucks...I am also constipated from all the pain killers (gives a whole new meaning to full of shit lol) Yesterday I ate....or rather sucked half a packet of licorice and downed a bottle of prune juice...hopefully today I will catch up with my back log...needless to say I wont be leaving the house today.
After months of nagging I think I have found a way to convince Martin we need a new lounge suite. The one we have is 11 years old and although the couch is still ok, Martins recliner chair is a disgrace. The leather is worn off the arms, it has two big holes and it has the most annoying squeak. The other night while he was watching tv he started slapping himself all over....he was covered in ants...and no wonder, he is forever tucking chocolate wrappers down the side of his chair and the king ant has finally discovered the mother lode. Martin absolutely loathes ants!!!!!After spraying almost a whole can of fly spray he got rid of the ants but it got me thinking I could plant some half sucked lollypops down the side of the chair....he would never cope and I just know he would suggest we get a new one....I am not devious by nature but desperate times call for desperate measures!!!
I have noticed the shops have all their xmas decorations out already, I got Emily and Ella some cute xmas shirts and hats yesterday. I have all the grandies laybys paid for (except for 1 dollar so I dont have to pick them up yet) I have also put a few things away for Ebony but I will leave most of her stuff untul just before xmas...she changes her mind too much. I would really love to get her a camcorder as I know she would have a ball with it...the only downside is I just know she will go out of her way to catch me doing something stupid, I have already featured on her myspace doing hula hoops much to her friends amusement.
Last night I thought I would have a hot oil bath in the hope it would help me to sleep. I ran a nice deep bath with a generous squirt of Avon skin so soft bath oil...love the smell of that stuff. Had a long soak and even shaved my legs which were getting to the mohair stage. I had forgotten how lovely it was to relax like that...the end of the bath reminded me why I dont do it very often. After a five minute struggle to pull out the plug I stood up forgetting how slippery a bath can be when it is full of oil....did a very graceful slip and slide act which ended with me flat on my bum...that hurts....and then I had to clean the bath because my leg hairs had left a lovely black hairy ring around ....so I ended up smelling like spray and wipe instead of bath oil....unfortunately it didnt induce sleep so I stayed up all night watching Judge Judy, Forensic Files and Columbo.
My sister -in -law has decided to have a lower face lift..Martin, who is totally tactless told her its a waste of money...that people who are 58 are meant to have wrinkles...she couldnt give a hoot what her brother thinks and is going ahead with it....the other day she took the first step and had botox injected around her eyes and in her forehead...why anyone would willingly allow someone to poke needles in their facce is beyond me, however she is thrilled with the result...I on the other hand find it confusing....I cant tell if she is angry or happy, her facial expression looks the same for both emotions....which leads me to think you shouldnt consider having this procedure if you have teenage kids....its the facial expressions that let them know you are as mad as hell....difficult to do if your face is a blank canvas
Well thats about it for now, I will catch up again soon

2007-10-12T22:28:00.000+10:00

Thursday was a very busy day around here!! Miss Ella turned one, which astounds me as that time has flown by so fast. My prediction that she would be walking before her birthday turned out to be a fizzer, but she is very close. Haley and Joe bought the girls around in the morning to have birthday cake which as usual was very gooey so I could get good photos lol. Ella loved her presents...a fisher price push along thingo that converts to a little bike and 12 new outfits and other assorted small toys....Emily also scored as I just cant bring myself to buy one without the other so she got some new clothes and a "pretend" stainless steel kettle and toaster...I might add that in the weeks leading up to Ellas birthday both girls got gifts every time they visited because I would buy stuff but couldnt wait till the big day...so new swimmers, shoes and books...just as well I only have two grandies, I would soon go broke.

That was the fun part of Thursday, in the afternoon I was off to the dentist for major dental work...I cant remember if I have mentioned I am getting dentures, so this was the start of the whole process.....This is going to sound very "poor me" but after the pain I have endured I am entitled to have a bitch and you will all pay attention, I demand you listen to what they did to poor little old me!!!

I had to have all my back teeth out (which leaves me with six top front and six front bottom till the next stage of the process).

Seven extractions in total, had the gas full bore and 10 injections in various parts of my mouth...In my usual dramatic form I thought I was going to choke on my tongue so I went through the whole gagging and arm flapping bizzo until the dentist convinced me there was nothing to choke on and then we were under way. The first two teeth came out easily...piece of cake...then the next two took forever and I sensed problems when has asked two assistants to hold my head so he could get a better grip. Despite everything being totally numb I thought my jaw was going to crack in half, it was horrid!! My worst ever dentist visit!!

I now reside on the couch with the panadeine forte in easy reach...I cant eat anything though I did attempt some KFC potato and gravy tonight as I was starving..that was sheer hell as I have big splits on both sides of my mouth, I look like a friggin ventriloquist dummy... all I can really manage is luke warm coffee which I drink through a straw. One panadeine forte normally puts me in a coma but this time they are doing little and I have been awake since 5 am thursday morning and it is now 11 pm friday night. I feel like I have been kicked in the face and my mouth tastes like a sewer..there I feel so much better that you all listened, I think everyone is sick of hearing it around here!!

Just for a little more drama, I received a big envelope from Telstra yesterday...my bill...which was too bulky for a normal envelope.....normally my monthly home phone bill is around 165 a month...this one was $657.27...and the reason??? Ebony ringing skater boy on his mobile...sometimes up to 20 times a night...I left this one up to Dad to sort out, I was too out of it for sensible arguing...He marched up to her room and knocked very loudly on the door...

"Ebony , you are not to ring Chris on his mobile, we just got a very expensive bill"

"OK Dad"

...and that was it, nothing else , nada, no further comment, no punishment, no please explain"

I reached for another panadeine forte and waited for the pretty patterns to happen in my head.

News in Brief

*Our water tank was installed on Tuesday...it is already half full...yay!

*Martin bought a hard lid for his ute (his midlife crisis black XR8 with personalised plates) for those who dont know what a hard lid is...or if you are like me and couldnt really give a fiddlers fart....it is a solid lid instead of a vinyl tonneau cover....the purchase price of $1800 did not include the tiny packet of things that look like brads to plug up the holes where the clips for the tonneau cover used to be...an extra sixty dollars for those! Note to self...the next time he dares sling off at me about what I "waste" on scrapping, point out my tiny packet of brads only cost $2...and my scrapping tote doesnt have a hard lid!

* Our lawn is now approximately 85 % bindii....a fact I tend to forget everytime I go to hang washing on the line in bare feet

*The 500 dollar "cashy" job Martin scored for tomorrow that he thought would be used for some chrome pipes for his ute will be going towards the phone bill.....

I am going to retire to the couch now to watch reruns of Kojak and Antiques Roadshow and dream of a time when I can chew someting solid and talk without an impediment

Thanks for listening to me moan!

2007-09-28T22:56:00.000+10:00

I must be really bored, two posts on the same night!!! I just found this picture on my camera. A few weeks ago a mother duck wandered into our yard with her five little ducklings. Emily was the first to spot them and she was so excited...actually I was too, such a novelty. They must have come from a duck pond which is four or five streets away from us. Before we knew it they had set up home in our pool area and spent happy times swimmig around in the pool...I warned everyone not to feed them and figured when it got dark, Mrs quack would take her brood back to their real home.
Woke up the next morning to find the ducks were still there...there was poo everywhere and Jodies cat was stalking them. We locked up the cat but news spreads fast and before too long every other cat in the neighbourhood was hanging out at our joint in the hopes of some finger lickin food. At one stage the mother duck ventured under the back fence taking the off spring with her. Jodie was frantic as the back neighbours have dogs. When the mother returned minus the ducklings I jokingly said to Jodie we need to say quack quack quack so all the five little ducks would come back (you all have kids, you know that little song). Jodie took me literally and stood at the back fence quacking which I thought was funny until the ducklings started appearing under the fence...Unfortunately Jodies worst fears were realised and only four of the ducklings made it back. We went to bed hoping the ducks would all be gone in the morning.WRONG!!! Still there the next day and by this time the pool looked like duck poo soup and the paths and paving areas were a mine field of hard green lumps of poo...I had no idea they could poo that much. By this time I felt we had to go into to damage control as I couldnt spend the rest of my days warding off cats and dogs. I rang the vet who told me to ring the wildlife sanctuary. They told me if we left them they would leave on their own accord and was warned not to touch the ducklings or the mother would disown them...so we left them....and they were still there the next day with double the amount of poo.I rang some more animal welfare places and got no where...even after I told them about one already being killed they just said that was nature....by this stage I wasnt really that worried about the ducks I was more concerned about the amount of faeces that was building up around the entire perimetre of the house...and that mother was mighty feisty, I couldnt even go to my own letter box without her giving me a good run for my money...a plan was devised...jodie would bring home a big box and we would catch the ducks and return them to the pond. I just wish I had some visual images of this attempt so you could get a better idea of the lunacy of this plan. We were after the mother first and then figured the little guys would be easy....five of us on the edge of the pool with pool scoops, boxes brooms and anything else that looked useful...Duane ended up in the drink and hopped out quick smart dry reaching because he has never been immersed in duck shit before.....jodie got chased by the mother and got cornered on the deck and had to be rescued by me...it was hopeless....so after much deliberation it was decided we would have to escort them back to the duck pond. Jodie and Ebony took a broom each and shooed the mother down the driveway...it worked and the ducklings followed in hot pursuit... I went only as far as the bottom of the street because I figured there was no point in all three of us looking silly, but Jodie and Eb went all the way to the duck pond. At one stage Jodie had to go into the middle of the busy road to stop traffic while the ducks crossed....It took them a couple of hours but they succeeded and they never came back (the ducks that is)
The moral of this story is ducks are only cute on the first day...after that they are lean mean pooing machines!
(Oh and in case you are wondering the broom method doesnt work on humans, I tried it on my lot and they keep coming back!)

2007-09-28T19:41:00.000+10:00

Hi all, it's been a long time between posts! I had intended to let my BLOG die a natural death...but then I got bored.
The baby of the family turned 14 on Wednesday. Eb didn't want a fancy party this year choosing instead to have some kids over for a swim during the day and a family tea at night....her choice? KFC, too easy. I must say I wasn't impressed with her choice of cake. We always get them from the cheescake shop and I usually select something with lots of cream, but Eb chose for herself this time and it was a plain old mud cake...tasted pretty good though! Skater boy came for tea as her special guest...he bought her a teddy holding a heart which says " I love you'...hope he remembers that next time she gives him a chinese burn lol.
Next week it's Jodies birthday and she will be turning 24...holy crap that time went fast. She and Duane leave for their working holiday to Canada at the end of October so she is rushing around doing all the last minute stuff. They will be working at a ski resort and only found out last week which jobs they have been allocated. Duane will be a house person in charge of salting the footpaths, porter and room service. Jodie will be working on the information desk and switch board. Both will be paid the princely sum of $8.00 an hour which is waaaaaaaayyyyy less than what they earn now....they are already trying to make friends with kitchen staff for left over food lol..After six months I bet they will be both glad to come home to warm weather and home made meatloaf!!! I will do my best to send care packages so they don't starve!
I have been out of action for over a week because of my menieres disease...for those of you who don't know what it is, it's nothing that serious but a royal pain in the neck. I get severe bouts of vertigo accompanied by vomiting from the continuous head spins along with ringing in my ears ranging from a soft swooshing noise to a big kick arse train coming...The worst part is trying to sleep because the dizziness is worse if I try to lie down and I havent mastered sleeping in an upright position. I feel like a caged animal as I havent driven the car for over a week...I am sick of tv, I can only scrap for a few minutes at a time and the house is empty during the day because everyone else around here has a life...sigh woe is me!! I am sure it will go over the next few days and I can have my life back till next time.
My Mother in law has just gone back to Victoria after a one month visit to Queensland...she usually stays with us but this time she stayed at my sister in laws as we decided amongst ourselves that witnessing one of Ebonys "outbursts" might be a bit scary for an octagenarian.....in her day that sort of thing would have been sorted out with a whip but its not the done thing in this day and age.....I thought Ebony might actually hold herself back when Nanna came to visit but she still managed to have several tantys in her company. Oh the joys...she rang me while she was out shopping today
"Mum can I get hot pink streaks in my hair"
'NO'
"Aw why, Angela is allowed to"
"bully for Angela"
"huh?"
"you cant have hot pink streaks"
"you're so gay!"
"thanks for calling Ebony, make sure you are on the 3.30 bus"
"can't I catch the 5 o'clock bus?
"no"
"aw why Angela is allowed to"
"see you at 4"
.......thinking i have already hung up
"mum sucks, she is so over protective"
which makes me wonder ....is Angela really allowed to have hot pink streaks and catch the 5 o 'clock bus or is Angela on the phone to her mother having the same conversation? They think we are stupid!
Dealing with teenage girls is almost like a form of Chinese Torture. You live in fear of their moods, their fashion sense and their demands.
Speaking of fashion sense, flouro is back....yikes! Ebony bought a tshirt the other day emblazoned with flouro pink orange and green....hide before leg warmers resurface!
News in Brief.
1. Ella can say Mum Dad and Uh oh and can stand unassisted for a few minutes...I predict she will be walking around the time of her first birthday in a few weeks
2.Emily doesn't like Taneisha at Kindy because she said she wont be her friend anymore (more serious than it sounds, Haley has had to deal with the tears all week lol)
3.Joe has been told it will be at least another two months before he can start work because of complications with his broken foot....I will discretely invite them to tea several times a week so I know they are eating properly
4. We are having our water tank installed on Wednesday...they came and prepared the cracker dust base last week...Jodies cat thinks its a huge kitty litter tray and takes a dump in there several times a day (a job for Duane)
5. There is a 'Little People Big World' marathon on the Health Channel next week. I hope to catch up on all th eepisodes I missed.
Thats all for now , talk to you all again soon.

2007-08-05T22:11:00.000+10:00

Well I sure did stand my ground with Ebony lol....The very next day I caved and got her much wanted guinea pig! I thought that maybe this time she really would be responsible if we got her a pet and so far so good. The cute little fellar at the top is Felix...I bought him the day I got the cage and all the expensive accessories....he is meek and mild, soft to touch and incredibly cute.....the next day we went looking for a playmate but after visiting four pet shops Homer was the only guinea pig available...in contrast he is big and mean and highly strung but Ebony took pity on him so of course he came home with us. I will be the first to admit that I am not really a creature person but these guys are pretty entertaining and Ebony (so far) is doing everything she should to care for them without being asked, so thats good. Now she is nagging me for a guinea pig lead so she can take them for walks....and I will buy one purely because that will make one hell of a scrapbook page! lol

I did the shopping today but Martin was disappointed because I didnt buy any cakes or desserts...I really wasnt in the mood for cooking but decided I would make some scones....I found a recipe that was just 3 ingredients...3 cups sr flour, cup cream, cup of lemonade....can't believe how good they turned out, the best scones ever!!! So if you want to make some just add the wet stuff to the flour, mix and knead and bake at 220 degrees for 10 to 15 minutes. Chuck on some jam and cream and you have everyone telling you what a good cook you are!

I normally have my big house clean on a Monday but since Martin was working all day today I decided to do a Sunday clean instead. My first annoyance was changing the sheets.....Because I am such a tight wad, I recently replaced the elastic in all my fitted sheets...unfortunately I have made the elastic a bit tight so I need four arms to get them onto the mattress....just when I think I have succeeded one of the corners decides to "ping" off which is very frustrating. After three beds my mood was black! Next horrible job was the main bathroom....don't you love how they clean their teeth and spit the toothpaste out but just leave the globs sitting in the bottom of the basin ....mixed with long hairs and caps off razors. The soap is always on the floor of the shower in a sloppy soggy state and the shower caddy is jammed with everything but the kitchen sink! In between I was running a chinese laundrey washing clothes that I had only just folded and put away the day before.....it seems that once you even try something on it has to go in the dirty washing basket....or heaven forbid you would have to fold it up and put it back in the drawer yourself. My next chore was cleaning out my kitchen drawers and cupboards... I threw away so many gadgets I never use that were just taking up space.... I had just finished doing this when Martin walked in with 2 big boxes of kitchen crap that his brother was going to put in a garage sale...he thought I might like them......they are going back tomorrow.

We had another escaped chook in the yard today so I had to call on Duane again....he thought he would be a smart alec and chase it right in my direction...you would be surpised at how fast I can run and how loud I can scream...Ebony came out to see what all the commotion was about and just about peed herself laughing until the chook headed for her and she ran into a closed door....needless to say Duane is in the bad books and when I made scones I failed to tell him until after they were all gone.

...and on a sweet note, Ebonys boyfriend bought her a present today...it was a packet of clay....she had been wanting some for ages...they made clay love hearts.....how romantic....or it was until Chris called Ebony diddums (she hates that) so she gave him a chinese burn and he went home....childish you may think???? Last night Martin bought me home a block of chocolate....we shared some then he said I shouldnt eat any more because my bum is big enough....I told him to get stuffed and he went to bed...Doctor Phil would have a field day analysing that!

2007-08-02T20:06:00.000+10:00

Note to self: do not read back through old BLOG entries!!! I feel like such a failure, all this talk of losing weight and giving up smoking...I haven't done either of the above so let's just move on shall we?

Let's see where were we...ah yes, Joe and the broken leg....indeed it was broken, he did fall from a low branch of a tree and fell on a funny angle...he was flown back home to have the operation on the Gold Coast and had to wait 10 days before the swelling had gone down enough so they could perform the surgery...he will be in plaster until at least September...Haley is so thrilled...NOT! having someone else to look after...because you know what men are like, they really play on these things.

Jodie and Duane have shelved their plans to buy a house (um that's why they were staying here rent free to save lol) and instead will be leaving at the end of November for a 6 month working holiday in Canada. It is arranged through an Australian agency, they we be working at a Ski Resort somewhere...they are not doing for the money since they will only earn between 6 and 12 dollars an hour...it's rather more for the adventure aspect....Jodie doesn't want to do office admin (which is what she does here) and has applied for housekeeping or waitressing...love to be a fly on a wall, she is as clumsy as I am and has a benign tremor in her right hand (like me also) so carrying cups of coffee will be hilarious! Duane has applied to be a bellhop....lol...wonder how long it will before the glamour wears off and they get sick of being broke and not have mummy to cook for them and do their washing! I think its a great idea and told them they should get travel out of their system before they have kids...to which they replied in unison "we won't be having kids!" I believe them too!

Ebony has been in fine form for weeks now, and her little psycho outbursts have become even more dramatic...gotta love thirteen year old girls with attitude! Her latest drama was she didn't want to do HPE as a subject (sport) this term and carried on so much and made my life so hellish I wrote a letter to the school blabbing on about how much trouble she had been having with an on going virus and how I didn't think sport was such a good idea at this time...so they changed her subject to video gaming...an all boys class where they play and review computer games.....if I thought my life was hell when she had to do sport....well it got a whole lot worse when she was put into this class lol....she sux at computer games and all the boys were giving her curry so I had to send another letter saying how much her health had improved and maybe sport would be good for her...those teachers must think I am a dead set loony...the things you do to bring about a bit of peace. The fact that I am "gay", old fashioned, don't trust her, a loser and the meanest mother in the world didn't even come into play when she ws begging me to write that second letter!.....and I know what you are all thinking....I shouldn't give in to her bratty behaviour...you are so right....however you don't have to live with her rofl!

Should probably mention the photo of the cakes??No reason, just had a cooking day...I actually like cooking but I hate the fact it takes all day and all gets eaten in one afternoon... my lot are not shy when it comes to food!

We have new neighbours over the back fence and they have chooks...no worries.. I am terrified by chooks but we are separated by a fence so I could deal with it...until the other morning when I walked into the lounge room and there standing right before me with its beady little eyes looking straight at me...was a bloody chook...I nearly passed out, but realised I had to do something so I tried to shoo it out the door.....chooks can poo while they run...very effectively in fact so I ended up with chook poo and feathers all over the place till the stupid thing finally went out the door...then I had to ring Duane to come and catch it and put it back over the fence and plug up the hole where it had found its way into our yard...great! Now I live in fear everytime I go outside to hang out the washing.

As I have been typing this I have beem listening to Ebony asking her father if she can have a guinea pig tomorrow. The fact we don't have a cage didn't seem to register as she says she will put it in a washing basket... I could hear him weakening so I interjected and told her she can't have a guinea pig tomorrow we have no cage, end of story. She told me she will never learn responsibilty if she can't even have a pet......I struck below the belt and reminded her that at the start of the year her cat had been missing 10 weeks before she even realised it was gone..........I am back to being "gay" blah blah!

Is this just happening to me??? I already know all the people who have perfect children but is there anyone else out there who puts up with this kind of crap...please I am begging you come forward and cleanse your soul and make me feel better..lie if you have to!

Those little grandies of mine are sure growing up fast aren't they! Emily still comes for a sleepover at least once a week. Last time she was here I spotted her doing something naughty (I saw it in the reflection of the oven)...when I scolded her she was shocked how I knew so I told her I had eyes in the back of my head. This fascinated her so she tested me a few times to see if I knew what she was doing (and I did because I could see it in the reflection)...she stood there gobsmacked and then tried it out herself and sadly told me the eyes in the back of her head must be blind. I told her only Mum's and Nannys have eyes in the back of their heads lol. Gotta love gullible kids!

Six weeks ago I paid for a three month membership to the gym and I went for the first time yesterday..better late than never...for the first week I am supposed to do 5 minutes on the rowing machine, 10 minutes on the exercise bike, 5 minutes on the cross tainer and 10 minutes on the tread mill, then repeat.....My first day I did the rowing machime, exercise bike, the cross trainer hurt too much so I quit after one minute, did five minutes on the treadmill and decided to skip dpoing it all again...but today I felt guilty so I decided to go back and try harder....when I got the the Police Youth Club (where the gym is) the car park was chockers with police cars and there was a channel nine news crew at the door...I wasn't sure what to do , didn't know if I should enter then thought buggar it I will just walk in now....just as some important police union official was walking out and the camera crews were all scuffling for photos and here am I with my daggy trackies on water bottle in hand dodging microphones and flashes and cameras...lol, they must have edited me out because I wasn't on the news tonight. Damn, I missed my big chance to be famous!

I had to clean the salt cell on the pool the other day, it had been ages since I had done it and it was completely clogged with salt....made it nice and clean then screwed on the cap but unfortunately when I turned everything back on it was leaking like a sieve. I went to take the lid back off to check it out and the lid would not budge. I put on some rubber gloves so I could get a better grip but I still couldn't get the damn thing off. Asked Duane if he could get it off but nope, no luck...thinking it was buggared anyway I thought I would tap it with a hammer to see if I could loosen it...but still no luck. I called the pool shop and they said they would send someone over to look at replacing the whole salt cell thingy...The guy came and unscrewed it first go...so remember folks clockwise to do something up and anticlockwise to undo...it cost me thirty bucks to find that out!!!

Talk to you all again soon

2007-06-15T21:37:00.000+10:00

I will enjoy this touching picture of my two sweet little grandies while it lasts because experience tells me in a few years time they will do nothing but fight with each other....
weight update...dont ask
I will try to catch up in no particular order. My sister-in -law Hazel flew over from Brunei this week for a brief visit....before she came she asked if her sister Linda and I could arrange to find a place to buy some wigs as the humidity in Brunei makes her hair frizzy (yeah I know!) and a hairdressers with a colour specialist...cost unimportant...We found a wig place on the Gold Coast close to where we live so that part was easy...choosing one was another story! Long and curly, short and hip, human or synthetic, hand stitched or machine stitched part, there were way too many options...In the end she couldn't decide between 2 so I told the sales assistant she would take both lol...and she did.
The hairdressers we chose for her took quite some research...all the ones I go to have "budget" somewhere in the title which just wouldnt have cut it on this occasion...pardon the pun..we finally settled on "Tony and Guys" which had a definate gay ring to it and the price list suggested first class. Linda and I were told to come back in an hour and a half which meant we had to amuse ourselves...with hardly any cash...boring!! after several cappacinos and a quick wander around some very classy clothes shops that were definately not us we went to get Hazel only to be told she would be another 2 hours ...Holy Crap we should have just taken her to Supercuts! So like a couple of street urchins we killed the next couple of hours with more coffee and some scratchy tickets freezing our bums off. When Hazel finally emerged her hair did look rather nice but when she said it cost $340 dollars for a trim and colour I almost passed out. For that much money I could outfit myself with an entire wardrobe of clothes...guess that means I am cheap and nasty lol. I would never make a successful posh person I'm afraid!
Went back to the doctor for the first lot of test results...They handed me my chest xrays when I got to reception and the whole time I was waiting to see the doc I was shaking like a leaf as there was some illegible red writing on the front which I was convinced was serious as I had spent the last fortnight convinced I have lung cancer (would explain the back pain and awful cough) ...turns out my lungs are fine and the abdominal ultrasound was also clear. Then came the blood test results...seems I am in the beginning stages of menopause...I kind of guessed that...and in his words...I am a heart attack waiting to happen....my cholesterol is terrible and my blood pressure was even worse than my last visit...he told me that I needed to stop stressing over things so much as it affects my blood pressure...I told him fine, I will deliver my tax bill (due last week) to him and let him deal with it...I would also drop off my 13 year old while I was at it...so now I have to start on Zyban next week in the lead up to giving up smoking and he wants me to join a gym to assist me in losing weight and lowering my cholesterol...hopefully also reducing my stress and improving my posture which is causing my back ache....all this news just proved my theory that you should never go to the doctor...I only went because I was getting headaches and now all of a sudden I am a stressed out wreck! Could I also add that when I got home Martin asked how I went and when I told him he started ranting about how "told you you shouldnt worry blah blah, those bloody cigarettes blah blah, you dont exercise enough blah blah, if I had a stress meter on my forehead it would have popped!
So this brings me to the following question....how the bloody hell do you reduce stress when
1. Your tax bill is overdue and you dont have a hope in hell of paying it in the near future (too late for planning ahead so dont tell me that lol)
2. your teenage daughter comes to you at 10 o'clock on Sunday evening and informs you she has an assignment due the next day and she hasn't even started it yet
3. you are trying to cook three different meals at tea time because no one likes the same things
4. The phone is ringing, someone is at the door, something is boiling over on the stove and you are trying to attend to all three things because SOMEONE is watching the football
5. You accidently throw a red sock in with a load of white school shirts
6. Your husband rings to ask if you remembered to pay his Public Liability Insurance and you lie and say "Yes of course"......and then he says good....can you fax the receipt to these five builders (yikes)
7. You are driving along and start freaking out because the temperature gauge is way up so you do an emergency lane change to pull over...then you realise you are looking at the fuel gauge
8. Your teenager needs new winter clothes (probably THE most stressful thing I endure is shopping with Ebony)
9. You realise that by this time next week you will be giving up smoking
10. You go to someones Blog and have to do word verification after you leave a comment (I have never done this successfully first attempt!)

Haley rang this morning to say Joe has broken his foot at work....we were imagining all the scenarios that could have lead up to this... falling down a mine shaft....a drilling rig trapping his foot....turns out he was sent to Broome to pick up a machinery part and while he was there he fell out of a tree????????????? Not sure if workers comp will cover this! He flies home tonight has to go straight to a hospital for surgery..while he is here we may just have to ask what the hell he was doing up in a tree in the first place lol.

Martin came home from Bunnings last weekend with a garden shed...UNASSEMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!! Invited over his brother and brother- in - law to set it up...Crikey what a fiasco!!! As they were putting it together it became apparent that it was WAYYYY bigger than he thought, we only wanted something to put the lawn mower and pool cleaning stuff in....we have ended out with something large enough to rent out...it is sitting on a quirky angle up near the back fence waiting for a concrete slab...which I am almost certain you are meant to do first....but what would I know....my favourite part is the door which has all the support brackets on the outside instead of the inside....again what would I know....so $600 for a shed, $50 for two cartons of beer which was the payment to his off- siders, $50 for meat for a barbecue because they were very hungry after a full day of assembly and $25 dollars for drill bits to replace the ones Martin threw away in a fit of frustration...and the mower and pool stuff is still out in the weather because we have to wait till the shed has a floor...Lord have mercy!
See you all next week!

2007-06-01T22:02:00.000+10:00

I have just realised that on shopping day I throw away as much food as I put away…a lettuce seems to be a stock standard item I seem to buy every week, but apart from a couple of leaves the rest of it ends up getting tossed along with the half tomatoes, containers of milk with just a bit left in the bottom and several bread packets with a few slices left in each. If I had chooks they would be in their element…however chooks scare me to death so that isn’t an option. My kids laugh at the way I shop…Haley calls me a turbo shopper, I just zoom along tossing things in…there is no point taking my time as my lot are very set in their ways so brand switching is out…only Heinz baked Beans, Cottonelle toilet paper, Cashmere Bouquet soap….I have on occasion tried to be daring and try new brands but they veto them so the next week I have to buy their favourites again…. I am just as bad really as the other day Jodie pointed out I have a thing for lavender…never realised it before but I buy lavender soap powder, lavender soap, lavender dishwashing liquid….I always thought lavender was an old lady thing so I guess I am officially a lavender loving old lady…it could be worse, I could go for Lilly of the valley
Ebony had her boyfriend over for tea tonight…a bit of a spur of the moment thing…we had sausages and steak done on the barbeque, potato bake, baked pumpkin, savoury bread and corn….I think it was a bit of a culture shock for him, they are obviously more civilised at his house…as soon as the food hit the table everyone dove in Simpson style, digging spoons into the potato bake and dropping corn all over the table, you would swear they had never been fed!! It didn’t take him long to work out that if he didn’t hurry up he would miss out! While I was setting the table I realised I need to buy some household items….we are drinking out of glasses (that used to be filled with jam and Nutella) with Disney pictures on them… not very classy….nor are the mismatched dinner plates, survivors of three different dinner sets…and I don’t own a table cloth (used it for a drop sheet when I painted Ebony’s room)…Home decor obviously doesn’t rate very highly on my list of must haves? I think its just a case of when you live with something every day you stop taking notice…much like Martins favourite recliner chair…it is 12 years old and has a big rip in the arm and all the leather is worn where his legs go and has the most annoying squeak! I mentioned to Martin the other night that we really should buy a new lounge suite and he replied that I have a few cracks in my face and showing signs of wear but he doesn’t think of replacing me (and he thought that was a compliment lol). I had so many smart come backs in my head but I didn’t bother wasting my wit on him.
On the diet front my weight stayed the same..I am so lazy, I hate exercise so its my own fault...I have also been sneaking in a few biscuits with my coffee, so not kosher..
Just for something a bit different I thought I would start a little quiz and tag someone
Name three things that scare you. Chooks, electricity bills and 13 year olds with PMS
The daggiest thing in your music collection. Hits of the 70’s (which I Love!)
Your three favourite clothing items. My pink flannelette pj’s, my blue flannelette pj’s and my penguin pj’s
Your partners most annoying habit. I have so many to choose from but probably that he doesn’t look in the mirror before he makes smart comments about me
What stresses you out. Shopping with teenagers, trying to send faxes, driving, cooking more than three things at once, loud music or tv’s, doing letter verification on blogs, standing on bathroom scales, soduku puzzles.
If I could change the world I would……………..put dimmer switches in changing rooms, invent carpet that self cleans, make chocolate a part of the healthy food pyramid, include a mute button on teenagers (and husbands) outlaw any exercise that caused working up a sweat
7 Your favourite household chore…. Ha!!! Funny!
8 If you had fifty bucks to spend at Target which section would you head straight for…. Toys…though I should probably go to the homewares section
9 In my next life I would like to come back as …..a size 10
10 Your least favourite celebrity…Paris Hilton…I so wish I was Bea Smith right now (if you are under 40 you probably wont get that one lol)
ok I tag Debbie Y and Tess

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-05-29T22:24:00.001+10:00

2007-05-29T21:11:00.000+10:00

What a wonderful time Emily had at her 4th birthday party. I have been to Hungry Jacks parties before and was never overly impressed but this one was lovely...guess it depends which one you go to...the party room was a flurry of pink with fairy placemats, party bags and party favours and the little girls all looked gorgeous in their fairy outfits. (One lone boy didn't seem very pleased lol). This is the fairy outfit Emily chose for her birthday...when she saw it in Toys R Us she said "Nanny, this is the one!" We were actually there to buy a sandpit but I couldn't resist that look on her face so of course i had to buy it too ....among other things.
The party bags were a big hit, and at the end there were some left over which were literally snatched up (by the mums lol)
Emily has already been for a sleepover with her new Barbie pull along suitcase...knock knock on the door and a little voice calling "Nanny, I'm baaaack!' lol. She packed books , games and money but no clothes!
That's all for now, I just had a few people asking how the party went, I will "see " you all again on Friday!

2007-05-25T22:25:00.000+10:00

I forgot to check in last week as I was away at swig but my weight last Friday was 72 kilos...a .6 loss...but...I obviously ate too much while I was away and put on a kilo over the weekend...I tried to make up for it this week and weighed in at 72.2 this morning so I can live with that, it's a minor set back.
Miss Emily turns 4 tomorrow and is having a fairy party at Hungry Jacks..It's a little easier for Haley as Ella has been sick and she wouldn't have had time to organize things...I was miffed as it meant I wasn't needed for mouse cakes duties....one of my fave jobs, I have been making those little patty cakes for the kids birthdays for years...Haley softened the blow by putting me in charge of lolly bags...Jodie and I had a working bee the other night making Fairy shoe party bags (they are actually baby shoes but Emily won't notice lol) They are made from Bazzill bling cardstock and I have to say they look pretty darn cute though after making 20 I was over it!
I went shopping with her for her birthday present the other day and I got her a sandpit and sand toys, a new fairy costume, a rolling suit case for when she comes for sleepovers (that was her idea lol, I made sure it was only big enough for an overnight stay) and some Dora toy...then Ebony reminded me I had a set of books and a really cute bag and purse up in my wardrobe...I really must stop stashing things in there, I forget about them.
I came home from my weekend expecting the worst but the house wasn't too bad, I think Jodie must have been on their case. I had to have a chuckle at Martin though when he told me he washed his own work clothes like it was some major drama...I pointed out I had done all the washing before I left and since he only worked on Saturday it was only one set of dirty clothes but he was determined to let me know I inconvenienced him...care factor zero!!! Eb had been shopping with Daddy Dearest while I was away and scored some new jeans, tops and a dress...boy she has him wrapped around her little finger!!
Today I cleaned out the fridge as it had developed a disgusting odour...not the nicest job is it....I wish you could buy half tomatoes as we seem to only use half and then put the other half in the fridge and leave it till its all shrivelled up. The crisper was the offending location, I found a cucumber that had turned to liquid which was causing the stench although the mouldy pumpkin didn't smell like roses, I must say...I found some mayonnaise that expired last year and a container of something I wasn't game to open so it went in the bin tupperware and all! Seems my house keeping skills are slipping, my mother would have been in her glory armed with the spray n wipe and a chux cloth.
I went into Ebonys room today and all her Beanie Kids had been dumped unceremoniously into a plastic bag and taking pride of place on the shelf were her dirty orange gym boots...what the??? When I questioned her she said it looked cool....so tomorrow I am getting rid of the ornaments on my bookcase and I am going to hang my undies there...I wonder if that will look cool? I can't keep up with what's cool these days...it seems Ebony spends hours straightening her hair then does some messy crooked hanging out pony tail thing...and that's cool....then she takes a perfectly good school folder and scribbles all over it with nikko pen and white out..and that's cool....as is skinny leg jeans that are too long so the hems go right under you feet.....it is not cool however to walk next to your mother when you go shopping...a few paces ahead or behind is the rule...also on the not cool list is getting a call on your mobile from your mum while you are on the school bus... I have been warned repeatedly about that one... Have to admit cool rules were around when I was her age, they were just a little different...like wearing jeans so tight you almost ruptured your spleen when you tried to sit, or writing Hush and AC/DC all over your school bag or better yet wearing knitted bikinis with your body lathered in coconut oil...no wonder I am so wrinkly now.
And speaking of bikinis I almost wet myself at swig when the lovely Anna was talking about the day she walked past a beauty salon with her daughter and commented that she wouldn't mind having a Brazillian wax...her daughter asked if she knew what it was and was a little shocked to learn it had nothing to do with the hair on your upper lip! How would you feel if you rocked up and asked for a brazillian and the therapist asked you to lie down and spread em...and you gave them a big smile...lol
On that note....

2007-05-13T21:40:00.000+10:00

Happy Mother's Day everyone, I hope you all enjoyed your special day, I know I sure did! My day started with a Mc Donalds breakfast which Jodie brought home for me...a deli bacon and egg roll and cappucino...very yum but I had to skip lunch as those suckers are loaded with calories...I was starving by tea time. I was spoilt this year and got new pajamas, new dresses and shoes, a step machine and Eb got me a tiny little gold heart on a chain that says Mum. My sil was down for the day so we went to one of the big shopping centres for some retail therapy....I just had to get a new cordless phone as our old one died and its hell without it...the phone rings up to twenty times a night between 5 pm and 8 pm...all the calls for Eb.....she has had to slum it and talk on the wall phone in the kitchen which is a drama in itself...she has to whisper so we can't hear and she shoots me a dirty look every time I walk into the kitchen like I have just ruined the party...so today I got a nice new cordless with two handsets so I can leave one in her room so she doesnt ever have to leave the "cave" except for food or toilet...it works for both of us!

Lost 1 kilo this week bringing my weight to 72.6...boy it was hard this week, we had Martins birthday and two nights over the weekend with takeaway....while they scoffed their pizza and KFC I made myself proper low fat meals and passed on the mud cake which just about killed me, it would be so much easier if it were fashionable to be "slightly rounded".

Martin had a fantastic birthday on Wednesday. Jodie and Duane got him new runners...He was thrilled to bits as his existing ones are older than Ebony! New clothes and socks and jocks, but the present he was most excited about came from his brother and sister..they got him a gift voucher to drive 5 laps in a v8 supercar at Willowbank raceway over the June long weekend...he carried on like a little kid, I have never ever seen him that excited...and to think I tried to talk them out of it as I didn't think he would take a day off to do it! I cant wait til its over as every time we go somewhere in the car he practices maintaining constant speed around sweeping curves...I shit myself (more than ever) now every time we go out...

Jodies boyfriend works at Melba's Nightclub here on the Gold Coast, a job he started just a few weeks ago...every afternoon we get his excited run down on his previous nights work, how he had to have his photo taken with a group of bikini girls, how he met someone famous..blah blah...but on Saturday he was very quiet..when I asked how work went he blurted out"do I look gay to you??" Apparently he was having a good old natter with some bloke until he realised he was being chatted up rofl! Martin is having a field day with that one..

In an effort to make exercise a little more interesting I bought myself a hula hoop this week. I suck at it big time but every afternoon, I go out the back to give it my best shot...nothing wrong with that...the other day I hear Ebony and 3 of her friends in hysterics in her room...when I go to see what's going on I got the shock of my life...Eb had secretly filmed one of my hula sessions and put it on her "my space" set to the music of "I like to move it move it". I look like a whale trying to jump through a hoop, it is truly one of the most embarrassing things I have seen...I have asked her to take it off but she won't...that's ok I will wait till she wants to go somewhere and the ball will be back in my court...exercise is one of my pitfalls I hate everything about it...Jodie loaned me her pilates dvd's and I was really keen ......for about 60 seconds....I don't know what happened to my flexiness but I can't lay on my back with my legs raised AND lift my head off the floor....not even for a few seconds....the skipping rope I bought is now in Emily's toybox as I discovered I pee when I skip and after nearly knocking myself out with my hand weights, they too have been retired....so this new stepper will be interesting I know the idea is to try and do it for half an hour but I do a half dozen steps and my legs ache so I quit....and unfortunately you don't burn many calories lying on the couch watching Dr Phil...bummer!

Emily turns 4 in a few weeks and this year Haley decided on a party at Hungry Jacks as Emily has been to a few and like the idea...I was shattered at first because it meant I won't be needed for mouse cakes or M &M slice but then Haley softened the blow by telling me I am in charge of party bags...woohoo, I am thinking of doing fairy slippers..Stay tuned for that one!! (meaning I have no clue how to do that just yet!)

Well thats about it for this weeks check in, catch you all in 7 days

2007-05-04T19:39:00.000+10:00

Go on ask me how I went with the diet! I fair dinkum didn't cheat once this week and I'm happy to say I lost 2.4 kilos so I am now 73.6...and bloody Martin has blitzed it on the Tony Furguson diet going from 85 kilos to 79.6 ...over 5 kilos!! I had to burst his bubble a bit and warn him that when he starts eating normal food again he wont lose anywhere near that much. I have to begrudgingly admit he deserves the success he has stuck to the plan like glue. I try to eat the same as him for tea but tonight it was some steamed fish in a pouch bizzo and I was dry reaching as it was cooking.....I bailed out and had something different. As you can see my roller blading technique hasn't improved, it takes a split second to fall and five minutes to get up again...also love the arm action at least they get a good work out lol.

I have just suffered yet another embarrassing moment..Eb asked me to take her to the video shop so I changed out of my pj's into a pair of jeans that were lying on my bedroom floor. While we were standing in the shop I felt something on my foot and thinking it was a bug, flicked my leg....it was a pair of undies that must have been in the leg of my jeans...of course it couldnt happen in an empty shop, it was jammed packed...I got looks varying from sympathy to a smartarse grin on one teenage boys face...I felt like grabbing the undies and rubbing that smirk clean off his face! This has happened to me before, you should always check the legs of your jeans before you put them on

Went shopping the other day to get Martins birthday present (it's next Wednesday) He is so hard to buy for, all he likes is t-shirts and shorts, he has no hobbies aside from watching telly ..and chocolates are out this year because of his diet....so shorts and shirts was what I got...but while I was in Big W....which in my opinion is the BEST shop I saw two dresses I liked so I rang Jodie and asked if she would like to buy me a dress for Mothers Day which she jumped at....and the other one...well that can be from Martin...my expensive taste astounds me, they were 24.95 each!! lol

Eb was with me and was horrified at my choices and said they looked like mu mu's and begged me not to get them.....hello!!!! I can't exactly get around in skinny leg jeans and crop tops! (Well I could put I would need to pass out buckets). Eb bought herself another eyeliner...what is it with teenage girls and eyeliner??? I could put my foot down and tell her she isn't allowed to wear makeup but as we all know that would immediately put me in the "so gay" bracket and also the "you just don't get it" bracket as well, so I will save my battles for more important issues like body piercings. It was lunchtime by the time we had finished so we went to the food court to grab a bite...Eb had Maccas and I wandered from kiosk to kiosk and couldn't find a single thing that even looked remotely low fat..so I had to sit around dozens of people scoffing their faces while I drank a diet coke...while I was there I observed how many people have a g string hanging out when they sit down....I mean half way up their backs.... for blokes it's bum cracks, I don't know what's worse! Do you do that.??..observe people while you are sitting around??...I can't believe how many people pull out wedgies or scratch their bums or worse still drop a fart while they are walking around and don't give it a second thought...I save all that stuff for the privacy of my own home. It's the same when you are sitting in your car in traffic and you see the person in the car ahead of you looking for treasure in their noses...having a real good dig around without even checking to see if anyone is looking...

My personal favourite is the toff nosed ladies in high heels that check out their reflections in the shop windows as they walk past...when I catch my reflection I think, god who's that fat chick lol

We have had our fair share of bickering over homework and assignments this week ..so damn stressful! Ebony is hopeless at organising herself and leaves everything till the last minute then starts bitching and carrying on...thank god for the internet, when I was a kid you had to look it up in the encyclopedia...and ours were so old a lot of world events hadn't even happened yet....wouldn't you be spewing if you were an encyplopedia salesman now....it all fits on a compact disc lol

That's it folks, I did warn I wouldnt have much news if I updated weekly!! I will try for some sort of disaster for next week I promise!

2007-04-27T19:10:00.000+10:00

I am under pressure now that Jackie has challenged me to update weekly!!! If I can't come up with some news I will just have to lie!!
Well as you can see, Miss Ella is now on the move however her technique is rather odd lol. Up on the palm of her hands, bum held high and doing a serious split manoevre she then takes a lunge forward planting her face into the carpet, then does it all again to caterpillar all over the place...it might look a bit strange but she can do it with alarming speed. Emily gets really miffed all the time because Ella gets into her space wrecking her games, grabbing her dolls and all sorts of other mischief...Sibling rivalry has begun...
This week Martin and I both came to the realisation that we need to lose weight. I found a website that works out your BMI and did a calculation on us both...martin came up as obese and was most indignant so I added some centimetres to his height so he could be overweight instead..I too came up as overweight (using my real height, I am not a sook like him). He has started the Tony Furguson diet which is run through Terry White chemists, replacing 2 meals a day with a protein shake and an evening meal...he cant have bread, rice, pasta or biscuits ...no worries he says I love vegies...um cant have potato, pumpkin, peas or corn...what else is there??? Was thrilled to know he could still have a beer....but only if he sacrifices his fruit allowance of the day (which doesn't include his favourite fruits of rockmelon and watermelon!) Good luck to him, I had to be realistic and admit I would never in a million years stick to that so I am just doing a healthy eating plan that does include my favourites....I couldnt survive a day without bread!! I will be brave and let you all know my starting weight of 76 kilos, I need to lose 10 kilos to be at the top of my healthy weight range...please ask me every week how I am doing so I will shame myself into not failing (again!) I also bought one one those huge exercise balls and some hand weights...I dont care how wide your bum is , it is next to impossible to try and balance on one of those things, while trying to lift weights...funniest home video would have a field day here while I am trying to do my stuff!! Martin also has to lose 10 kilos and unfortunately has way more will power than me so it will be interesting to see how we go...The first test came for me tonight when Ebony had a dagwood dog and chips for tea while I had a half a tin of vegetable soup (which looked very much like diahorrea in a toilet bowl...yuk!) I almost snuck into the kitchen to lick the paper Ebs tea had been wrapped in but I held back...only just!
I spent the afternoon at the doctors as I have been suffering from dreadful headaches...I had a coughing fit as soon as I entered his office which straight away earned me a piece of paper to take for a chest xray and a huge lecture on smoking and lung cancer...not even what I was there for...he then gave me a menopause questionnaire to fill out where I had to put a number between 0 and 3 next to each question...He told me that a score of over 15 was a concern...........I scored 52...(the highest I have ever scored on a test lol) so I have to go for blood tests yada yada as well as an abdominal ultrasound as he thinks there is a problen with my gall bladder...and then a colonoscopy because my brother had bowel cancer at forty...and at the same time I am having a colonoscopy I am also to have a ...whatever you call that scope they put down your throat and into your stomach....oh and a mamogram and pap smear....how much does that suck!!! go in for a headache and I come out like an old fart (no offence to any old farts out here).
Other news???
1.Eb is still going out with her skater boyfriend...its been weeks...I obviously didnt scare him off last time I did his hair as he is coming in the morning to have his roots redone.
2. Jodie has finally got all her test results back...the doctor was very concerned she has lost 5 kilos over the last few months...she now weighs 42 kilos...thyroid and all other tests normal.....verdict...she is naturally thin....( dont you hate people like that!!!! She eats like a horse!)
3. My bathroom is still waiting to have the vanity doors put on...I might as well do it my bloody self! cept I would have to use a drill and that could get ugly!
4. I burnt my lip on a piece of tomato out of my toasted sandwich...while I was carrying on trying to get it off my lip the rest of the tomato went down the front of my top...while I was carrying on trying to get the tomato off my chest I knocked over my can of pepsi max on my BAS statement and all through my keyboard...lesson in there for you all
5. Drove up to visit Mum on Anzac Day...Came home with 12 bottles of green tomato pickles and a shirt she got me from the op shop...in her eyes I am still thin because the top was a size 8 and the ugliest little number I think I have ever seen in my entire life...thank God it's too small
6. Haley rang to tell me Ella can wave bye byes and then said to Ella "show Nanny how you wave bye byes" duh don't know which side of the family she inherited her brains from...ok so it was me lol
7. I have learnt that I can't do a soduku...Jodie and I have started to do the Thats Life puzzles and I cant for the life of me do the stupid soduku...To add insult to injury in the blurb of the puzzle it states its a game of common sense...I waited till Jodie went to bed and copied the answer from her magazine....
I don't have an 8, 9 or 10
see you next Friday and dont forget to ask me how I am doing with my "lifestyle change" (you know the stinkin diet!)

2007-04-07T23:03:00.000+10:00

Happy Easter everyone!!! I have been very slack and haven't updated for yonks, however because of the very mundane life I lead you haven't missed much. We have recently renovated one of our bathrooms. The house is twenty years old so the bathroom was looking very sad indeed...tiles falling off, grout permantly scarred with mould, a vanity that left droppings of chipboard every time you opened or closed the doors, well past its use by date. I had visions of a pristine white bathroom, the sort you see in decorator magazines, however our budget didn't allow for that kind of luxury, we got instead an elcheapo version. Martin says it looks like a block of public toilets lol. When you watch those make over shows it all looks so easy, they must edit out all the crap that goes on behind the scenes...When I didn't want the tiles to come off they would fall like a deck of cards whenever you had a shower....but when I was trying to remove them for the renovation they didn't want to come off at all. Armed with a chisel and hammer I sat for days removing them, so pleased when I had finally finished only to be told by darling husband that the thick black glue also had to be scraped from the walls-that took another couple of days. It was all down hill after that, our plans of doing everything ourselves went out the window because of plumbing and drainage problems so we were over budget by a country mile after paying tradesmen to fix everything up we ended up paying a tiler as well because Martin just doesnt have enough time after working 14 hour days. I am also not very good with colours either as my white tiles turned out to be cream. Never mind its clean and new and doesnt leak, even if it is a bit ugly lol
Haley and the girls are sleeping over tonight as Joe is back at the mines and they thought Easter Bunny at our place would be more fun....we have just finished doing the traditional stencilled bunny footprints, wonder what Emily will think of it this year...Last year she asked her Mum why there was baby powder all over the floor...Haley told her it was storm dust that Easter Bunny had walked in, all through the house..Emily replied....Oh yes, storm dust....but it smells very much like baby powder!
Eb has just returned home from a date with her boyfriend...they went to Sizzler with his Mum and little sister...too cute. Chris is a skater boy (not a surfy, get it right). Last week I had to blonde his hair as his Mum had never done it before and asked if I would do it for him...three girls in the house I can do it with my eyes closed...the good thing with boys is they dont carry on if it goes a bit orange...ok a LOT orange rofl
I have extra house guests again....Haley had no sooner moved all of her crap out of our garage when Jodie asked if she and Duane could move in there for four months till they buy a house...12 years we have lived here and we have never once been able to park our car in that garage ! Martin cannot for the life of him pronounce Duanes name...not sure if its his Scottish accent but it comes out duh -wayne with a real dopey sound to it. They have also brought along their cat, which just to be confusing is called dog .
Other news in brief
*Ella is nearly six months old and worms around on the floor like a caterpiller getting into all sorts of mischief
* Ebony got a "much better than ususal" report card which ungrounded her this weekend
* I have finally thrown away the sample sized bottle of lux shower gel which for three days running I confused with the colgate bottled toothpaste
* I have Easter Eggs coming out of my ears after discovering the hidden stash of eggs in my wardrobe I had forgotten I had bought weeks ago, so everyone gets double
* Emily says Pop is no longer on her team after a backyard game of soccer resulted in her getting a ball in the chest...she says she will never play soccer with him again....Pop is pleased

And to finish off, a rather gross tale....Martin like many poor tradesmen who work outside in the stinking heat, suffers from heat rashy groin....(you know if someone suffers from this just by the way they walk) My mother told him if you used an antiperspirant roll on in this area it alleviates the problem. I didn't give this a second thought until I was going shopping
Martin: Dont forget to get me some deoderant while you are out
Bev: I bought you a tin of Brut spray last week
Martin: No not spray, roll on
Bev: You don't use roll on
Martin : Yes I do, I have been using yours
So very nice of him to tell me he had been using my Dove for weeks....eeeeww!

2007-02-20T21:56:00.000+10:00

Yesterday when the phone rang I thought it was someone playing a practical joke on me and I was not only rude but used swear words as well....so of course when I found out it was a charity I felt it only proper I should purchase the rather expensive steak knives that were on offer. The phone and I have a real love hate relationship...it's always lovely when it's a call from someone you like but most times it's from someone I would rather not hear from... I love to be able to support charities but there are so many now I can't support them all and there is nothing worse than saying no to somebody...unless it's one of those dreaded negative gearing mortgage set ups, time share, opposing phone companies or purified water salesmen.... It's gotten to the stage where I get butterflies in my stomach every time the phone rings.
I love listening to Martin talking on the phone, its like he is talking into one of those tin cans and string get ups you used to make when you were a kid...he yells as if that's the only way they can hear him...Ebony uses the no hands method strutting around the house with the cordless phone tucked into the crook of her neck talking to friends she was just on the bus with five minutes ago. I also am intrigued when the phone rings how we all sit there waiting for someone else to answer it...we all make a half hearted attempt to look as if you are about to get up but no one actually does until its too late and the caller gives up. Because Martin goes to bed so early, if we get any calls after 6 pm he always says...'Who the hell would be ringing at this time of night" lol. My absolute pet peeve is the automated responses you get when you ring a business...if your enquiry is regarding blah blah press 1...if your call is regarding blah blah press 2.... I can never take it all in and forget which option I am after and have to go back to the main menu and listen to it all again. Just today I had to call Austar regarding our pay tv account....voice responses this time...even worse.
"Please state what your enquiry is regarding"
"bill enquiry"
"bill enquiry, is this correct?"
"yes"
"Are you after current balance, bill payment or other"
"other"
"I'm sorry, was that other?"
"Yes"
"please wait while we put you through to a customer service officer"
****interlude of other fabulous austar packages available ****(this goes on for a good five minutes!)
ring ring , ring ring, ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.....
" I'm sorry but we are currently experiencing heavier than normal phone traffic, please call again later"
Doesn't that just really pi** you off!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually doesn't the phone bill pi** you off even more...Anyone with a teenager in the house will know the shock of opening up a phone bill and seeing the monthly total...enough to feed a third world nation for a few weeks! Add to that the rates, the car rego, electricity bill and before you know it you are eating sausages and mince for weeks on end.
Anyway, enough of the whinging, this week we have had lots of lovely rain and with that the grass has gone green and grown much faster than usual...guess that means I will be mowing some time this week..Its a job I really love but it always comes with its trials and tribulations...Like how you are supposed to get that petrol into the tiny hole in the petrol tank....funnel I hear you say...keep forgetting to buy one of those.....so instead half of it ends up on the driveway (note to self, don't light cigarette). Then I have to remember if the lever on the handle is meant to be up or down when you pull the cord.....after twenty pulls you realise its obviously meant to be up....but by then you are so knackered you have to rest for 10 minutes before you try again...then its a matter of avoiding obstacles like clothes pegs, screwdrivers and my personal favourite, the neighbours dog's crap...if they are old and white it isn't an issue, it just goes up like a puff of smoke....but if you happen to hit a fresh one it gets REALLY ugly. Our front yard is a rather steep hill so going down is a breeze but pushing the mower back up is another matter entirely....you can feel it starting to slip backwards and all you can think of is how you would manage minus your feet. I hope I never find out!
Speaking of missing limbs lol, when Martins brother was in his twenties he lost his arm in a motorbike accident (30 years ago now) When he buys shirts or jumpers he cuts off one sleeve and sews up the opening. Last time we visited Victoria, Gordon gave Martin a bag full of jumpers and shirts. When Martin asked what the hell he was supposed to do with them, Gordon got quite shitty and said "well if you are going to be ungrateful I will give them to the op shop!" (not sure if they get much call for one armed jumpers either rofl)
As usual I have waffled on about nothing in particular once again, so until next time..

2007-02-18T22:00:00.000+10:00

Today, Martin and I drove to Toogoolawah to visit Mum and we took Haley and the girls as she has yet to meet Ella. Before we came home I asked Martin to take a photo of us as its four generations and would have made a great keepsake....that is if Haley and Emily hadn't pulled one of their stupid faces and my mother could have resisted the old bunny ears behind the head routine!
Haley hasnt been in Grandmas house since she was a little girl...on the way she said "I wonder if Grandma still has that old yellow rabbit on her bed and the bear soaps in the bathroom?" Yep!!!! 18 years and that yellow rabbit is still on the bed and the soaps are still in the soap dish...it got the better of me and I had to ask....mum those soaps are at least 20 years old, why do they still look new?....what a ridiculous question! She uses a little paint brush to dust them each week...of course!!! Note to self, buy a paintbrush so I can dust my soaps ...not!!!!!!!!!!
Mum's place is like a time warp..it hasnt changed in over 25 years...the beaded curtains in the hallway, the macrame pot hangers, the cow clock, the dolly vardin bed doll...and yes, the crocheted toilet roll doll...Emily's personal favourite....the donkey that belonged to my Dad....lift his tail and a cigarette dispenses from his bum...do it again, do it again!! I am afraid to say the whole town is a bit of a time warp...I had to go to the corner store to get some ham for lunch. " Could I please have six slices of ham for Yvonne sliced the way she like it...yes I will take her newspaper while I am here....yes , I can drop Maureens paper off on my way home, thats fine, no trouble...yes I will tell her you loved her fruitcake...sorry not sure if she has made your green tomato pickles yet" Yikes, no wonder she spends all day Fridays doing her shopping.
Our lunch was ham and green tomato pickle sandwiches and tea from a teapot all spread out nicely on the flannel backed plastic table cloth (which doesnt flutter or move as it is held in place with large tablecloth clips.)
After lunch we went to the loungeroom where Emily got to sit on a poof...you know those footstool things??? orange vinyl variety that looks as pristine as they day she bought it in 1970...apparently Mr Sheen keeps it's shiny appearance. A quick glance in the magazine rack revealed a magazine with the shock headline "Lady Di Killed in Auto Accident". Mum saw me looking at it and told me she is keeping it for one of the kids to have when she dies...(her youngest kid is 41) and that everything else is labelled....I divert this conversation as it has been discussed many times in the past and I already know who gets the china horse and who gets the cane bicycle planter (not me thank heavens).
I know you get older you get set in your ways and you become sentimetal but I can never imagine myself dusting my soaps or writing my kids names on band aids and sticking them on the bottom of my ornaments so there will be no bickering when I go to meet my maker...Having said that I am rather attached to the pot pourri hat that hangs on the wall in the bathroom....maybe it's time to let it go!

Footnote...I dont normally talk scrapping on my Blog but as some of you may be aware some people on aussielayouts are having a blast taking the mickey out of me...I am a good sport and have to admit the lengths they go to is rather funny..but if you happen to read anything about my fanclub its all BS started by Wendie and in no way my idea, I am so going to get her and a few others! (when I find out who they are!)

2007-01-31T21:53:00.000+10:00

Lol, I think Miss Emily thinks she is it and a bit in her new bikinis I bought for her.Ella on the other hand has a fuller figure and chooses to dress in a more modest manner like Nanny! The girls come to visit several times a week to cool off in the pool. Ella is never overly excited when she takes a dip but Em gets right into it and takes Ken and Barbie for a bit of a splash as well...all good fun.
Well Eb is back at school, year 9 this year, where has the time gone? I forgot to order the stationery pack from the school so in the last week of the holidays we went to Office Works. Don't know about you but that place really tickles my fancy, I wander around in a euphoric daze amid all those fancy pens and papers. Our shopping trip ended up costing more than double the price of the school pack, but I take most of the bame....why would you buy a black scientific calculator for $14.95 when you can have a funky hot pink one for $29.95??? And did you know you can get lime green USB sticks???? My God well worth the extra 10 bucks. Eb just wrote her name on the front of the books and that was it....she just doesn't know what she is missing out on covering them like we did in the dark ages when I went to school...no trendy contact back then...it was plain brown paper with a label from the special back to school issue of the Womans Weekly and then plastic over the top....I tell you those Womans Weekly school book labels used to cause all out war at our place...Me being the eldest of the kids at school assumed I should be entitled to all the cool ones...you know, the ones with the pop stars like ABBA and Bay City Rollers...I figured my younger brother and sister could have all the cutesy cat and dog ones...but no, Mum would cut them all out and we would take turns pulling one out of a hat...that sucked and I was the one that usually ended up with the crap ones...from there it moved onto stage two where we would barter among ourselves trading until we were happy ...it helped that the other two were young and stupid and didn't realise they were being duped....suckers!
Shopping for school shoes was fairly painless this year, I knew before I went she would hate the fifty dollar ones and would love the ninety dollar ones so they were the ones we got. One pair of shoes lasts her all year so it's not so bad...The school bag was rather amusing...in previous years it was big name surf brand but this year she chose a Spiderman back pack with detachable lunch box for under 20 bucks...I told her she would get teased but when I dropped her off at the bus stop one friend had a Dora the Explorer and the other had Barbie? It's apparently cool to be juvy whatever that means.
During the holidays Eb and her friend went to a movie marathon which started at 11 pm and finished at 5 in the morning. As usual I had to do both the drop off and pick up. I got up at 4.30 am to go and pick them up and used the key to unlock the car door instead of the beep beep thingo on the keyring. Next thing I know the horn starts honking and the lights were flashing on and off ..OMG it was so scary!! Martin and his brother came running outside (dressed only in their undies, not a good look) to see what the hell was going on. it was bedlam...seems the new car has an alarm something were unaware of up until that point. I don't think the neighbours were too impressed.
Finally got new glasses last week...I lost my last ones at SWIG in October...I have been winging it with an old pair from three prescriptions ago....The first thing I noticed when I put the new ones on was that my eyebrows had over taken the entire upper portion of my brow...I had gone to pluck them a few times before but when I looked in the mirror they looked fine....I took that as a sign that it probably wasn't a good idea to check out my bum...so now I have reading glasses, walking around glasses and prescription sunglasses...team that with Martins three pair and between the two of us it takes a while to sort out whose is whose when we need them for something. Since my track record for losing glasses is getting rather bad I got myself one of those granny chain things...but I fell asleep in bed reading one night and almost met my demise with a two dollar cord so I have given it the flick...it was ruining my image anyway...oh yes thats right, I don't have an image.
One of my plans for this year is to get fit (have given up on the whole losing weight thing, its too depressing).My sister and I were having a discussion one day about how we were so good at roller skating when we were teens so we decided to take up roller blading...if any of you are thinking of doing this let me warn you...once you have them on it's a very long way down to the ground....fine if you are fifteen but when you are on the wrong side of forty it is frightening...we chose our venue...in the undercover carpark of the local chemist which is deserted by six o'clock at night so noone can see us...which is just as well. Our first night we strapped on our blades and full of confidence we began our new regime. Who would have thought that a discarded half chewed lolly would jam a skate wheel so easily. Both my legs went up in the air and I landed nice and hard on my bum....all within the first two minutes. It left me winded and badly bruised and I was laughing and crying at the same time. Five minutes after that Pam came a cropper landing on her elbow..she was on the ground spinning round in agony looking very much like a cockroach that had just been Pea Beu'd...however we have kept it up and a couple of nights ago we were bragging how we were almost ready for stunts...suddenly a nice looking young man aged about 30 appeared on our turf with a skateboard under his arm and proceeded to do bunny hops and some other techo stuff...I felt ready to exhibit some of my finer skills and attempted to do the leg crossover thing on a corner as I rounded a pilon...lets just say I may have been premature to attempt such a thing and went down like a bag of shit failing to impress anyone. Nuff said!
Cass if you are reading this, I updated my blog just for you!
catcha next time

2006-12-22T22:57:00.000+10:00

Only a few more sleeps till Santa comes!! Pleased to say I am all ready and waiting. Did the groceries today to avoid the weekend rush, the presents were wrapped weeks ago and are all sitting under the tree and I have bought batteries of every shape and size. Emily and Ellas Daddy arrived home today for a week so Haley is relieved as Joe was almost rostered on for Xmas which would have been sad.
Love this picture of my two angels though it took some doing getting a decent photo as Emily likes to pull stupid faces so I have dozens of those photos lol. Ebony is hanging out for her new ipod, its been nearly a month since her last one was stolen so I hope she is more careful with this one...I still cant get over the size of them... a lot smaller than the PYE radiogram I had as a kid! I remember stacking up four or five LP'S and watch them drop to the turntable and the arm slide over to start playing the tracks...a masterpiece of technology though you could hardly shove it in your pocket like they do these days.
I got a new car for Christmas as the head gasket blew on mine and no one could fix it before the New Year and the cost was outrageous for an 11 year old car. When I say new, its 3 years old but the newest one I have ever had so I am pretty chuffed with my XT BA falcon! Martin also gave me 200 dollars to go and buy myself some stuff so he could give it to Eb to wrap for under the tree (He's been working 14 hours a day 7 days a week and doesnt get time) I bought some new clothes and sunnies and a pair of thongs exactly the same as the ones I already have as they were the only ones I could find that fitted my stupid feet.
How are you all enjoying the Christmas holidays!!! The sleep ins are good but you need a money tree to keep teenagers amused. Eb has been to the movies a few times and shopping to spend the$50.00 her Uncle staurt gave her for Christmas. She came home and showed me the bikini top she got at City Beach for 48 bucks...she looked at me stupid when I asked her where the bottoms were (ok to fill you all in, you don't wear bikini bottoms, you wear shorts).....so nearly 50 bucks for HALF a bikini!!!!!!!! Yikes! It looks so tiny too, I remember the days when I could wear a bikini....wouldnt be seen dead in one now, not with the bulges, flabby overhang and cellulite. Now when I hop in the pool its shorts and a tshirt and even that looks gross when its wringing wet and sticking into all the crevices....Geez I have just put myself off my Christmas dinner!!!!
No doubt my New Years resolution will once again be to lose weight...I should take a leaf out of my sisters book...She got herself a personal trainer back in October and has gone from 138 kilos to 96 and is looking terrific...She hopes to get to her goal weight of 60 kilos so I hope she makes it.... I on the other hand am sitting here as I type eating chips...hopeless!
News in brief........
**My mother once again drove her motorised scooter up the street for her shopping (in downtown Toogoolawah) then forgot and caught a taxi home...The Co- op man kindly drove it back to her house
**My brother and his wife recently went into hospital to have their gastric lapbands loosened in readiness for their overseas trip (what the????)
**My middle daughter Jodie won a trophy for her car in a show and shine contest...and no its not a prize for the shiniest car (lol silly me)
**Haley turns 25 on the 30th December.....I gave her birthday money early so she could buy something for her new house.....she bought a mop and bucket, a jug, an ironing board, a toilet brush, a laundrey hamper, door mats and coat hangers??? However I personally don't think that's sad as it's the sorts of things I would buy lol
**Martin is not working for the next 4 days straight....he will be bored out of his brain and when he is bored he thinks of funny names to call me...I wont think they are funny...in fact I will think he's a dickhead
** I cleaned out my pantry and found a tin of curry powder that had an expiry date of 2000...and when I cleaned out the freezer I found Barbie and Ken (will interview Emily about that, I wouldnt be that stupid)
Ok folks, thats all ...have a Merry Christmas and stay safe!

2006-12-08T22:07:00.000+10:00

How cute are these little girls lol...Neither of them were very cooperative when I was trying to take their picture...Emily has to have a dozen or so shots of poking out her tongue and pulling faces before I get any good ones...and Miss Ella...well she put on a bit of a tizzy and I had to come back to her lol
And here is our tree in all its pink and purple glory....My decorations were becoming very shabby looking so I tossed them out and bought all new ones and went with a funky new colour scheme...I just love looking at it!!

I have to say I prefer fake trees to real ones for a couple of reasons..One is I put it up so early a real tree would be well and truly dead and brown before the time Christmas Day arrived...and the other reason is I am emotionally scarred by the real trees we had when I was a kid...My Dad used to bring home the sickest, most pathetic trees you could possibly imagine!!! They used to have stalls at the side of the road where you could buy a decent tree but he preferred to aquire (pinch) his own. Man, try making something look pretty when it only has three branches....cannot be done! Another thing I have a problem with is tinsel...just cant get my head around that stuff...no matter how creative I try to be, it always looks like it is strangling the tree...so I go for beads instead.
My Christmas shopping was done weeks ago but last night I took Ebony shopping so she could select her gifts....Love the way their minds work lol...She got her Dad got a Homer Simpson coffee cup with chocolates...Homer is Dads Hero!...Her friends got pooping penguins...little novelty lolly dispensers, and some undie shaped chocolates called Calvin Cleans...too funny...
Emily will be pleased with her Dora the Explorer singing crayons (Mum wont be!) and Ella got some cute little clothes.....She selected nice gifts for her sisters and other friends too along with very expensive wrapping paper...her fifty dollar budget soon blew out to $135 so I nervously handed over my store card fully expecting sirens to go off for being over my limit...thankfully I wasn't.
School holidays are almost upon us and already I am broke...I renewed Ebonys Dreamworld pass as she uses it several times a week during the holidays to go with her friends so its money well spent....no doubt I will be forking out money left ride and centre for trips to the movies and other assorted excursions so scrapping supplies will be few and far between!
Already I am dreading our annual trip to Victoria to visit Martins Mum and Brothers and sisters...Last year we flew but this year we will probably drive again as Martin likes to up and leave on the spur of the moment which you can't do when you have a plane ticket booked....The last car trip was a nightmare...Martin does all the driving as I am way too scary behind the wheel on unfamiliar roads..Eb started complaining not long after we got down the driveway and didnt stop till we drove up it again ten days later...it was freezing in Vic and I had no warm clothes and couldnt buy any as all the summer stock was out...We slept on a blow up air bed which was dead flat every morning and my sister in laws dog insisted on humping my leg at every opportunity....On the way down Martin got confused and was driving down the middle of a tram line, then we got lost and added a further three hours to an already too long trip.....holy crap, I so dont want to go, please dont make me go!
It is so quiet here now Haley and the girls have moved out..Her new home is lovely , a huge 4 bedroom with a massive lounge and family room, fully air conditioned , remote garage ..the works! Joe hasn't even seen it yet, he doesnt get back from the mines till the 18th December...Haley has slept on the floor next to Emilys bed every night as she is scared...poor thing I know what thats like...I laughed when I called around the other day, Emily said I could come in but I had to take off my shoes and I wasn't allowed to jump on the couch....Damn I was looking forward to that....she has already asked when she can come over for a sleepover...and they have only been gone four days!
Well that's about it for now, boring I know, I will try to do something exciting next week to make for an interesting post!

2006-11-17T21:51:00.000+10:00

Whoops, haven't updated for a while! Let's see, what has been happening since I spoke to you all last. As you can see, Ella is coming along nicely. Haley says she is much easier to manage than Emily was a baby and sleeps heaps during the day which is something Emily never did. Em is coping much better now but still gets mighty miffed if Ella starts squawking while "her shows" are on.
I have almost finished my Christmas shopping now, just a few secret santa's to go and I am done. So glad to be finished before the mad rush, I hate crowds. Most of the people I buy for are girls, so that's easy as I have had a bit of experience in that area but choosing a gift for my six year old great nephew had me perplexed let me tell you!! Very unfamiliar territory is the "boy aisle". I wandered up and down scratching my head looking at all the scary stuff on offer and not quite getting what half of the things even did.....none of them played pretty music, nothing was pastel coloured and I was getting more confused by the minute. I eventually settled on a Spiderman boogie board (I know he likes him!) and a very lethal looking huge water pistol with built in shield and sounds effects....I am sure his mother will love that lol.
Shopping for Ebony was a bit different this year, now she's a teenager she is passed all the cutie pie stuff she used to love. Got her a LCD TV for her room and bright orange Converse hightop boots....(very flash name for what we used to call gym boots that were a dime a dozen, but now they have become trendy you have to take out a second mortgage to afford them), some clothes that I had to let her pick and try on as my taste is apparently "gay" which is not good. Also some jewellery which I hope she doesn't manage to lose like she usually does and other assorted odds and ends.
Thought that was her done but last week she had her ipod stolen which is comparable to losing limb. The way she carried on you would have thought there had been a death in the family. She looks odd walking around with wires hanging out of her ears. For five days straight she has left for school in the morning and TIDIED HER ROOM before she left. I was most concerned as this is unheard of, she never ever does that, and especially without being nagged to do it...then the motive was revealled when she asked if she could earn money to save for a new ipod...aha, so that's why! I didn't dare tell her dear old Dad has already OK'ed a new one for Xmas in lime green....I am going to milk this cleaning the room bizzo for a while yet!
And speaking of dear old Dad, he bought her a new bed last week, a nice trendy wooden one with a pull out trundle for when her friends sleep over. I was happy to fnally saying goodbye to the daggy old bunk bed but when I realise the new bed came flat packed my excitement went out the window....we all know flat pack means you have to read instructions...men do not read instructions! Just as I thought he upended the three boxes mixing up all the screws and bits in one messy pile and then started with the cursing and hed scratching.....several hours later the bed was assembled but not without many swear words (some I had never heard of) and quite a few left over bits which he assures me are spares.
Almost time to drag out the Christmas tree...then it will be my turn to curse when it comes time to untangle the Christmas lights...or I could do what I did last year and just throw them out and buy new ones. I have to also confess that I let the kids decorate the tree , telling them what a great job they are doing...then when they are in bed, I redo it! Geez you dont hang the big balls at the top and the little ones at the bottom! And you dont put two red things together!!! Then I have to hang the tacky knitted angels at the back of tree...cant throw them away as Mum made them but crikey they are soooo ugly lol.
Right about now parents all around the world are milking the Santa thing for all it's worth. Haley had to make a call to Santa today as Emily was having "listening "issues. Em stood there wide eyed listening to the conversation. I think she was in shock that Mum was dobbing her in to the big fellar! When she got off the phone she told Em that Santa had said that if she didn't start listening and doing what she was told, he would have to move her onto the naughty page and the Whack A Mole game she wants so badly might have to go to someone who does listen to their Mum. Em nodded her head and said "ok Mum, do I have to start today?" lol too cute.
Ok that's about it from me, I have a pile of washing to fold....note I said fold, ironing doesn't happen around here!

2006-10-17T23:27:00.000+10:00

Things are improving with the whole "I was here first" scenario and I have witnessed some sweet moments with Emily and her baby sister. I even saw her share one of her toys today...granted, it was one of her scabbiest ones but hey, it's a start! The fact that Ella usually winds up around four o'clock is an inconvenience as thats when Playschool is on...Emily sits there with the remote control turning the tv up louder and louder till I can't hear myself think! I had forgotten what an upheaval it is having a newborn in the house...everywhere you look there is prams, rockers, baby baths and nappies along with Emily's blocks and Barbies...how I haven't broken my neck yet is a miracle, it's like walking through a mine field..you don't know what pain is until you step on a piece of Lego or a Barbie high heeled boot with bare feet....and talking of feet I got stung on the toe by a bee yesterday and Holy clappers it stung like hell...I used every swear word I knew which did nothing for the pain but amused everyone who witnessed the incident....My whole foot is swollen like a balloon and itchy like you wouldn't believe...however getting stung on the toe is nowhere near as bad as the sting I got last year when I sat on on a bee and it got me right where babies come from...try scratching that in public without getting weird looks!
That's all from me for now , the novelty of uploading pictures of the grandies is bound to wear off soon...HA!!

2006-10-13T23:36:00.000+10:00

The girls arrived home today!! Ella settled well and slept most of the time but I had my fair share of cuddles. Miss Emily is not taking this well at all, within minutes of arriving home she announced in a gleeful voice "hey, I have a good idea...Ella could go and live in Iceland!" Iceland?????????? She must have thought thats a very long way away lol. We have all been trying very hard to give Ella little obvious attention but our efforts still aren't enough for Emily who has turned into a tyrant and is bossing us all around and is generally most annoyed with the latest change in lifestyle. I know she will get over it, its just tough to share the pedestal. Haley took her to the room today and had a bit of a talk to her and said that nothing will change, Mummy and Daddy still love you the same. It really worked too...she announced the room is too squashy and Ellas cot can go in nannys room....too funny it must be hard being three and I have to say even when she is being a bossy boots, Emily is still the apple of my eye...I don't want to get on her wrong side or she will pack me off to Iceland too!!! I will take some pics when a certain someone isn't looking...after all I have lots of scrapping to do!

2006-10-11T22:03:00.000+10:00

Here is my beautiful new grand daughter Ella Grace born at 9.27 am on the 11th Oct 2006 weighing 7lb 2 ozs

Jo arrived home from the mines yesterday afternoon and Haley went into labour at 9 o'clock that night...Talk about good timing! They left for the hospital just after 4 am and I was like a caged animal until they rang with the good news.

When Emily woke up I told her that daddy and mummy were at the hospital and she replied "is Ella getting out today?' kinda like a jail break lol. Keeping Em entertained was real work, I cut her toast into squares instead of triangles which was a real big deal and then I couldn't get the DVD player to work and had to call on the kid next door for help....seems I had the remote control; facing the wrong way lol....as the day wore on her anxiety grew because she though Dad wasnt coming back, which was causing tears every five minutes....I stopped at nothing trying to keep her entertained doing my best interpretation of the song Old Man Emu, playing Barbies complete with sassy accents, made a fruit bowl with fruit out of blocks (ever seen a square orange?) sat through Boobah, Wiggles, Blues clues and countless other preschool shows and even let her make her own strawberry quik...more quik than milk.

I thought she would be so pleased when we went to see Mum and the new baby but just after arriving she asked me to take her home..Didn't want to stay with Mum and Dad....Sobbed non stop all the way home, refused to let me read the books that were a gift from baby Ella (mum tried to plan for everything)...She is really out of sorts the poor little buggar.

Jo is not sending her to kindy tomorrow, he is going to take her to TimeZone to whack crabs (some game she loves) and buy a special baby doll so she can have her own baby to look after (My idea, remember that Golden Book "Baby Dear "?rofl)

Haley just rang to tell me they have put Ella in the special care nursery for tonight as she had several episodes of not being able to breathe...they put tubes down her throat to suck out the mucous which is causing the problems and have assured Haley she will be fine.....Haley should try and get a good nights sleep while the baby is being cared for......geez break out the stiff drinks!!

I am babbling I will share more when we are all sane again...thanks everyone for the well wishes...I am going to bed to ready myself for the toast routine tomorrow morning!

2006-10-10T17:03:00.000+10:00

Well this baby is two days overdue!!!! I asked.....no begged Haley for a photo as she hasnt let me take any pictures while she has been pregnant....all I got was a heap of her being really stupid...trust me this is the best one...she is so naughty! Jo arrived back here an hour or so ago and he has just taken Haley and Emily for a brisk walk...if that doesnt work I will get her to mow the lawn...only kidding!!! At lunch time she was getting a few nigglies, so who knows..it may be soon, I will keep you all posted!

2006-09-26T21:58:00.000+10:00

Less than 2 weeks until the new baby arrives!! Haley and I both had a dream on Saturday night that she was having a boy...this could present a problem given that the pram is hot pink, the carseat is hot pink and most of the clothes are pink, with a sprinkle of mint green and lemon.Haley is very organised and has all the clothes hanging up neatly (all on pink hangers, I accidently bought yellow ones the other day and they had to be returned lol) the hospital bag is packed, our plan of action is all worked out....all we need now is the little baby....sooooooo exciting!!!! Emily is taking her big sister role very seriously and if she sees Haley eating something unhealthy she declares "I don't think Ella Grace would like that Mum!"
What a week I have had!! Ebony missed the last week of school (and three of her exams) because she was very ill with a urinary tract infection...Had to call a doctor to the house at 3 am as she was in so much pain she couldnt walk or sit. She cried with pain for three days until her test results came back and she was started on antibiotics...Thankfully they kicked in almost immediately and within three days she was pain free. I have to tell you it wasn't before time, she is a dreadful patient...Everytime I tried to help her I got screamed at in a psychotic fashion and my nerves were wearing thin. Her recovery came just in time for her birthday sleepover on Saturday night...8 thirteen year old girls in our garage for movie marathon...They ate a mountain of food, went swimming in the dark and giggled well into the night...in the morning after a bacon and egg breakfast they began a one and a half hour marathon of applying eyeliner and straightenng their hair before they went back into the garage for more movies. I was expecting the worst but they were all well behaved, no dramas!

Based on my past week I have prepared a little quiz for you
1. Your thirteen year old daughter asks if she can have twenty dollars to go to the movies...you tell her she can if she cleans up her room...she gives you the death look, stomps to her room and slams the door muttering something under her breath...do you
a) Smile sweetly and marvel at how fast she is growing
b) Reef open the door and demand to know what she just said about you
c) Give her the 20 bucks and hope the movie goes all day

2. Husband rings from work and says he will be home late. You ask what he would like for tea and he replies...don't worry about me, I'll have something on toast when I get home. You serve him something on toast and he says "What's this crap?" Do you
a) smile sweetly and tell him its baked beans
b) Hope he chokes on it
c) Serve baked beans on toast for the remainder of the week

3. Your three year old grandaughter asks if you will sit and watch Hi-5 Space Magic for the tenth time today. Do you
a) smile sweetly and sit and watch it for the eleventh time
b) Tell her the DVD player is broken
c) Tell her Pop will watch it after he has had his baked beans

4. There are some new scrapping things you really really really have to have but the budget just won't stretch that far. Do you
a) Smile sweetly and do without because you are grateful for the supplies you already have
b) scrimp on the groceries to stash a bit of cash away to save for them
c) Buy them on your credit card and tell your husband you won them in a raffle

5. You have gained a heap of weight and none of your clothes fit. Do you
a) smile sweetly and be grateful you at least have your health
b) go and buy clothes in the next size up and cut the labels off
c) wear your tight clothes and think evil thoughts every time you pass a skinny person

If you answered mostly a's.....you are such a liar, no one is that nice
If you answered mostly b's ...you are bordering on vindictive and you are a tad sneaky....Go girl!
If you answered mostly c's...you are totally normal

Catch you all later!!

2006-09-22T19:25:00.000+10:00

I have been tagged again, this time by Parky so here goes
The rules of the tag are:List 5 weird things about yourself or your pets.Tag 5 friends and list them.Then, those people need to write on their blogs about 5 weird things, and state the rules, and tag 5 more people.Dont forget to let the people you tag know by posting a comment on their blog!
1. I have a driving phobia
2. I can write backwards fluently
3. If I tip my head backwards I fall over
4. I am scared of the dark
5. I gag the whole time I am cleaning my teeth

Other news...Haley has just over two weeks till the baby is due
Ebony is having 8 friends over for a sleepover for her 13th birthday (a few days early)
I am going to start drinking scotch (refer to the above news)

2006-09-01T20:55:00.000+10:00

Many thanks to all those who left birthday greetings over at Aussielayouts!! My big day started with Emily tapping me on my face at 6.30 in the morning saying "here's your present Nanny, its a purse! (she had already let that slip a few days prior). Next was a visit from my sister who also had her birthday today! (We were both born on Sept 1st but 2 years apart). We sort of have a pact that we don't buy each other expensive gifts, so I had embellished a metal tin and filled it with a mud face pack and some pretty hairclips and a few other little trinkets...imagine my embarrassment when she gave me a hairdressing voucher and a bottle of Red Door perfume...aaaarrrggghh! (Do you know at 44 this is the first bottle of perfume I have ever owned!!!!!)My daughter Jodie and her boyfriend Duane came over at 10.30 with a lovely bunch of gerberas (see picture) and a new boomerang pillow and six coffee cups....I suggested those ideas much to Jodies disgust....my kids think my love of practical things mean I don't have a life lol.
My sil came down from Brisbane and we went to the local tavern and blew 20 bucks each on the pokies (or 20 sheets of Bazzill cardstock as I prefer to think of it!) I asked Martin not to get me anything as I wanted to go to SWIG in October...woohoo!
In the afternoon, Emily came into the lounge room and sang a stirring rendition of Happy Birthday as Haley carried out a mud cake with 4 candles...which I let Emily blow out, cos she's the best at it. Ebony came home after a sleepover at her friends house totally oblivious to the fact it was my big day and asked "what's for tea?" I think Haley must have whispered in her ear because a little while later she came out with a card she had made...so all in all a great day!
I was talking on the phone today to Mum and enquired about her best friend Enid, who is now in a home because she has alzheimers...she is still going strong...Mum has been through some funny experiences with Enid over the last few years let me tell you....Before she was put into the home her husband Ronnie died. The hospital rang Mum as they knew Enid wouldn't be able to comprehend the information. Mum broke the news to her and over the following days made the funeral arrangements and advised people she would have the wake at her house as Enid wouldn't cope with the catering. After the funeral everyone was back at Mums having tea and cake and Enid said to Mum " can we have some music on, this is the most boring bloody birthday party I have ever been to". Mum said no Enid , this is a wake for Ronnie...Enid says did he die?...Mum says yes, sorry love he's gone...Enid says...well he better not have gone to the pub the old bastard!
Last Christmas Mum went to the Home to have Christmas dinner with Enid as she has no family...Enid didn't remember Mum was her friend and went and sat with someone else so Mum sat with some other ladies she knew. After lunch the residents were taken back to their rooms. A nurse came and took Mums arm and said come on love, I will help you to your room. Mum pipes up and tells the nurse "no, I don't live here". The nurse says I know pet, just come with me...it was only when another nurse that knew Mum saw what was happening that she was able to make her escape lol.
I end this post on a serious note .I was so sad to hear that little Rani Millar lost her battle today after putting up such a fight. My thoughts are with Mel, john, Teagan and Joshua. There are just no words at times like these, I send my prayers to them all

2006-08-26T22:22:00.000+10:00

After two weeks of the worst flu I have ever had, today I almost felt normal....well as normal as you could expect from me! Next year I will have the flu vac, make sure you remind me...what a misery it is to have an earache, a nose full of snot and a bladder than loses it every time you cough...I developed the old hunch over and cross your legs routine, every time I felt another cough coming on and all that clenching made my ribs so sore I was prescribed strong pain killers to take off the edge...at least they brought on sleep, or should I say coma. Worse than the cough is the sneeze as it comes on unexpectantly and doesnt allow enough time to get into my hunch and clench stance...enough said!
Busy week these last few weeks, Jo flew home from the mines for his first flyout...he loves his new job working at the Osbourne Gold and Copper mine, where he has to travel 8 km underground to start work (too scary!!). They work one week day shift, one week night shift and then fly home for a week. In two weeks he worked 218 hours, boy thats a lot. He cant believe how good they feed him, his favourite meal is at dinner time, a choice of two mains...he has both...maybe a roast dinner and steak and chips, then there is a help yourself desert bar and home made cakes and slices...it was a rude shock when he rocked up here and we were all sick...tea time was a case of whatever you can spread on bread or open with a tin opener. Tonight he rang Haley to tell her after three weeks he has already been promoted to foreman...way to go! Unfortunately Haley has checked his roster and he wont be home for Fathers Day, the due date of the baby, Christmas Day, her birthday, his birthday or New Years Eve...however he will be home the weekend of SWIG...I feel a bit guilty about that lol.
Emily had a lovely day of dress ups the other day with her Aunty Jemma who is six months older than her...how weird is that...Jo's mum had a eighteen year break and then had 2 more little girls (Aunty Jordy is a year younger than Emily!)
Tonight she waltzed into the loungeroom with a piece of wrapping paper and some ribbon....I asked her what she had been doing and she replied..."wrapping the car cleaning set we bought for Pop for Fathers Day and the purse we bought for your birthday but dont tell anyone cos its a surprise"...lol
Ebony has been really sick with the flu too and had eight days off school...no faking it she was really crook and spent all dy sleeping...she came to us the other night (after the 8th day off) and announced a friend was coming to sleep over on Friday night and could we give them a lift to the Blue Light Disco...Um no, you have been sick! She launched into her "you must be kidding" routine, followed by the tears, then the yelling, " I hate you", followed up by the begging, pleading, offering to clean her room and then the finale of stomping up to the room and slamming her door...and you wonder why I am grey!
Tomorrow we plan to clean out our garage, what a task that will be...we have lived here 12 years and have never parked our car in there and slowly but surely it has filled to the brim with junk...all Ebonys old unwanted toys, assorted bikes without chains and flat tyres, sheets of tin for that fence Martin never got around to building, tins and tins of dried up house paint, Stanely screw driver boxes with no screw drivers in them and a whole assortment of other crap...we have attepted this task many times before so I know exactly whats going to happen....every time something is about to go in the rubbish pile, someone will pipe up and say, "I might use that one day" and it will go back into the garage so at the end of the day we will still have a pile of crap in there but it will just be stacked neater lol
Ok I am off to bed I didn't have my five hour granny nap today....
Could everyone please say a prayer for little Rani who is back in ICU. My thoughts are with you Mel and John

2006-08-07T22:46:00.000+10:00

This weekend Haley amused herself by cleaning out Ebonys Room (I would rather walk across hot coals lol) Emily had a fantastic time going through Ebony's treasures and scored some long forgotten toys and books. These funny glasses were one of her finds, she cracks me up when she wears them...I remember my Uncle Bob used to wear the real version of these and when he came to visit, my Mum would give all us kids a stern warning about laughing when he flipped up his sunnies! I actually used to love it when Uncle Bob visited, he always had a big pocket full of change. I would sit there busting my guts waiting for the moment when he handed over the loot and then shoot of to the corner shop to buy sherbet straws, sunny boys and choo choo bars...weren't they a dead give away, left you with big black teeth. On the subject of lollies, how crap are they these days...I hate all those sour gummy things and all the old favourites are a third of the size they used to be and don't taste anywhere near as good...My kids laugh when I tell then that 20 cents used to buy a big white paper bag full of lollies....now you get two measley snakes!
The other joy that has been taken away is the deposit for returning empty soft drink bottles. My bother, sister and I used to make a killing on the weekends....until Mr Brodie the shop keeper realised we were pinching the bottles from behind his shop...I remember we got a good whooping from Mum over that little fiasco...and whoopings...they are a thing of the past, you would be put in jail for that these days. I had my fair share of those over the years let me tell you....the various stages of whoopings were...for a minor infringement you got an open handed slap...piece of cake!!! For giving cheek and back chat the slap got a whole lot harder....and then there was the biggie....the ironing cord...(don't know why it was called that as it was actually the cord from the electric frypan)...One mention of the ironing cord had you shaking in your boots and hoping like hell you would be able to outrun Mum, which just for the record never happened. The welts it left on your legs lasted for hours and you would swear that from this moment on you would be good ...which just for the record never happened either lol. I remember one day it was my brother who was on the receiving end and I was beside myself with joy, as he had just drawn all over my favourite doll....after his beating I smugly commented "serve yourself right" which in turn earned me a beating for being smart. With all this talk of beatings I don't want to give the impression my mother was evil, because she truly wasn't, I deserved all I got and more and back in those days it wasn't considered bad, it was how discipline was dished out...anyway once again I have gotten right off track, can't even remember what I had intended to say now, so I will leave it till next time...bye!

2006-08-03T11:01:00.000+10:00

EEK! I have been tagged by Tracey C!! But I know what do do this time lol
1. How old are you? 44 this year, however mother nature has not been kind to me and I look ten years older than that... spose I could just lie and say 58 and people would think I look good for my age!
How many kids do you have if any? Haley who is almost 25, Jody who is almost 23 and Ebony who is almost 13
3. Are you married, single, divorced, widow? Married at 18, divorced at 24, remarried at 28 and still married
4. What is your occupation? I am supposed to be my husbands secretary however my skills leave a lot to be desired...However I am the family cook , cleaner and general jack of all trades, master of none
5. What are your passions? Husband and kids (you have to say that don't you), scrapbooking, my grand daughter
6. Are you a dreamer or a dream seeker? I am just a dreamer, too lazy to actually work at making things happen
7. Are you happy with the way you life has turned out? Yes, I am doing everything I ever wanted to do
8. Are you a scrapper and if so how many hours a week do you scrap? I scrap for several hours a day (3,4,5).....which is why the lawn needs mowing, I don't know where my iron is and baked beans on toast is a delicacy
9. What do you want to do before you die? Write my life story...I have started a few times
10. What is your favorite food? Anything junky looking...chocolate, take away and my fave...biscuits!
11. What is the food you hate the most? that sushi stuff...eewwww!
12. What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you? Ha ha! We don't have all day! Read about it in my book lol
3. What is the happiest day of your life thus far? All the usual stuff, getting married, having kids.....but watching my grand daughter being born....that was the mostest!
14. Are you a neat freak? Or a dirty house cleaner? I am a neat freak but you wouldnt think so if you walked into my house as NO ONE cooperates! It seems that lolly wrappers and chip packets are meant to be tucked down the side of the lounge chair, dirty washing goes on the floor BESIDE the washing basket and no one is satisfied until they have dirtied every plate and glass in the house.....

I tag Christine M who needs to update her BLOG!

2006-08-02T19:53:00.000+10:00

I had a bit of a chuckle when I saw the pictures Ebony upoaded onto my computer from her camera. She slept over at her friends house last weekend and I would say they had a bit of fun playing dress ups....either that or they need lessons in applying makeup lol.
Pretty dramatic at our house this week...As some of you know, Haleys partner Jo, went to Western Australia to get a job in the mines....he got one....and when they found out his family was in Queensland they transfered him back here lol. It's still in the middle of whoop whoop at the Osbourne copper and gold mine south of Mt Isa. He will will work for two weeks then be flown home for a week so they have to think about where they are going to base themselves....probably close to me I would say, because Haley needs the company and when the new baby is born she will need my interference...I mean help!
I am not getting as much time to scrap these days as Martins business is getting busier and I am his secretary...if anyone remebers Betty from Hey Dad, I give her a run for money as far as being dumb is concerned. I hate it when builders ring me up and ask me to fax them things.....I have had the fax for 3 years and still can't do it without causing paper jams, sending blank sheets because I have loaded the tray wrong. or worse still fax them disney colouring pages that have somehow got mixed in with the important stuff! My worst nightmare was realised the other day when the red light flashed indicating I needed to change the toner...My God what a drama, of course I cant find the instruction book, (that will be filed somewhere never to be found again). I couldn't even work out how to open the lid thingy (apparently it helps if you pull a lever whatsy) and after twenty minutes I was swearing like a wharfy in a real crazy woman rage. However once I did find the lever whatsy it was quite easy, but I hope this lot of toner lasts a very long time. Heaven help me if I ever have to find a real job, I am unskilled at everything and too clumsy for a lot of positions. My sister got me a job once working at the cafe where she worked...I made my first milkshake and tried to remove it before the spinning thing had stopped which shredded the paper cup and you know the rest...however that was not my fault as the automatic cut off was broken....it WAS my fault however when I over flowed the cappacino jug, set the hotplate on fire and sent five people off with neatly wrapped hamburgers....minus the meat patty. I also remember my first day working at Coles when I was told to "face up " the dairy fridge (pull everything forward to make it look neat). I was standing on an upside down milk crate to reach the high shelves when one of my legs went through the crate....the sharp plastic was digging into my leg and I couldn't remove it...I had to gingerly slide my way to the front desk for assistance which came in the form of a hack saw....how embarrassing!
Anyway I am rambling now, I must be off and do the dishes...have a good day everyone!

2006-07-27T20:19:00.000+10:00

Last weekend I had another fantastic time at SWIG. They seem to get better every time and I think it's the best laugh I ever have. The theme this time was country and straight away I thought of a little horsey costume I had seen at Spotlight. It was a bit pricey at fifty dollars, but I knew Emily would just love it when I had finished with it so I bought it along with a funky cowboy hat. Despite it clearly stating on the packaging that it was for 3 to 5 year olds I was certain the stretchy fabric would allow me to get it on no worries. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!! When I couldn't get it up over my bum I pulled it over my head instead and got seriously and totally wedged with my arms up stretched over my head making it difficult to breath. Home alone I had visions of trying to make an emergency call to Martin which would have been no easy task as my head was covered and I could't see...in the end I had to resort to ripping my way out of the costume Incredible Hulk style. Poor horsey was disembowelled and I had to leave him that way until after SWIG. He has now been repaired and Emily loves him!
I have been disgusted in myself lately as I am 12 kilos heavier than I was this time last year and gain a bit more weight each week. I think it's time to do something about it....Mind you the irony of that statement is I am sitting here eating fruit and nut chocolate washed down with a Nescafe latte! I hate the thought of another summer sweltering because I am too embarrassed to go in the pool. If any other half hearted people out there are interested in joining me in cyber weight loss let me know...I need a bit of back up...

2006-07-20T23:35:00.000+10:00

What is it with three year old and toilet paper??? The culprit proudly owned up and said "get the camera Nanny!" Emily also has a fascination with tissues, baby wipes and anything else that can be dispensed and make a huge mess.
I am really looking forward to my weekend away at SWIG, I have had just about as much as I can take of preteen moodiness, Mr Grumpy dh who is working long hours and needs to chill out and that damn swimming pool. I hadn't even so much as vacuumed it since February (shocking I know) but despite the neglect it was looking pretty good. However guilt got the better of me and I gave it a thorough clean and added all sorts of chemicals and with fifteen minutes the water turned black??????????? I do vaguely remember the pool guy once telling me not to add blah blah the same time I add blah blah... I really need to pay more attention to detail. Its dark when Martin gets home from work so he hasnt noticed yet...no doubt he will over the weekend lol. If I was any kind of mother and wife I would have pre prepared meals for the crew for while I am away however I took the easy way out and stuck a pizza hut menu on the fridge....No use relying on Haley to cook while I am gone...she is bad...very very bad....she cooked vegetable soup the other day and asked to taste it and see what it needed...I told her she needed to throw it out lol...She also uses so much detergent when she washes the dishes, if you go to get a glass of water from the tap you end up with a glassful of bubbles.....however she is the queen of clean, my carpets get vacuumed to within an inch of its life everyday!
Anyway, off to pack for my big weekend, hope to have some news when I get back!

2006-07-17T22:26:00.000+10:00

I got my camera out yesterday to get some photos of Emily to send to her Daddy in Western Australia and most of them ended up looking like this lol....she is such a ham now and it's hard to get a sensible one of her. She was very excited to get a parcel off her Dad today (after an excrutiating one week wait). Two tshirts from somewhere along the Nullabour, A toy camel and some fairy books. Joe got a job a couple of days after arriving in WA...a storeman in a heavy equipment plant....he hates it but unfortunately all his health and safety tickets, heavy machinery tickets and even his truck driving learners permit are all invalid in that state so he has to sit for them all over again... I dont think its as easy as he thought it was going to be. It's hard on Haley too, I know she is bored out of her brain , her and jo always used to go out to dinner and fishing and stuff so she is missing all of that. I am trying to give her a bit of a break while she is here so she can rest up, she is always tired and has been having a lot of aches and pains with this pregnancy. Miss Emily is a very entertaining house guest and always has us in fits of laughter with her goings on. She loves the fact that Pop comes home every day with blood on him somewhere from knocking himself around at work. Out comes the doctors bag and she gives him a needle and puts a bandage on his sore. Its been a while since we have had a little person in the house, I had forgotten what it was like to here those magic words....I have finished Nanny, come and wipe my bum...if Mum goes to do it she says, No Nanny will do it...lucky me!
Ebony came home from school today with a detention slip I had to sign..Late for class again, so ten minutes detention for every five minutes she was late....she was not happy about giving up her luch hour tomorrow and thought I might write her a note to get her out of it...she thought wrong!
Jody is coming over tomorrow night to get our BAS done and catch up on the bookwork...it seems this is beyond me, I cant even file things properly so I will get to help her by stapling...it is the only job she trusts me with. She is right too, I faxed some job sheets through for Martin the other day and also sent notes for my online class and a few other bits and pieces.
Tomorrow I have to clean the pool, I havent done it for months....its just no fun in winter... I have to wonder what mishap awaits me...will I fall in when I lean over too far to scoop leaves??? Will I whack myself in the head with the pole??? Will I spill hydrochloric acid on my foot (sorry I cant believe Martin trusts me with hydrochloric acid!) .....Then I will have to give some thought to my costume for the western theme at SWIG..I have something in mind so I will have to check out a certain shop tomorrow...
Boy that was a boring post, I will try to do better next time lol

2006-07-15T10:17:00.000+10:00

Last Thursday night Martin, Ebony and I went late night shopping...our mission....to buy Eb a pair of shoes she had seen on a previous shopping trip. When we found the shoes they didn't have her size and straight away she developed the dreaded teenage tanty...crossed arms, sulky face and snappy one word answers. Ever the optimist Martin thought we should try all the other shoe shops to see if we could find another pair she liked...12 shops later still no success. There was tension in the air and Ebonys mood had gotten worse if thats possible. I was starting to lose it, she was being a real brat! Martin wanted to keep looking and I on the other hand wanted to grab her by the scruff of the neck and frog march her back to the car and get her nothing. In the end I sat on a seat while they kept looking and eventually they came back with a pair of shoes she "sort of liked"..aaarrrgghh! We had planned on grabbing a bite to eat while we were there but somehow we had lost our appetites, wonder why lol. As we were leaving I spotted a gorgeous suede vest on sale at Pumpkin Patch and bought it for Emily. She is wearing it in the photo above. Don't know why she is pouting, maybe she has been hanging around Ebony for too long!
Ok I have got that off my chest, am I the only mother of a brat???

2006-07-10T23:18:00.000+10:00

I love this photo of Ebony and her friend wearing their matching hot pink tiaras.....last week it was halos, the week before that grass skirts. The last day of the holidays, woohoo!!! Maybe my house might start looking tidy again, though I am going to miss my sleep-ins. I woke up this morning half roasted. I turn my electric blanket onto 3 to warm the bed up always with the intention of turning it off once I turn in....but you know how it is, you forget and nod off. All through the night you toss and turn because its so uncomfortably hot but you never quite wake up enough to turn the damn thing off. I was almost gasping for breath by the time I finally woke up and I was dripping in sweat, such a great way to start the day.
Tomorrow I am off shopping as dh has had quite enough of my baggy, holey tracksuit pants and stretched and stained jumper which are both wash and wear jobs. He has given me some money (which I would love to spend on scrapbooking stuff) to buy a new pair of jeans and a jumper. I absolutely hate breaking in new clothes, they are always so stiff and uncomfortable and it takes months to stretch the bum of new pants! I am fashion challenged for sure and have already been warned not to come home with black or brown (comfort colours?). He has told me to buy something pretty....so not me, I always bypass the florals and feminines and gravitate towards the earthy grungy non descript section lol. Well thats all for now, I have a new scrapping mag to read so I plan on a hot shower and turn in to my nice warm bed and this time I will turn off the blanket as soon as I hop in!

2006-07-09T21:54:00.000+10:00

After months of not being able to access my blog I got onto the support team who pointed out I was trying to log in with the wrong user name...d'oh!
So much has happened in the last few months. As most of you know Haley, Jo and Emily are relocating to Kalgoorlie for work prospects. Jo actually left last Sunday in the wee hours of the morning loaded up like the Leyland Brothers. He has only ever been as far as Northern NSW in the past so it was a huge adventure driving to the other side of the country. Haley and Emily will now stay with us until sometime after the new baby is born (due Oct 8th the day after my daughter Jodie was born). It's an absolute joy having them here, Emily is just the sweetest little thing and very well behaved for a three year old, though she doesn't shut up from the time she wakes up til the time she goes to bed. She is a wealth of information....I have learnt all about farts and the comings and goings of fairies, and how you make purple when you mix red and blue (that was done on my dining room table with tubes of paint I had left lying around lol).
The school holidays are almost over and I survived relatively unscathed. We seem to be the house for sleepovers and on any given night over the last fortnight we have had teen girls sleeping over and giggling into the early hours of morning....man can they eat, its been a constant trip back and forth to the shops for chips and chocolate and yet they are all built like bean poles! Ebony went on a shopping trip today with one of her friends (and a purse full of money thanks to dear old Dad...). She came home with a pair of skinny leg jeans which are apparently a hot fashion item, a thin little jumper that won't keep anything warm, a pair of tracky dacks which cost more than three of mine put together, a hot pink tiara???? and black tights...she bought talls so more than half the legs have to get tucked inside her shoes lol.
When she goes back to school I will have to get stuck into painting her room. She pointed out that it has been 12 years since her room was last painted and she has outgrown the teddy bear wall paper border. Against my better judgement I let her choose the paint which is lime green.....yikes....how I will ever get to the walls is beyond me, as she one have to be the messiest person I know, I feel ill when I walk into her room...clothes all over the floor mixed with wet smelly towels, chip packets and lolly wrappers scattered everywhere and ...well you get the picture.
I took the photo of Emily the other day while she was playing dress ups...She gave me an impromptu ballet performance which brought tears to my eyes lol...her collection of dress up clothes is growing rapidly and we often head off to the shops dressed sa princess or hula girl (her not me)...I vow to keep my blog up to date now I remember my user name so I will see you all in a few days!

2006-05-14T21:45:00.000+10:00

Happy Mother's Day everyone. I had a quiet day today as Haley and Jodie came to see me yesterday. I received a new top from Haley (a week ago, she got the dates mixed up lol) and from Jodie I got...wait for it.....NEW FLANNELETTE PAJAMAS! Posh ones too! Came from a lingerie shop wrapped in tissue paper in a pretty box. Ebony seemed to let Mothers Day slip by...she did ask me yesterday if she could get an advance on next weeks pocket money, and assuming she needed to buy me something I gave her 10 bucks...she came back from the shops with a Dolly magazine and a roast pork roll, neither of which was for me rofl!
I don't want to get my hopes up but it seems Jo may be leaving for Western Australia in a few months time and Haley will stay with us until the baby is born as she would have no one to mind Emily otherwise. It would be fantastic to at least have the new baby around for a few weeks until she has to leave. I had a most entertaining day with the Devine Miss Em yesterday. I bought her an elcheapo beauty kit to muck around with and she had a ball with it, I just love watching her put on the fake eye shadow...it seems you have to pull your mouth to the side when you apply it. Even the cat was made over, much to his disgust. Her new saying is "are you thinking what I'm thinking?' She is usually thinking she wants me to push her on the swing or get her another packet of m&m's, not really what I am thinking! I can't believe she will be three in a few weeks, time has gone so fast...

2006-05-06T23:04:00.000+10:00

ok I have been tagged by Chrissy and Susan so here goes!

What scrapbook products/lines do you dislike? I love patterned paper more than anything else..when I die I want to be buried under pp. Dislikes?? I hate fibres, I never know what do do with them
What technique do you use more than anything else? I have had to think about this...I would say stuffing up...and maybe handcutting
What is the smallest scrap of paper you save? I am very wasteful ..big bits get shoved in a drawer where it is destined to remain forever...or until Ebony uses it
Have you had any scrapping related injuries? Geez don't get me started!! I have dropped my fiskars soft touch scissors which landed pointy end in my foot..I still have the scar. Stapled my finger, stabbed myself sewing, machine sewed the hem of my shirt to a layout, skidded across the room on a scrapbook magazine, fallen off my chair and got a blood nose...you get the idea
Finish this sentence…'If I weren’t a scrapbooker/stamper, I’d spend my money on.....the kids, not that I dont do that now anyway
Give your best storage organisational tool. My fishing bag tote which was given to me by my friends a few years ago. Inside has six boxes with compartments..I store all my bits and bobs in there, it sits under my desk
You just won a week long scrapping cruise for 5. Who is going with you? I am going on my own...I will scrap till two in the morning and not get out of bed till late in the afternoon. Then I will dine on prawns washed down with icy cold Pepsi Max. I will spend the entire week in my elastic waisted pajamas and thongs. Becky Higgins will call me on the phone but I will tell her I am too busy to talk right now...and then I will go to the souvenir shop and buy tea towels for all my friends
When you received your first publication notification, who did you tell? Martin...he said "yeah and"...

Ok Tess I tag you!

2006-05-06T21:49:00.000+10:00

Sorry I have been missing in action but my life has been a little hectic lately and I have had some news that has left me a little sad. My eldest daughter Haley and her partner Jo are likely to be moving to Western Australia in a few months. Needless to say the thought of my little buddy moving so far away is devastating not to mention the new little grandbaby due in October. Anway I have already spent most of the week crying over that so let's move on shall we? What do you think of the pink sunnies? Ebony spent two weeks pocket money on these little beauties which are very big, very pink and have sparkles all over the arms...I nearly died when I saw them!! Fashion is leaving me behind big time I can't keep up with it all. I went to Citybeach the other day with Ebony to look for new shoes (for her not me) and I had to leave the shop after five minutes... swear to God they were having a rock concert in there, the music was so loud I could feel it thumping in my chest...I want to yell at them to turn down the damn volume...However it's probably just a clever ploy...Mum can't stand it, throws kid money and waits outside..or at least that's what happened in our case.
The whole loud thing must become a bother when you reach a certain age. As a teenager I attended heaps of concerts with loud music...did you know Angus Scott from AC/DC flung sweat all over me?? One of the highlights from way back then..It's a wonder I didn't pass out..I was wearing jeans so tight, the zip could only be done up by lying flat on the bed and reefing it up with a coat hanger..geez those were the days!
Being a teen in the seventies was a blast.. a date with Prisoner and Restless Years twice a week (Bea Smith was my idol), surf mats, flops (does anyone else remember these odd thongs that had a woven bamboo inner sole and velvet straps?), John Paul Young, and Countdown every Sunday night..Life was good! Anyway I am off to clean a little...Em slept over last night and I am still finding barbeque shapes in every nook and cranny
Catch you later!

2006-04-24T10:47:00.000+10:00

My pajama pants are officially dead. Today when I hung them on the line I realised this was the end. Martin will be so pleased, he is always telling me off for getting around in rags. It's not that I can't afford new stuff I just seem to get my favourites and wear them into the ground. If I know I don't have to go out anywhere I will slob around in pj's all day...there is something comforting about elasticised waists. It's almost as if they are saying "you know I think you may have gained a few pounds, but dont't panic I will just stretch a little further!"
The only thing worse than my daggy wardrobe is my shoe collection...I gave up on trying to buy new shoes years ago, my feet are just so broad and two different sizes so I just buy thongs. I have my every day thongs which are three years old and like my pj's are almost buggared. Then I have my shopping thongs which are a little tidier but nowhere near as comfy. Then last of all there's my going out thongs. Thankfully we don't go out to often as high heeled thongs and me don't seem to get along so well.
I think I will wait till my pj's are dry then I will carefully cut them into strips for polishing the car....may they live on (and on and on and on!).

2006-04-22T23:38:00.000+10:00

Don't know about you guys but I will be glad when the Easter eggs are all gone. Every corner of my house is littered with foil paper but no one is owning up to them. I feel like all I do all day is pick up after everyone. I am going to screw towel racks to the floor because thats where all the towels end up and instead of folding the washing I am going to roll everything into balls and chuck it in the corner because again, that's where most things end up. While I am at it I will have a shower and drop the washer, razor and cake of soap on the floor to meld into a soggy mess, make a sandwich and leave crumbs and scraps of ham on the bench......and then (I am on a roll here) I will fill the kitchen bin till it is piled up like the leaning tower of Pizza and still try to cram more in. I am going to read the newspaper and leave black fingerprints on the handle of the fridge, all the cupboard doors and the table and then I will get the empty toilet roll cylinder and shove it on the handle of the damn toilet brush. While I am at it (betcha wish you hadn't got me started) I will make a coffee and spill sugar everywhere and leave half a dozen brown cup rings on the bench. I'll leave the lid off the biscuit jar so the biscuits can go all soggy, leave the screen doors all open to let the flies in and when Martin comes home after work and asks what I have been doing all day I can tell him to go to buggary!!!!!

2006-04-20T23:51:00.000+10:00

thcuse me ith I'm talking funny but I'th jutht had a tooth out..Was just my luck to get a horrendous toothache the day before Good Frday. Today was the soonest I could get an appointment, so I had to endure agony all over Easter. It was one of those toothaches where when you drink or eat anything hot or cold your mouth gets like an electric shock....yowzers! The dentist told me that there were no cavities but the nerve was dying...I cant afford six hundred dollars for a root canal at the moment so I bravely told him to yank it out. My bravery was brief!! Sucking desperately on the nitrous oxide I endured the three injections with relative calm...until the moment I thought I was going to choke, I felt like I was trying to swallow a tennis ball. Gagging and carrying on I sat up in the dentist chair grabbing my throat thinking this was the end....no glamorous departure for me...I was going to kark
it in the dentist chair. The dentist tried to calm me telling me he had injected my soft palette and although it felt like I had something to choke on there was nothing there at all....to try not to swallow, it wasn't going to hurt. I felt like grabbing him by the ears! Then with an assortment of instruments and several of his fingers in my mouth he proceeds to ask me a question...HELLOOO! Not only am I choking on a tennis ball I have a gob full of objects....now is NOT the time to be asking me questions!!
After several minutes of yanking at this tooth it was obvious it was going to give up without a fight...he tells the dental nurse to steady my head....yikes!! More pulling and tugging..He has to stop every few minutes to catch his breath, we now have another nurse holding my shoulders down...I feel like saying..'Um you know what?, my tooth feels fine now, let's not worry about it" But nooo, this becomes very much like a dog playing tug of war with an old sock. Finally after twenty- five minutes I hear that sickening crack and the tooth was out...i was told not to eat or drink for four hours and I might like to take some pain killers. Might???? Went straight to the chemist for some heavy duty action. I have just woken up after an eight hour coma. I have decided that dentists rate right up there with pap smears and taxation officers!

2006-04-18T23:00:00.000+10:00

Mum is staying at my place tonight. This afternoon she asked if she could ring my nephew Cody and leave a message for his Mum. She didn't realize Ebony was already using the cordless phone in her room at the time. Conversation as follows..
Mum: Hello is that you Cody?
Ebony: No its Ebony
Mum: Does your mother know you are there, its nearly dark?
Ebony: Yeah she knows
Mum: Could you please put Cody on?
Ebony: Cody isnt here
Mum: Ok , I will call again later

Rofl!!

Tuesday night her favourite show is on... Dancing With The Stars. Martin was very gracious and sacrificed his usual shows so she could watch it...I can't believe he sat through the whole program! She also sat in his recliner so she could rest her cup of tea on the coffe table beside it, so he had to sit on the other recliner which is rarely used and doesn't have the comfortable bum groove it has taken him ten years to mould.

Haley will come for a visit tomorrow so Emily can catch up with Great Grandma. Mum has 15 grand children and 18 great grandchildren so I am guessing it will take Mum all day to get her name right..she has been calling me Jen all day!

I forgot to mention that Chrissy and Tess helped me get music on my BLOG. This is Ebony's favourite song and since she won't let me put her picture on here, I figured it could be her contribution. She plays in over and over in her room, I should be well and truly over it

2006-04-17T19:23:00.000+10:00

At the tender age of 55 my sister-in-law has just got her drivers licence. Not that she is a novice-she has been driving without one for thirty-five years! Naughty naughty naughty!!!

At least she drives with confidence, not like little old me..I am the queen of driving phobias both as a driver and passenger. I do not drive on highways, I do not overtake under any circumstances, I do not drive over big bridges...the list goes on. That is why I will never be able to have a fight with Wendie or I won't be able to go to SWIG. (We take my car but she drives.). Martin gets annoyed if I ever have to drive him somewhere as he reckons we take the scenic route via Darwin becauseI avoid scary roundabouts and busy roads. He gets even more annoyed when I am the passenger because I am the back seat driver from hell!

2006-04-17T19:11:00.000+10:00

oops!!! I know what you are thinking but it wasn't me. Martin started to back down the drive way not realising his sisters car was parked beside him. If it had been me he would have said "you idiot ...don't you check in your side mirrors...blah blah blah" However because it was him it was his sisters fault for having the audacity to park beside him. Her car is jinxed, it has only just come out of the panel shop after its last bingle!!

2006-04-16T23:35:00.000+10:00

My Mum is staying on the Coast for a bit of a break over Easter. It's good to catch up with some of my brothers and sisters while she is here, we love to throw around stories from our childhood, which I have to say was a very happy one indeed. My youngest brother recently told a tale that I loved...He says it was the day he knew that I had "made it". We were a really poor family with seven kids and Dad on a minimum wage. Our clothes were all home made or hand me downs and although we ate very well as my mum was an excellent cook, the budget didn't extend to certain luxuries. When I was fourteen I got a part time job working at the little corner store. After my first week there I received my very first wages...I can't remember how much it was but it wouldn't have been much. With it I bought a bottle of coke and a packet of bacon. My brother says he will never forget how I walked through the front door and announced "I have bacon!" (We never had bacon). He then tells how he and my younger sister sat up on stools in the kitchen and watched as I cooked the bacon in the frypan, the whole packet. He says he had never smelt anything so good. They then followed me to the kitchen table and watched as I ate every last piece, washed down with the entire bottle of coke. Although my brother was only ten at the time he says he remembers feeling immensely proud...he thought that anyone who could buy a packet of bacon had definately done well for themselves and that's why he didn't ask for any...it was my moment. I thought it was such a sweet story...then I told the one about the time I found him in the cubby house with his tool kit playing doctors with the little girls from across the road....forty years old and it still embarrasses the hell out of him!

2006-04-16T23:25:00.000+10:00

The other day we bought Emily a swingset so she would have something to amuse herself when the weather gets too cold to swim in our pool. She thought they were pretty cool and played on them for a while....till she found my mop and started playing horsies...isn't that always the way?? I remember when we were kids there were no sofisticated toys, just a big back yard and a vivid imagination. I can't believe it when Ebony tells me she is bored and has nothing to do...she has a laptop, ipod, mobile phone, ps2, karaoke machine, DVD and TV all in her room. When we were kids a piece of rope was all it took to keep us amused for hours. I must be getting old I am sounding like my mother!

2006-04-15T18:08:00.000+10:00

I couldn't put it off any longer....today I had to go for a haircut. I always leave it until my hair has gotten to the embarrassing stage, in my case it had grown into a mullet. I'm not into the whole hairdressing thing, I just want them do do their best and let me out of there. I don't particularly want to indulge in idle chit chat with the sixteen year old apprentice wearing her bum crack jeans, I don't want to read the old issues of New Idea and I am certainly not interested in the leave in conditioner with a SPF factor of fifteen plus. No frills, just cut my hair so I can go home. I stopped off at the chemist on my way home to get a hair colour....something to cover up the skunk strip of grey that has taken over the front of my fringe. How confusing!!! Not one of them say "light brown " on the packet!! Moccha Delight, Honey Gold....they sounded like hot beverages! In the end I went for one that had a picture of an older lady on the packaging and hoped like hell I wasn't going to end up with light mauve hair. You would think applying this stuff would be dead easy but straight away I came up against an obstacle. The gloves they give you are flat little things stuck to the instruction sheet....My big fat hands don't even come close to gliding inside them so they end up in the bin. I just squeeze the gloop all over my head, mash it around a bit and wait twenty minutes and voila! Brown hair!...and brown ears...and brown palms! No more haircuts for me now until SWIG in July!

2006-04-15T00:47:00.000+10:00

I had to give Emily her Easter goodies early as I won't see her on Sunday. She got some new winter pj's, a My Little Pony tin with marshmallows and a fairy tin I made for her with a few chockies. The bunny lost his head almost immediately!

2006-04-14T23:00:00.000+10:00

Did you know the quickest way to be a size 10 is to cut the labels off your clothes??
Did you know that the day you wear your daggiest undies a fluke gust of wind will blow your skirt up over your face??
Did you know that if bread is mouldy , you wont realize until you have eaten ninety percent of your sandwich??
Did you know that kids won't remember that you asked them to clean their room but WILL remember you promised them they could go to the movies??

2006-04-14T22:49:00.000+10:00

How are you supposed to pick a good shopping trolley??? They all work perfectly when they are empty but as soon as it is half loaded it develops an annoying squeak and the wheels decide to go their own separate ways. Add to that the frustration of being held up behind the undecisive shopper who leaves their trolley in the middle of the aisle while they spend five minutes trying to choose between three ply toilet paper with pictures of labrador puppies or two ply scented with jasmine. It's not over until you have queued for ten minutes only to find you have just scored a trainee checkout operator who doesn't know the PLU code for broccoli. I hate shopping!

2006-04-14T22:41:00.000+10:00

Today I decided I need to give up smoking (again). I purchased a pack of nicotine paches and dutifully applied one according to the directions. After less than five minutes it fell off so thinking it was a dud I applied another only to have the same thing happen again. Not to be beaten I drove to the shop and bought a packet of band aids and used four to stick around the edges of the patch. At this stage I was certain of a positive result, I wasn't having the urge to have a cigarette at all. Then the patch fell off again..off to the shop again to buy some fabric band aid strips as I was certain they would have better sticking power. I was wrong! I put the patch in the bin and had a cigarette (or two)

2006-04-14T22:28:00.000+10:00

It has occured to me just how many mundane every day happenings are actually quite scientific. I discovered this whilst dunking biscuits into my coffee. If the biscuit isn't dunked long enough it will still be required to be chewed...which of course defeats the whole purpose of dunking the biscuit in the first place. However should you dunk the biscuit for too long the top half topples off and drops into your coffee leaving a slurry at the bottom of your cup which is not a good thing. For those interested I have found that counting to four is exact scientific formula for the perfectly dipped biscuit. My biscuit of choice at the moment is oat and fruit which contains less than 1 gram of fat which of course means instead of having just one you can have three, four or even five!

2006-04-13T23:57:00.000+10:00

Did I mention I have a very cute little
grandaughter??? Emily...or "The Devine Miss Em" as I prefer to call her is almost three and expecting a baby brother or sister early in October. I am very experienced at this whole Nanna thing now and try to have Emily sleep over once a week. It's not at all unusual for me to be sitting up at three in the morning watching the Wiggles and singing along with Jeff, Greg , Anthony and Emily's personal favourite Murray!